“Gee Wally, look at the bathroom in this magazine ad. A guy could play full-court basketball in there!”

Personally I never lived in a home where one could put both a bar stool and a Scandinavian-style woven jute webbing lounge chair in the room and still have room to break wind.

As for the eyebrows comment, I have to admit I tend to side with Bacopa a bit on that one. As a child, there was a woman in my neighborhood who had plucked her eyebrows a bit too enthusiastically and had to draw them on. She always placed them so high above her eyes that she looked like some kid with a sling-shot just managed to get a large ice cube past her sphincter.

Unfortunately many young girls don’t realize that plucked eyebrows just once don’t always grow back… ever! …and the more you pluck them, the more likely it will be that they won’t. They try to model themselves after some actress, pop tart, or runway waif that’s currently popular and a few months down the road the eyebrow look changes a bit and it’s too late for them.

When Natalie Portman was younger she had great brows, and she knew how to use them!

That’s what I miss about the 80s. The eyebrows. Women could express concern, shock, anger, and simple flat-browed lust. I grew up on the thicker, more expressive browline. Brooke Shields is just a few years older than me. I do not like today’s thin arch which creates a costant impression of aloofness or mild surprise. Women today are made to look like some kind of medieval saint from an old painting.

Give me Brooke. Give me all those 80s video chicks who shaped my early adolescence. Give me the young women of my youth now entering middle age still capapable of expressing their true feelings by forrowing or flattening their brows. Madonna had it pretty thick when she sang “Express Yourself”, and thus she was able to wxpress herself. Women today are less lucky, less empowered, and so are to me less attractive.

Imagine blue towel woman was plucked to a thin arch: We wouldn’t be able to discern she really liked the towel and might be open to other activities,

Can I borrow your towel?
My car just hit a water buffalo, and I…