Functional Ambivalent writes humorously and at length about panties. This is only a tiny fraction of his panty wisdom:

I’m going to admit something here that I’ve never admitted before: There are certain underpants that my wife wears that render me powerless. They are kryptonite to me. When we’re getting dressed to go out and she puts on a pair of those certain panties underneath a dress, I know that I will do whatever she asks me to do that night.

Her: “Let’s go see modern dance.”
Me: “I’d love to. Can I sit next to you and maybe touch your leg in the dark?”
Her: “Tickets are $10,000.”
Me: “No problem. Can I sit next to you and maybe touch your leg in the dark?”

My wife doesn’t really know how much power these certain underpants have over me. (Note to self: Don’t blog secrets, moron.)