‘Don’t worry, I can do it in under a minute.’ ‘Yes, I’ve noticed.’

If women weren’t so intent on setting dim “mood” lighting, or “doing it” in total dark because they are insecure about their body, men could get a good look at the mechanics of the snap, and figure out how to work it properly.

When I was a very young teen, I had already heard about fumbling with the hooks before I myself was presented with the problem personally. I therefore promptly went to the lingerie department of my local “catalog” store, examined a couple of brassieres, and planned my “attack”.

Sure enough, the first time I got a chance to head for second and third base (as we called it back then), I was inside with a single fluid move of a one-handed pinch. Thinking that I had just avoided that awkward, unsexy interruption of that beautiful moment of being carried away by each other’s overwhelming desire for each other, I was secretly quite proud of myself… until my date indignantly accused me of being an obviously experienced lothario.

She was wrong, I was still a virgin. That’s why we fumble ladies. We’ve learned that you prefer it.