Here’s a funny site called Bible Sex Stories. The dirty bits of the Bible are repackaged as badly written erotic stories:

Hagar reached down under Abraham’s tunic and felt the hardness. “What is that, a stone idol under there?” She asked, as she slid down and fellated Abraham’s obelisk. He enjoyed her expert tongue, but soon he couldn’t bear it. He lifted her up and placed her on top of him.

As he entered Hagar’s supple moistness, Abraham flashed back to how his wife Sarah’s dry gullet reminded him of the hot desert sand, and he shuddered. Hagar grabbed onto his collar and rode him like a camel, bouncing up and down, drilling him deeper into her with each movement.

From Abraham Visits The Maid.