Comments on: Crapping All Over Beauty

By: Brewer

Brewer — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:43:36 +0000

I realise this is wahaay too late to really count, but I’d like to add a comment on this interesting subject.

I agree that some men may insult an attractive woman as a sideways jab at the men that find her attractive. It can also be partly a manifestation of some frustration - for example, I often find myself looking at a picture of a woman who is simply ‘not my type’, yet other guys may lust after her - and I don’t get it. So my response may be ‘are you serious? Her eyebrows are far too thin’ or ‘her legs are too short’ or some other ridiculously offensive comment which has been exaggerated merely to try and counter the fervour with which other guys are drooling at her. I’m not proud of this, of course, it’s just something I’ve noticed myself doing.

Another issue here, is that some guys (even nice guys like me) really can’t bear the thought of the perfect, confident woman living a perfect confident life and not even giving us a second look. It’s really very sad. So if I see a woman who at first glance is absolutely stunning, everything I ever desired in a woman, every physical and (apparently) emotional attribute I ever found breathtaking, I find myself looking for the flaw. The flaw is the only comfort to me in knowing that this otherwise perfect creature won’t be in my life. I think we (as humans) do it with every missed opportunity, to comfort ourselves that the loss wasn’t so great.

Beautiful women are so desirable to us men that it almost hurts, and to accept the fact that they will probably go off and find handsome millionaires to have children with, and barely even notice we ‘normal guys’ exist, is a constant kick in the guts.

So, if you are a beautiful woman who has been the subject of insults, I implore you, don’t take them personally - they are often born out of our jealousy and sadness. If we met you in the street we would fall in love with you.

By: Gabe

Gabe — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:19:00 +0000

If I may jump a little late into the conversation, I wonder if some of this may result from homophobia as well. If a guy is admitting to being turned on by a woman, and another guy agrees and they both admit to each other they are turned on by a woman, then they may see that as having shared a sexual experience. The second guy may lash out in an effort to remove himself from this potentially homoerotic experience.

Just a thought.

Wonderful discussion everyone. I enjoyed reading it.

By: wintergirl17

wintergirl17 — Sun, 25 Dec 2005 08:34:00 +0000

I’m a woman who games–you can just imagine some of the guys around me, eh? All I can say is the worst offenders on attacking women’s appearences are the ones who not only aren’t getting laid, but have vitually no chance of ever getting laid. It amazes and amuses me to no end, to hear them critique a gorgeous woman they have no shot at, and then declare equally unacceptable the ones they might, if they weren’t such obvious assholes. Sad, really, because their attitude makes it impossible for them to make a real connection with an average woman, and the women who would accept a realtionship with a lack of connection are going to want money or good looks–these guys lack both. Oh, and they are the same folks who talk about gold diggers, while focusing purely on a woman’s appearence, like that’s not the flip side of the same ugly coin. I dunno, for me, it’s darkly funny to listen to them as they are depriving themselves of so much pleasure. I’d clue them in, but why? It’s funnier to watch them suffer. No woman lets loose with a critic in the bed, at least not for long, assuming she ever lets the critic into the bed to begin with.

By: ambrosiangel

ambrosiangel — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 16:17:00 +0000

yuck - criticism is NOT sexy.

By: tajaV

tajaV — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 17:42:00 +0000

Man, I dunno. Seems to me like it’s a little sexist in itself to claim that other men’s feelings are the only reason a man would insult a woman’s appearance. Like, how irrelevant does that render the woman??

As a fairly openly sexual woman, I can attest to a dark part of some men that is compelled to destroy all that jiggly, juicy, uppity, out-of-their-control happy woman flesh. To render it verbally powerless and unimportant. I know that it’s institutionalized somewhat in men bonding over their degradation of women; but isn’t saying that that bonding is the “reason” for the insults, also diminishing to women? Cuz you better believe men talk like that to women, even when other men aren’t around.

Just wondering. I do think it is an interesting idea, as per usual for this blog. :cool:

By: Noel J.

Noel J. — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 10:02:00 +0000

I don’t support open flaming by any means, so I always say that if it’s offensive to your site and community, get rid of it. But if somebody thinks a person’s breasts or body aren’t up to snuff and wants to say as much in their comment, I don’t see anything wrong with that, either. I didn’t think her body looked good at all, and I don’t think she’s pretty. Granted, I didn’t say anything and I didn’t read the comments of those who did (I tend to care more about what the regular posters have to say than what the comments have to say about -that,-) but as far as I’m concerned, all opinions are worth the space they take up, so long as they aren’t purely in the spirit of hurtfulness.

By: Bacchus

Bacchus — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 07:05:00 +0000

“Only” reason? You made up that word “only”.

I never said this was an “only reason”, I merely argue that it’s a potential reason.

Geez, folks, it feels like half this thread is attacking different arguments than the one I actually made.

By: Da Goddess

Da Goddess — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 10:12:00 +0000

Serious lack of social skills cause people to have irrational outbursts.

Yes, when one writes in public spaces such as weblogs, a thick skin is necessary. If the writing involves sex or parts of bodies, dress in layers and put on the headphones.

My recent photos had the opposite effect. I posted the photos and people were too shocked to comment. Hell, they were afraid to look at the whole thing.

The only constant in any equation is that you’ll never please everyone. You pretty much need to face reality on that one and move on.

By: Tony Comstock

Tony Comstock — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 17:33:00 +0000

Marty lived happily ever after.

By: jherazob

jherazob — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 15:08:00 +0000

Ah, forgot to add, the concept is great to deal much much better with those “rather traumatic for a few minutes (ok, maybe hours…)” in a good way that helps prevent it from being traumatic, so it’s great to deal with those asshole trolls.