You ask: “…does anyone have any pointers on how to enhance my spankings?”

Er… Do you mean like tie your wrists to your ankles and a blindfold across your eyes? …or do with a fully inserted butt plug? …or maybe try it in front of an audience of friends or strangers? …or have a group (either all girls, or all guys, or mixed genders…)hold you down? …or slather your cheeks with peppermint oil or menthol? …or do it in front of a video camera? …or maybe a combination of all of the above in the same session? …or blog about it afterward on Erosblog?

Does it feel good? Yes? Then what’s the problem?

Imagine getting over the taboo, coming to terms with the fact that parents and peers might not approve if they knew, finding a partner you can trust, discovering an activity you really enjoy… and then being told you only enjoy it because you’ve been socially conditioned that way.

Not only is this patronising, I think it misses the point. If it’s enjoyable, who cares how that particular pattern got woven into your brain?

They can fight the feminist fight, sure, but if there’s indoctrination going on then attack that at source, and leave us brainwashed, downtrodden women to enjoy a good spanking.

I am a feminist. I say so unashamedly. I’m a feminist who loves to be tied up with a six foot bullwhip and flogged with it as my partner orders me to suck his cock. This took some getting used to because of the big gender role issues it pushed for me.

But I’m still a strong woman, I still kick ass and no one does ANYTHING to me without my consent. Feminism is my consent.

I get hit from both sides for what I do (namely my sex writing) and who I am as a sexual submissive. This used to infuriate me. Now I just do my own thing and happily so. Cause in the end, I’m the only one whose opinion counts.

And I love to hit the “submit” button

*blush*

It happens. “My bad,” to quote the lamest idiom of the last decade.

Steff, where’d that come from? Nobody here’s arguing that free choices are always good ones. We’re talking here about people (claiming to be feminists) who assert that women lack the ability to *make* free choices. If you value liberty, you can’t be claiming that folks lack the ability to freely choose; you can’t be claiming that their apparent choices weren’t really free. When they say “I chose this, so fuck off” you can’t be saying “No, really, you didn’t choose it, you’re not competant or capable enough to make that choice.”

Self-righteous knee-jerk folks, regardless of their affiliations, make me grow a big wet one. Seriously.

Murders happen, rapes happen, crime happens, genocides happen, and they all stem from free choice.

I’m not stating I agree with SOME feminists’ assertions that submitting to BDSM ergo is flying in the face of advances made by women in the last three decades, because that’s out and out bullshit. I’m simply stating I think the argument could hold more water than it seems it is.

But yes, it’s getting to be a further afield discussion of your argument’s merits, but I simply wanted to state that CHOICE does not equate intelligence.

These people arguing against others’ choices in areas that hurts no one but themselves, and only in a “leisure” way (that perhaps some of us cannot relate to) is certainly as offensive as those who would judge another’s sexual preferences based solely on a book written a couple thousand years ago.

I don’t know when people will start judging their own behaviour first, and worrying about others’ later. I don’t know when it became more important to focus on others’ lifestyles than our own. (And you look at some of these vacuous existences led by these so-called activists trying to speak to the greater good, and you see why they need to focus their attentions on others. Sigh.)

But I’ll always, always define myself as a feminist. Just not THAT kind of one. They give me a bad fucking name, and I, for one, really resent it.

Let’s not get too far afield, folks — remember this is a sex blog after all.