Comments on: On The Dubious Pleasures Of Adultery http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/ Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality Wed, 7 Jan 2009 23:03:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Bacchus http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4241 Bacchus Wed, 02 Mar 2005 17:57:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4241 "...my ErosBlog editorial policy is to refrain from trashing anybody's sexual choices..." Had to delete a couple of comments that didn't comport with the policy. It's a fine line, sure, between expressing disagreement or polite forboding ("people who do that, are, I fear, doomed to misery") and outright rudeness or condemnation. But here's a hint: if you find yourself cursing or namecalling, you may be crossing the line. Sorry to be heavy-handed (I've had to delete an unusual number of comments this week) but I WON'T allow the comment system to turn ErosBlog into a harsh, rude, or nasty sort of place. Let civility be your byword! “…my ErosBlog editorial policy is to refrain from trashing anybody’s sexual choices…”

Had to delete a couple of comments that didn’t comport with the policy. It’s a fine line, sure, between expressing disagreement or polite forboding (”people who do that, are, I fear, doomed to misery”) and outright rudeness or condemnation. But here’s a hint: if you find yourself cursing or namecalling, you may be crossing the line.

Sorry to be heavy-handed (I’ve had to delete an unusual number of comments this week) but I WON’T allow the comment system to turn ErosBlog into a harsh, rude, or nasty sort of place. Let civility be your byword!

]]> By: Agent Mulder http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4238 Agent Mulder Mon, 28 Feb 2005 16:47:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4238 Well for me it makes no difference if someone is married or not. If they are "attached" enough to someone to not be able to give another person the TLC they need then they shouldn't be having the relationship. People do it all the time, married or not, but as soon as a married person does it, the knives come out from the moral brigade. Well for me it makes no difference if someone is married or not. If they are “attached” enough to someone to not be able to give another person the TLC they need then they shouldn’t be having the relationship. People do it all the time, married or not, but as soon as a married person does it, the knives come out from the moral brigade.

]]> By: Regan http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4237 Regan Mon, 28 Feb 2005 16:11:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4237 It's not the extramarital relationship that's the problem, it's all the damn sneaking around. Plus the guy sounds like a dick. In The Ethical Slut, there's a great quote - "If something goes wrong in a monogamous relationship, nobody takes that as evidence against the practicality of monogamy." It’s not the extramarital relationship that’s the problem, it’s all the damn sneaking around. Plus the guy sounds like a dick.

In The Ethical Slut, there’s a great quote - “If something goes wrong in a monogamous relationship, nobody takes that as evidence against the practicality of monogamy.”

]]> By: TOM http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4236 TOM Mon, 28 Feb 2005 14:44:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4236 I am currently in an "extramarital" relationship and I can tell you, this isn't always how it is. We care very much about each other and yes, sex is one part of any relationship, but we have deeper connections. The only trouble we have is seeing each other enough (both sexually and non-sexually) and keeping it all to ourselves. Society at large tends to judge a situation based on a very narrow view of love and how relationships "ought to be". Open your minds - it isn't all about sex. I am currently in an “extramarital” relationship and I can tell you, this isn’t always how it is. We care very much about each other and yes, sex is one part of any relationship, but we have deeper connections. The only trouble we have is seeing each other enough (both sexually and non-sexually) and keeping it all to ourselves. Society at large tends to judge a situation based on a very narrow view of love and how relationships “ought to be”. Open your minds - it isn’t all about sex.

]]> By: bigfoot http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4235 bigfoot Mon, 28 Feb 2005 12:22:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4235 I have never had,nor have i ever heard of anyone else who has had a "part-time" relationship that worked... Great sex is created by trust and affection. I have never had,nor have i ever heard of anyone else who has had a “part-time” relationship that worked…
Great sex is created by trust and affection.

]]> By: Ed http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4234 Ed Mon, 28 Feb 2005 11:03:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4234 Personally I don't judge adulterers. I just feel sorry for them. It's a shame that so many married couples have dysfunctional sex lives. In my view truly great sex can only be experienced within marriage (or long term partnership). But then I suppose given my site name I would say that, wouldn't I! Personally I don’t judge adulterers. I just feel sorry for them. It’s a shame that so many married couples have dysfunctional sex lives.

