Comments on: Sexual Science

By: Dr. Whiplash

Dr. Whiplash — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 07:57:48 +0000

Reading this made me think about the millions of men out there who would gladly pay about a week’s salary to have some woman tie them down and piss on their faces with a “complete lack of emotion and romance”.

I’ll also bet there are countless women who wish that their man would ejaculate copiously on their chests in a similar manner.

Sometimes you want to make love to your woman, and make it last as long as you possibly can, and then sometimes you just want to give her a quick pearl necklace.

I expect the same sort of behavior from my woman, and I wouldn’t question it either way.

…just an observation…

By: tamara

tamara — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 09:05:00 +0000

As someone who’s been a sex worker for years, I can actually say lots of men really are shamed into being horrified of themselves by their partners. It drove me CRAZY when I saw it. Some men had been so shamed by premature ejaculation that they were like kicked puppies. Sexual power is NOT only in the hands of men!

I was always shocked when a guy would tell me his wife would NEVER… give a blowjob, allow a pearl necklace, or some other harmless thing like that. I mean to me, it’s actually far more challenging to swallow than to have cum on your tits, especially if we are not talking about tasty cum (which based on her blog, she is not!). Cum on your tits, you wipe off. Cum in your mouth, you hafta figure out a way to swallow! Which, if the taste is awful, is not always easy! (For me, it’s best if the cum is shot straight down my throat. You get a tiny taste!)

Honestly, I used to have to guide guys into doing the things I LOVE to do (and that I know they want to do too!) because they were far too cowed and scared to ask. Every once in a blue moon I’d meet a guy who was, in my mind, a mysoginist… but the vast majority of my clients loved women and were desperate for some guidance and some acceptance and had been so busy bending over backwards to please the women who snap the whip to keep them in line, they’d never had any damned fun. It’s frankly depressing to think about. It makes me want to start whoring again NOW. (I am taking a break.)

Humiliation CAN be sex-positive if it is what a person (male/female) wants, enjoys, and finds empowering and liberating. I know several people who enjoy it, and I’m friends with a woman who gives classes on erotic humiliation which are always packed to the gills. I’m much more comfortable when people don’t say “THAT cannot be” whatever adjective you choose. Yes, it can. If it’s not for you, that’s ok. But ah, the judgement! I am the most judgemental person when it comes to some things, but I’ve learned to at least *try* to be open to the sexuality of other people.

Of course, I wouldn’t expect openness from someone in denial about what she is writing in her “semen taste tests!” :) The way to change the many, many bad things about the porn industry is by admitting that you ARE posting porn, your own way, with your own control, in an empowering way for you… not by denying it. Just like all the other thousands and thousands of amateur girls (like me) amateur writers (like me) who are creating their OWN porn instead of allowing the mainstream porn industry to be IT.

Hmmm, I think I’m gonna go ask my husband to cum on my tits now. ;)

By: GL

GL — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 11:11:00 +0000

Well I definately picked up on Ava’s feeling that her boyfriend was being crass and unromantic when he said he wanted to cum on her tits.

By: scribe called steff

scribe called steff — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 10:22:00 +0000

Ava — Well, I have to say, if the guy ONLY said things in that tone, I’d be up one side of him and down the other sooner or later.

I don’t mind the intermittent crassness, because I know my guy doesn’t exclusively think in those terms.

There’s a balance.

And yes, clarity would be good. (smirk) It’s hard to always nail the clarity thing. I know I still need to clarify my stance on “polyamory” from last month. That’s the devil of blogging — instant publishing means haphazard editing, and things fly under our radars.

Anyhow, I didn’t link to you in my posting because I wasn’t sure you meant to be as negative as it sounded — but it gave me good fodder for writing anyhow. Better luck next time. :)

By: Bacchus

Bacchus — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 12:14:00 +0000

Interesting question, Ava, and we might hear from some female readers on it. I dunno, though, if there’s any way to separate the “were female readers better able to pick up your intended tone?” question from the basic Mars-Venus issue. I’m speculating that you thought the disrepect that informed your anecdote was self-evident, whereas male me assumed (from the reported verbal exchange) the standard male semi-humorous sexual opportunism, which here on Mars is actally understood to be complimentary.

By: Ava

Ava — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 11:06:00 +0000

The fault of lack of clarity is always on the writer in my opinion, so I’ll accept blame for not being clear. Tone and context are definitely hard to convey in writing since you lack any sort of objectivity. I certainly *thought* I was clear.

I was wondering, however, if some of this might be related to the sex of the reader. Would my tone be clearer to female readers than male readers? Not saying it is, but it’s worth considering.

Thanks again for the comments.

Ava

By: Ava

Ava — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 10:14:00 +0000

Thanks for your thoughts, Steff. I just need to learn to write with more clarity.

As to your experiences, I guess I can’t really relate to where you are coming from, but that may just be cultural/social differences. I don’t consider it a lack of tact when a guy says something like “So, we gonna fuck tonight?” so much as a lack of emotional connection. Sure, pure unbridled fucking is cool at times, but even that flows from the relationship we have.

I don’t even know if I can verbalize what I’m trying to say, which is frustrating in its own right.