Comments on: Personal Hygiene Tips From Venus

By: Dave

Dave — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:01:29 +0000

YUP, lean to the left and go in from the back. I have had surgery there a few times so I go back after ten minutes and wipe again to make sure nothing has snuck out again. Then I know I am good until next time.

By: m'kaaay...

m'kaaay... — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 05:22:31 +0000

A little saliva spit onto a clean piece of TP will help in a pinch–and the viscosity actually keeps the paper from shredding the way it can with plain water. Doesn’t leave you feeling slimy like moist wipes can, either.

Although everyone I’ve mentioned this to seems inordinately grossed out at the idea. WTF?

By: Benjamin

Benjamin — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:05:51 +0000

Personally, for the first wipe, I lean forward and to the left and hold the paper in my right hand. Then I rise to a squatting position for subsequent passes, and yes, I continue until the paper comes back as clean as it started out. At home, I tend to do my business first thing in the morning, wipe once, and get in the shower.

I would sit and wipe the entire time, but it’s somewhat painful. I weigh 350 lb and I’m not nearly as flexible as I should be. I have been known to stand up and bend forward at the waist, which helps ’spread things out’ but doesn’t have porcelain blockage issues.

And I have to disagree with the baby-wipes suggestion. They always leave me feeling, well, un-wiped.

By: Bh

Bh — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:53:56 +0000

Not to hijack the thread, but the new vs old toilets and the “lean to the left” reminds me: Am I the only one who has broken one of these new cheap toilet seats in normal use?

I think there is something wrong but not sure what. I do wonder about folks paying $200k for the house, $20k for appliances and TV. Tricked out bath, except, what’s with the flimsy “padded” plastic toilet seat? You know, the ones that stick to your butt like plastic seat covers? That always seem a bit loose? The Yugo of bathroom equipment?

Perhaps there’s a little adhesion between seat and cheek, then a swivel to reach the roll of paper or a jerky sidewards move into that lean-to-wipe pose, and “snap!” goes the, uh…”hardware.” Sometimes I think a poorly timed sneeze would do it.

I remember houses having wood seats and metal hardware, often brass, and the seat had hard rubber pads that didn’t slide when rested on the rim. Never broke one in my first 40 years. But I killed close to a handful of these home store economy versions.

Look, I don’t know if it’s the the cheap plastic seat coverings adhering to our flesh more as we economize on air conditioning, or if the seats slide around on the bowl tops and over-stress the hinges (the pads are more like ice cubes than non-slip rubber pucks) or if the new hinges are just too weak. They do make “quality” plastic seats that have supports that don’t encourage sideways slide, and hinges of more substance (metal or plastic). You can get the brass and wood, too. But the cheap plastic ones… are they kind of disposable? Or is it poor bathroom layout of the bowl vs paper roll? Maybe one of those “free standing” roll holders (purchased or kludged from a plunger set) will eliminate having to all but reach behind you to grab a fresh handful of paper.

Or have I lost the necessary finess of the powder room?

(Folks in earlier responses said they noticed the main topic being spread to other blogs. Feel encouraged to spread this aspect to appropriate sites if you’ve “been there.” Thanks)

By: ahmad

ahmad — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:54:05 +0000

Wipe! Crap!

When will you learn to use water before wiping!!

The lack of water in European, American, and almost everybody else’s toilets is a huge assblowing experience for every middle eastern the first time they’re exposed to it.

Those of you who’ve been to the region must have noticed the extra widget in toilet equipment, a fountain, a hose, or even a bucket and mug

Out streets may not be the cleanest, but middle eastern ass shines

Probably because “estamos en el culo del mundo”

;)

By: Adriana

Adriana — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:14:25 +0000

Too funny. I am female and I stand - go in from behind. I make two different passes if 1 and 2 are involved, as my technique requires. I have quite the short arms, however; going in from the front is damned nearly impossible. I have never once had poo go anywhere it wasn’t meant to, standing.

By: Lucre

Lucre — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:57:29 +0000

I must say, I can’t imagine how enormous your package must be if you absolutely cannot reach in from the front. I typically cup my man-bits in my left hand while wiping with the right; my arms cross slightly, since I hold my stuff to the right. I think I usually lift the left cheek just a little, but I can’t confirm that until I actually poop. The important thing to me is that going in from the front lets you keep everything over the bowl while you check - in case the paper slips from your hand or one of the specks of poo D was talking about makes a run for it. While I’ve certainly thought about the cleanliness aspects of what MM’s saying, the mechanics basically developed subconsciously - I might never have realized exactly what I was doing or why until I read this.