Comments on: A Pornographer Who Gets It

By: Trixie

Trixie — Thu, 05 May 2005 13:56:00 +0000

I see where Donny is coming from (and I know he likes my webwhore manifesto so he can’t be TOTALLY against some of us using the word “whore”), and appreciate that many of us are tired of hearing the same tired old insulting terms bandied around to describe women in porn.

I agree that there’s nothing wrong with women being sexual, and we shouldn’t be denigrated for our sexuality. I also think there’s nothing wrong with women CAPITALIZING on their sexuality, which is exactly what being a whore entails.

The word “whore” by itself TO ME is a positive word, because it means sex worker. It’s unfortunate that most people spit out the term like it’s an ugly horrible subhuman thing to be. It’s the old “not what you do, it’s the way that you do it” thing. The word “whore” isn’t a bad thing, it’s the way most people say it that’s ugly and vicious. It totally depends on the context.

Count me in the reclamation crowd . . . I think it’s important for some of us to call ourselves whores and to do so with pride. I do not want the people who use the term disparagingly to be the ones to define the term . . . let us whores define ourselves!

By: Bacchus

Bacchus — Thu, 05 May 2005 12:21:00 +0000

Doxy, I got in trouble with Eden back when she was calling herself “Dirty Whore” on this same topic. I guess I’m not really talking about what women choose to call themselves, I’m talking about what men choose to call women. And I’ve yet to come across a male pornographer who means anything good by the word “slut”. In my experience, men who use that word despise sexual women. (Of course I haven’t met all the men in the world. But I’ve never met a counterexample, not once.)

I’m conflicted about this because, on the one hand, I hate the sort of double standard that makes it OK for a word like “nigger” to be used by a traditional target of the epithet, but not by anyone else. On the other hand, I hate political correctness that keeps people from labeling themselves as they please.

To an extent, words mean what we pay them to mean. If you use “slut” without meaning anything bad by it, fine for you — but if you think the rest of the world *understands* what you mean, I think you are wrong. It’s kind of like going around calling your refrigerator “the turd locker” — you and your friends may understand what you mean, but there are still going to be many people who won’t want to eat dinner at your house. Are they the narrow-minded ones? I’m not convinced they are. You can’t erase a word’s connotations merely by rejecting them, no matter how much you would like to.

I first heard this debate when I was hanging around with pagans, who would argue whether it was worthwhile to try and “reclaim” the word “witch”. They’ve had, I think, some success; but I’m not sure how much. “Slut” has a lot further to go, and my other three examples (“cunt”, “whore”, and “bitch” ) have considerably further to go than “slut”.

By: Doxy

Doxy — Thu, 05 May 2005 05:16:00 +0000

As someone who wholly embraces the slut moniker, I am unable to think of the word as a negative. In fact, when I hear it in a negative context it�s genuinely amusing � like hearing someone use a vernacular from an antique age.

I think that being sex-positive individuals means we employ a different relationship with sexually charged language than other people do and we just don�t identify with those who use sex terms as bad things.

But then again, I have long been accused of selling out the sisterhood for enjoying my profession.

Dox

By: Stanley

Stanley — Wed, 04 May 2005 16:34:00 +0000

Right on! Yeah, I don’t know who most of this stuff is written for. I worked for some of the people who write it, and none of them actually speak or think like that. They just somehow think that’s what people want. And it is just so boring. Sex is a wonderful and interesting thing, and porn might just as well appeal to intelligent people. And luckily some of it does, but it can sometimes be hard to find within the garbage.

By: Jyl

Jyl — Tue, 03 May 2005 05:11:00 +0000

I’m like Tieme-n-spankme. I try to think of the words as compliments rather than insults. Sort of like how many women have embraced the word bitch as a compliment.

However, I do think many of those sites are very disrespectful and I do not like going to sites that treat women like that. Although staged, I totally dislike the BangBus series because it reinforces the stereotype that women who enjoy sex are bad and deserve to be treated like that.

By: arkd

arkd — Mon, 02 May 2005 16:41:00 +0000

I applause this post with both hands

By: John

John — Mon, 02 May 2005 16:35:00 +0000

I am completly with you on this.
Followed your site for ages from Australia. Sex is fun and when sites bag those involved, it is a turn off.

Sick of this “slut paid for cash”,stuff. Reckon a site that spoke of “love” might be an improvement.

All the best from “up top” and not downunder,always
John