Comments on: Sex Bias In Blogging http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/ Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality Sat, 11 Feb 2012 07:00:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Itinwi http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-7020 Itinwi Sun, 13 Aug 2006 16:29:24 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-7020 "If a woman writes about sex, holy fuck do the boys go wild. If a guy writes about sex, what’s the big deal? Men are always thinking about sex and hitting on women, right?" I don't buy that argument... because I doubt that if a great woman blogger like Susie Bright DID check her tip jar and her counters closely, she'd find many many more women were reading her than men. The sad fact (and by fact, I mean, trend I observed or pretended to observe that is far from a fact and more like a hunch) is that men are nearly absent from the sex positive world. If not absent, silent. There are few "guy" writers out there, and fewer still that are any good. I've been writing an anonymous sex blog for about a year now, and though I have plenty of subscribers and have gotten plenty of good comments and feed-backs from it, they have been decidedly female. Another interesting thing I've noticed, that may also be utter bullshit, is that when guys ARE writing in a sex-positive way, they're essentially writing AS women, meaning, they are taking a very female voice. If one is to believe men are different than women (and why not? It seems about right) why aren't we getting the male perspective on sex presented in an honest way? This doesn't mean demeaning terms and vulgarity, but it does mean owning up to the things men really like, why we like it, what appeals to us, the WHY WHY WHY's of sex, and not just what we think women want to hear. This isn't to say that I don't love and respect the great many female sex writers, and the great work that female sex thinkers have done... I would just love to see more men out there taking an active role in the sex positive world. Also... every problem in the sex positive world will be fixed when I've finished my book on "guys" and sex and relationships, and it gets published, and everyone becomes free to speak and think and fuck openly. Yes, the book is THAT good, and it's only in its third draft. hehe. “If a woman writes about sex, holy fuck do the boys go wild. If a guy writes about sex, what’s the big deal? Men are always thinking about sex and hitting on women, right?”

I don’t buy that argument… because I doubt that if a great woman blogger like Susie Bright DID check her tip jar and her counters closely, she’d find many many more women were reading her than men.

The sad fact (and by fact, I mean, trend I observed or pretended to observe that is far from a fact and more like a hunch) is that men are nearly absent from the sex positive world. If not absent, silent. There are few “guy” writers out there, and fewer still that are any good. I’ve been writing an anonymous sex blog for about a year now, and though I have plenty of subscribers and have gotten plenty of good comments and feed-backs from it, they have been decidedly female.

Another interesting thing I’ve noticed, that may also be utter bullshit, is that when guys ARE writing in a sex-positive way, they’re essentially writing AS women, meaning, they are taking a very female voice. If one is to believe men are different than women (and why not? It seems about right) why aren’t we getting the male perspective on sex presented in an honest way? This doesn’t mean demeaning terms and vulgarity, but it does mean owning up to the things men really like, why we like it, what appeals to us, the WHY WHY WHY’s of sex, and not just what we think women want to hear.

This isn’t to say that I don’t love and respect the great many female sex writers, and the great work that female sex thinkers have done… I would just love to see more men out there taking an active role in the sex positive world.

Also… every problem in the sex positive world will be fixed when I’ve finished my book on “guys” and sex and relationships, and it gets published, and everyone becomes free to speak and think and fuck openly. Yes, the book is THAT good, and it’s only in its third draft. hehe.

]]> By: Tantalus http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6905 Tantalus Sun, 06 Aug 2006 07:14:27 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6905 I don't think it is that men are afraid to talk about the subject. men won't be ridiculed for talking about sex in the locker room or around other men. but it is the manner in which it is said that is different. Men and Women describe things differently in different social situations. not just differently from each other but what a man would say in one place would be said completely differently in a different place. Towards a fully male audience. I would use vulgar language and lewd descriptions and demeaning terms. while in an effeminate audience I would be as sensitive as possible about the same subject. men are not afraid of being ridiculed because they talk about sex. men are afraid of being ridiculed for the way they talk about sex. I don’t think it is that men are afraid to talk about the subject. men won’t be ridiculed for talking about sex in the locker room or around other men. but it is the manner in which it is said that is different. Men and Women describe things differently in different social situations. not just differently from each other but what a man would say in one place would be said completely differently in a different place.
Towards a fully male audience. I would use vulgar language and lewd descriptions and demeaning terms. while in an effeminate audience I would be as sensitive as possible about the same subject.
men are not afraid of being ridiculed because they talk about sex. men are afraid of being ridiculed for the way they talk about sex.

]]> By: Soulless Breedlove http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6841 Soulless Breedlove Thu, 03 Aug 2006 17:27:02 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6841 I just don't believe for a minute that there is some large heretofore unknown group of men afraid to blog for fear of being called a pussy. In the right setting, nearly any man will frankly, openly, possibly even boastfully talk about relationships, sexual and otherwise. Many female partners in an extramarital affair will attest to this. Many men in locker rooms will attest to this. Have a listen to what people talk about in bars. And, some men don't talk at all. About anything. You could say the same for some women. Yep, men and women are biologically different and are socialized differently. Stop being a victim of this. Be sexy. Enjoy each other. I just don’t believe for a minute that there is some large heretofore unknown group of men afraid to blog for fear of being called a pussy.

In the right setting, nearly any man will frankly, openly, possibly even boastfully talk about relationships, sexual and otherwise. Many female partners in an extramarital affair will attest to this. Many men in locker rooms will attest to this. Have a listen to what people talk about in bars.

And, some men don’t talk at all. About anything. You could say the same for some women.

Yep, men and women are biologically different and are socialized differently.