In my view truly great sex can only be experienced within marriage (or long term partnership).

But then I suppose given my site name I would say that, wouldn’t I!

]]> By: Muse http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4240 Muse Mon, 28 Feb 2005 09:18:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4240 Her EMR could have been written about a marriage too - all too often men don't "connect" with their other half other than when they want sex. Mostly sounds like both she and her extra-man have different expectations as to what the EMR is all about: he just wanted a sex outlet, she wants and *intimacy* outlet. HUGE difference. Figleaf, I agree - someone you know works out better, at least so far for me. I've done the whirlwind crash and burn internet thing, but I've now found a comfortable place where I had known him (TOM, actually, from a comment above) for 16 years even before things progressed and where I didn't have to break up my family. Her EMR could have been written about a marriage too - all too often men don’t “connect” with their other half other than when they want sex. Mostly sounds like both she and her extra-man have different expectations as to what the EMR is all about: he just wanted a sex outlet, she wants and *intimacy* outlet. HUGE difference. Figleaf, I agree - someone you know works out better, at least so far for me. I’ve done the whirlwind crash and burn internet thing, but I’ve now found a comfortable place where I had known him (TOM, actually, from a comment above) for 16 years even before things progressed and where I didn’t have to break up my family.

]]> By: figleaf http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4239 figleaf Mon, 28 Feb 2005 07:40:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4239 Thanks for the post, Baccus. It's nice to include consideration of the extra dimensions of sex from time to time. I'd make three observations about this particular woman's sitation: 1) It sounds like she was having a fine time as long as she kept her affair in cyberspace. 2) It sounds like she confused the semi-fictional world of cyber-sex (where everyone can be above average) and the real world. (Best illustrated, of all places, in the kid's story by Robert McCloskey where Homer Price finds his TV-superhero with his car stuck in a ditch. The convolutions he goes through to convince himself they guy really is a hero, before finally seeing through him, should be required reading for anyone who confuses fantasy-land with reality.) 3) If you're going to have an affair -- worse, a love affair and not just extra-marital sex -- it should probably be with someone you actually know. More to the point, if you're going to (and I'm not saying you should or shouldn't) you at least ought to make sure they're not jerks. I've been toying with the idea of extending Pussy blogging Friday -- a delightful celebration of the flesh (in the most literal sense) -- to something like Saturday or Sunday Non-salacious blogging to reflect on the non-sex side of sexuality. One can't go too far with day-of-the-week allocations, of course, (I mean, Watersports Wednesday, Tie-me-up Tuesday?) On the other hand web traffic usually drops over the weekend so why not? figleaf Thanks for the post, Baccus. It’s nice to include consideration of the extra dimensions of sex from time to time.

I’d make three observations about this particular woman’s sitation:

1) It sounds like she was having a fine time as long as she kept her affair in cyberspace.

2) It sounds like she confused the semi-fictional world of cyber-sex (where everyone can be above average) and the real world. (Best illustrated, of all places, in the kid’s story by Robert McCloskey where Homer Price finds his TV-superhero with his car stuck in a ditch. The convolutions he goes through to convince himself they guy really is a hero, before finally seeing through him, should be required reading for anyone who confuses fantasy-land with reality.)

3) If you’re going to have an affair — worse, a love affair and not just extra-marital sex — it should probably be with someone you actually know. More to the point, if you’re going to (and I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t) you at least ought to make sure they’re not jerks.

I’ve been toying with the idea of extending Pussy blogging Friday — a delightful celebration of the flesh (in the most literal sense) — to something like Saturday or Sunday Non-salacious blogging to reflect on the non-sex side of sexuality. One can’t go too far with day-of-the-week allocations, of course, (I mean, Watersports Wednesday, Tie-me-up Tuesday?) On the other hand web traffic usually drops over the weekend so why not?

figleaf

]]> By: Bacchus http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4233 Bacchus Sun, 27 Feb 2005 14:22:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4233 Huh? Huh?

]]> By: freddie http://www.erosblog.com/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4232 freddie Sun, 27 Feb 2005 13:06:00 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/wp/2005/02/27/on-the-dubious-pleasures-of-adultery/#comment-4232 Gosh. Maybe time to rethink what you are doing... Gosh. Maybe time to rethink what you are doing…

]]>