DTG xxoo

You are kidding yourself if you think this fools a man.

Theoretical or not, though, it still seems to me that it would be very tough for a guy to even *try* to take ownership if he’s with a woman who gives him bogus feedback. In order to be responsible (even partially) for something, you’ve got to have access to accurate data about it. To keep flogging the business analogy, would it make sense to make someone responsible for an enterprise while simultaneously feeding them bad data about the success of the enterprise? I think not. But, as you point out, that’s not really your situation; instead, you’re dealing with someone who never expressed any managerial ambition in the first place.

It’s not that I feel it “necessary” to own his orgasms. It just happens like that—I do a lot to help him get hard, stay hard, and come. He gets tons of oral, for example, because I happen to love to give it, I love to make him come like that. The hip-cranking is another example—he loves it and will often beg me NOT to do it if he doesn’t want to come yet, but when he’s ready, I turn that on for him.

The point was that he doesn’t feel any need to reciprocate. He doesn’t do much to make me come. He gives a bit of foreplay to lube me up, but that’s all, and if I were cynical, which I’m not, I could say that’s for his benefit. He just leaves the orgasm up to me and I just wish sometimes that he’d help me. Like this time, when I had to come on my own and couldn’t, for once. Does this make any sense at all?

DTG xxoo

Hi, DTG. I consider “to fake or not to fake” one of those intensely situational things — pretty hard to question by somebody who wasn’t there. I agree that your question about the relative virtues is far more interesting.

On the narrower point about the orgasm in question, however, I found quite fascinating the context in which DTG bemoaned his failure to “own” her orgasms in the way that she feels it necessary to own his. A valid complaint in the abstract, but doesn’t it seem that she claimed ownership with eight bloody Marines and a flag on a pointy pole when she misled him about it?

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with “the little white lie” if a woman is willing to go there. But even little white lies have consequences, and it seems unfair to me to hold the other party responsible for something you are actively misleading them about. Maybe it makes sense in woman logic, but to a man, that’s a headshaker and a half.

The point of my post was not THAT I faked but WHY, and in my own defence, I will repeat that I do not make a habit of faking since I’m normally multi-orgasmic.

This was an isolated incident that threw into sharp relief some issues that I thought were worth considering in the context of marriage. I’m grateful that some readers at least didn’t gag at the idea of faking and did consider the complex issues I raised about the relative values of honesty, kindness, and sacrifice.

DTG xxoo