In case you missed it, there is a set of funny conversation transcripts on the forums at Bondage.com that are making the rounds of the blogs. A kinky man gets surreal phone calls from his mother after she finds out about his kink, and begins to explore her own:

Mom — I mean it. We went out last night and he said it twice!


Me — Where did you go?


Mom — Well, just upstairs. But still.


Me — Did you like it?


Mom — It made me smile. But I think I was blushing.


Me — From that? Why?


Mom — Because I didn’t know how deep to go.


Me — You’re losin’ me. What?


Mom — You know, with my finger.


Me — Ummmmm, Uhh. Well´┐Ż (Why do I bother? I don’t *have* to answer the phone.)


Mom — Well? I never did that before. I wasn’t sure if I would hurt him.


Me — Poop finger. (System shock is an ugly thing.)


Mom — What?


Me — You gave the poor guy the poop finger. Christ.


Mom — We’re experimenting. Isn’t your mother allowed to experiment??


Me — Exactly what did I do to deserve this?


Mom — Just tell me how far in I can do that.


Me — You really put your finger in his butt, huh? (Nothing surprises me anymore.)


Mom — Only a little ways. I was too embarrassed. I wanted to keep going.


Me — You won’t hurt him. Just buy some Astro Glide.


Mom — I brought a case home.


Me — Good fuckin’ god! You going to put a safety deposit box inside him? (Ok, I lied. Things still surprise me.)


Mom — Will you be serious?


Me — I am! That’s a lot of goop!


Mom — I have to get going, he’ll be back in a few minutes.


Me — Ok ok. He’ll know when it’s too far. Got a safe word?


Mom — It’s ‘Jingle.’


Me — Good enough. Love you. Don’t call back mkay?


Mom — Rotten kid.


Me — (Click)

Obviously this is one of those internet things to be taken with a grain of salt — this could easily be quality comic fiction. But remember, there’s no way to know for sure. Saying you are sure with too much certainty only makes you look like a bear of little brain.

Found via Bondage Blog.