Comments on: Honeymoon Advice For Mormon Virgins http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/ Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality Fri, 9 Jan 2009 07:35:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Arnold http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6939 Arnold Tue, 08 Aug 2006 23:47:22 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6939 As far as oral sex goes, the Mormon church did forbid it during a short period of time in the 1980s. Apparently some members had complained about what their partners were requesting. Several months later, the policy was changed after enough member complained that oral sex was part of "normal sex" for them. The policy now is sort of "don't ask, don't tell" and don't have oral sex if your partner isn't comfortable with it. As far as oral sex goes, the Mormon church did forbid it during a short period of time in the 1980s. Apparently some members had complained about what their partners were requesting. Several months later, the policy was changed after enough member complained that oral sex was part of “normal sex” for them. The policy now is sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and don’t have oral sex if your partner isn’t comfortable with it.

]]> By: REd http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6930 REd Mon, 07 Aug 2006 14:27:33 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6930 Bacchus, Yes I did follow both links and yes I did read what was there. I think voyager's comment enlightened me. I too am quite ignorant of the mormon religion and its requirements(i.e. beliefs). Also I often make sardonic comments about religious rules especially concerning sex, yet I respect every person and their decision to believe what they will. After all, I expect to be called crazy for some of what I believe and when I am I don't feel disrespected. I might have been saved from quite a few embarrassing moments had someone been wise enough to say something to me before... I agree with whomever it was that commended the girl for asking. As curious as virgins can be it's really not too surprising that more of them don't(i.e. aren't able to) ask the questions that will give them the answers which experiance will teach us. Bacchus, Yes I did follow both links and yes I did read what was there. I think voyager’s comment enlightened me. I too am quite ignorant of the mormon religion and its requirements(i.e. beliefs). Also I often make sardonic comments about religious rules especially concerning sex, yet I respect every person and their decision to believe what they will. After all, I expect to be called crazy for some of what I believe and when I am I don’t feel disrespected. I might have been saved from quite a few embarrassing moments had someone been wise enough to say something to me before…
I agree with whomever it was that commended the girl for asking. As curious as virgins can be it’s really not too surprising that more of them don’t(i.e. aren’t able to) ask the questions that will give them the answers which experiance will teach us.

]]> By: Chris W http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6909 Chris W Sun, 06 Aug 2006 08:29:03 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6909 One of my favorite quotes: We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. H. L. Mencken One of my favorite quotes:

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
H. L. Mencken

]]> By: Bacchus http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6901 Bacchus Sun, 06 Aug 2006 04:58:11 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6901 Anonymous, nobody in this thread <strong>has</strong> used the word "uptight" in connection with opinions about premarital sex -- except you. Please don't lecture us about arguments we haven't made. Thank you. Anonymous, nobody in this thread has used the word “uptight” in connection with opinions about premarital sex — except you. Please don’t lecture us about arguments we haven’t made. Thank you.

]]> By: anonymous http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6899 anonymous Sun, 06 Aug 2006 04:26:07 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6899 I don't think its nice to say that people are uptight just because they don't want to have sex before marriage. To me that is just as bad as them saying that you are a slut because you do have sex before marriage. Either way you are judging someone based on something that is really none of your business. I don’t think its nice to say that people are uptight just because they don’t want to have sex before marriage. To me that is just as bad as them saying that you are a slut because you do have sex before marriage. Either way you are judging someone based on something that is really none of your business.

]]> By: AJ http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6878 AJ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 08:03:50 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6878 I have to agree with Voyager, I too am LDS (Mormon) and am getting married next year to the man I so dearly love. We both have had sex prior to each other, but are waiting for marrage to share it with each other. I love oral and so does he. We even talk about a lot of things that I get off erosblog!!! We may not be so into threesomes and such things due to wanting a loving "monogomous" relationship, but even non-religious couples have also chosen that path... we are the same as most people out there. I have to agree with Voyager, I too am LDS (Mormon) and am getting married next year to the man I so dearly love. We both have had sex prior to each other, but are waiting for marrage to share it with each other.
I love oral and so does he. We even talk about a lot of things that I get off erosblog!!! We may not be so into threesomes and such things due to wanting a loving “monogomous” relationship, but even non-religious couples have also chosen that path… we are the same as most people out there.

]]> By: voyager http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6875 voyager Sat, 05 Aug 2006 02:16:11 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6875 Sorry guys, but as entertaining as it might be to think of Mormons (of which I am one) or any other devoutly religious people as sexually up-tight, it's actually no more true than the non-religious population. Responding directly to the above: 1) When you play a sport, you wear the appropriate uniform! That means sexy stuff undies and yes, getting naked. 2) Foreplay - you bet. 3) Oral - personal choice like anyone else. My wife and I vote yes, as I assume most others do, too. 4) Breastfeeding - lift the garment like you would any other undershirt, silly! If you want the complete skinny on what Mormons are taught about intimacy, here it is in a nutshell: Abstinence before marriage, monogomy thereafter. Sex between husband and wife should not include activity that is degrading, unnatural, painful, or disrespectful to either party. Aside from that...have fun! Yes there are prissy, sexually uptight Mormons, and non-Mormons I might add. Poor fools - they don't know what they're missing! Sorry guys, but as entertaining as it might be to think of Mormons (of which I am one) or any other devoutly religious people as sexually up-tight, it’s actually no more true than the non-religious population. Responding directly to the above:

1) When you play a sport, you wear the appropriate uniform! That means sexy stuff undies and yes, getting naked.
2) Foreplay - you bet.
3) Oral - personal choice like anyone else. My wife and I vote yes, as I assume most others do, too.
4) Breastfeeding - lift the garment like you would any other undershirt, silly!