Stop being a victim of this.

Be sexy.

Enjoy each other.

]]> By: Tantalus http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6836 Tantalus Thu, 03 Aug 2006 06:31:58 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6836 In my opinion the majority of the hesitance for men to blog about sex comes from the fear of repercussion from their respective others. Most men i know wouldnt mind if their girlfriend or wife talked or blogged about their sexual experiences. while most women i know would feel strongly opposed to their men talking or blogging about their sexual experiences. many women consider it a matter of trust in their respective men. while men dont think of it as a matter of trust. i dont mean to speak for all men. i am speaking through observation. another point to consider is the number of men who read sex blogs. in my experience men are less diverse in their sexual attitudes and interests than women. if more men feel similarly about sex than women, then women have more to talk about while if a man reads a sex blog done by a man then the chances are greater that everything the reading male would say has already been said. In my opinion the majority of the hesitance for men to blog about sex comes from the fear of repercussion from their respective others. Most men i know wouldnt mind if their girlfriend or wife talked or blogged about their sexual experiences. while most women i know would feel strongly opposed to their men talking or blogging about their sexual experiences. many women consider it a matter of trust in their respective men. while men dont think of it as a matter of trust. i dont mean to speak for all men. i am speaking through observation.
another point to consider is the number of men who read sex blogs. in my experience men are less diverse in their sexual attitudes and interests than women. if more men feel similarly about sex than women, then women have more to talk about while if a man reads a sex blog done by a man then the chances are greater that everything the reading male would say has already been said.

]]> By: Soulless Breedlove http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6835 Soulless Breedlove Thu, 03 Aug 2006 05:06:43 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6835 I would argue tha there are significant differences in biology and socialization between men and women. This is not evil. It just is. I think men would rather watch porn and masturbate than take time to think about putting words together. And anyway, the audience I would say determines the success and visibility of a writer, assuming writing quality and aesthetic are similar. If a woman writes about sex, holy fuck do the boys go wild. If a guy writes about sex, what’s the big deal? Men are always thinking about sex and hitting on women, right? I doubt the audience for male sex writers is nearly as large as the audience for female sex writers. Why aren't there more male prostitutes? It's the same question. And yes, I am a resolutely anonymous male blogger who includes emotional issues and sexuallity in his writing. I've never received a cent for any of it. Watch your hit counters. Watch your dollars. There’s your proof. I would argue tha there are significant differences in biology and socialization between men and women. This is not evil. It just is. I think men would rather watch porn and masturbate than take time to think about putting words together.

And anyway, the audience I would say determines the success and visibility of a writer, assuming writing quality and aesthetic are similar.

If a woman writes about sex, holy fuck do the boys go wild. If a guy writes about sex, what’s the big deal? Men are always thinking about sex and hitting on women, right?

I doubt the audience for male sex writers is nearly as large as the audience for female sex writers.

Why aren’t there more male prostitutes? It’s the same question.

And yes, I am a resolutely anonymous male blogger who includes emotional issues and sexuallity in his writing. I’ve never received a cent for any of it.

Watch your hit counters. Watch your dollars. There’s your proof.

]]> By: Nick http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6831 Nick Thu, 03 Aug 2006 03:14:01 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6831 I don't believe that ya would buy into this gender bias bullshit when were in the 21st century and were suppose to be in an era of gender equality and equal on all genders. It seems that susie is living in the stoneage or the victorian area. I believe that men that enforce their male rules are doing it to protect their own and protect themselves. I believe that men should beable to express themselves without being ridiculed because men need to show their human side and not hide behind the so call male code, which i do not buy or subscribe to. I don’t believe that ya would buy into this gender bias bullshit when were in the 21st century and were suppose to be in an era of gender equality and equal on all genders. It seems that susie is living in the stoneage or the victorian area.

I believe that men that enforce their male rules are doing it to protect their own and protect themselves. I believe that men should beable to express themselves without being ridiculed because men need to show their human side and not hide behind the so call male code, which i do not buy or subscribe to.

]]> By: Mikey http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6829 Mikey Thu, 03 Aug 2006 02:46:38 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/02/sex-bias-in-blogging/#comment-6829 Men don't write as much about sexuality because it's more risky. Other men--powerful men, older men--are very unforgiving of sexual deviance in other heterosexual men. Sexual deviance is defined as anything the heroes in R-rated action movies don't do in bed. Gays get a pass these days, like women and blacks, as a strange and untrustworthy, but dangerous, species. Confessing anything remotely homoerotic (even liking Brokeback Mountain) can get you pink monkeyed in a heartbeat. Der Ass is verboten, even if playing with a woman. Men enforce rules on each other that women don't even know exist. Check out how people are dressed in the typical office. Count the number of colors and styles worn by men compared to women. It's about 1:100 ratio. Clothes aren't the only straightjackets men wear (no pun intended). Men don’t write as much about sexuality because it’s more risky. Other men–powerful men, older men–are very unforgiving of sexual deviance in other heterosexual men. Sexual deviance is defined as anything the heroes in R-rated action movies don’t do in bed. Gays get a pass these days, like women and blacks, as a strange and untrustworthy, but dangerous, species.

Confessing anything remotely homoerotic (even liking Brokeback Mountain) can get you pink monkeyed in a heartbeat. Der Ass is verboten, even if playing with a woman.

Men enforce rules on each other that women don’t even know exist. Check out how people are dressed in the typical office. Count the number of colors and styles worn by men compared to women. It’s about 1:100 ratio. Clothes aren’t the only straightjackets men wear (no pun intended).

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