If you want the complete skinny on what Mormons are taught about intimacy, here it is in a nutshell:
Abstinence before marriage, monogomy thereafter. Sex between husband and wife should not include activity that is degrading, unnatural, painful, or disrespectful to either party. Aside from that…have fun!

Yes there are prissy, sexually uptight Mormons, and non-Mormons I might add. Poor fools - they don’t know what they’re missing!

]]> By: Bacchus http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6874 Bacchus Sat, 05 Aug 2006 00:33:18 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6874 Aniria, I'm not sure if you are responding to me or to the more religion-hostile commenters, but I have been *extremely* careful not to "pick on" people who save it for marriage. I especially have *not* opined that it's bad to be virgin on one's wedding night. I'm not convinced it's *good*, but I can and do respect that choice. Nonetheless, the choice does affect ("impinge on" was the phrase I used) sexual life. And I do believe that the religious encouragement to stay a virgin often has negative consequences, one of which is needless sexual ignorance, leading sometimes to disappointment and unhappiness or worse. But these consequences could be, and sometimes are, mitigated by decent sex education or (as in your case) positive family attitudes about sex. Let me be very clear: I'm not against religion, but I am unutterably hostile to ignorance and repression. Some religious people with an anti-sex agenda use both repression and ignorance as tools of control, in the process utterly destroying any hope of sexual happiness for young members of their faith. To that, I'm opposed. Aniria, I’m not sure if you are responding to me or to the more religion-hostile commenters, but I have been *extremely* careful not to “pick on” people who save it for marriage. I especially have *not* opined that it’s bad to be virgin on one’s wedding night. I’m not convinced it’s *good*, but I can and do respect that choice.

Nonetheless, the choice does affect (”impinge on” was the phrase I used) sexual life. And I do believe that the religious encouragement to stay a virgin often has negative consequences, one of which is needless sexual ignorance, leading sometimes to disappointment and unhappiness or worse. But these consequences could be, and sometimes are, mitigated by decent sex education or (as in your case) positive family attitudes about sex.

Let me be very clear: I’m not against religion, but I am unutterably hostile to ignorance and repression. Some religious people with an anti-sex agenda use both repression and ignorance as tools of control, in the process utterly destroying any hope of sexual happiness for young members of their faith. To that, I’m opposed.

]]> By: Chris W http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6873 Chris W Fri, 04 Aug 2006 22:37:56 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6873 Sure, but I thought a principal goal of theirs is to keep couples married for life. In my opinion, good oral sex skills are a vital tool to help with that goal. Has anyone here read that sex manual mentioned in their discussion "The Act of Marriage" by LaHaye? It might be interesting. Sure, but I thought a principal goal of theirs is to keep couples married for life. In my opinion, good oral sex skills are a vital tool to help with that goal. Has anyone here read that sex manual mentioned in their discussion “The Act of Marriage” by LaHaye? It might be interesting.

]]> By: Aniria http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6872 Aniria Fri, 04 Aug 2006 22:31:45 +0000 http://www.erosblog.com/2006/08/04/honeymoon-advice-for-mormon-virgins/#comment-6872 Being both a avid reader of Eros Blog and once a virgin bride, I must disagree with the notion that it is a bad thing to be a virgin on your wedding night. Even though I grew up in a religious Christian family, there was never the implication that sex was bad. We were told that sex was good, but that it should be saved for marriage. Masturbation was never discussed (which is pretty commom even among non-religious families), but I have never felt guitly about it either. I don't think that having sex with only one person for "as long as you both shall live" equals a dull sex life. I love having sex with my husband, we are always open to trying new things, and there is no guilt about it whatsoever. Of course my wedding night was kind of akward, and neither of us knew for sure how to go about things... but I think it's the same for everyone on their first time. At least we didn't have to feel embarrassed about having no previous experience (as some of my friends told me they were), and we knew that even if it wasn't really good the first time we'd have a life-time to improve it. So really, stop picking on people who save it for marriage (and on the religions that promotes this). It does not mean we are against sex... it only means we value it so much we want to share it with someone really special. (In my case, it doesn't even mean I'm against porn...). Being both a avid reader of Eros Blog and once a virgin bride, I must disagree with the notion that it is a bad thing to be a virgin on your wedding night.

Even though I grew up in a religious Christian family, there was never the implication that sex was bad. We were told that sex was good, but that it should be saved for marriage. Masturbation was never discussed (which is pretty commom even among non-religious families), but I have never felt guitly about it either.

I don’t think that having sex with only one person for “as long as you both shall live” equals a dull sex life. I love having sex with my husband, we are always open to trying new things, and there is no guilt about it whatsoever.

Of course my wedding night was kind of akward, and neither of us knew for sure how to go about things… but I think it’s the same for everyone on their first time. At least we didn’t have to feel embarrassed about having no previous experience (as some of my friends told me they were), and we knew that even if it wasn’t really good the first time we’d have a life-time to improve it.

So really, stop picking on people who save it for marriage (and on the religions that promotes this). It does not mean we are against sex… it only means we value it so much we want to share it with someone really special. (In my case, it doesn’t even mean I’m against porn…).

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