Fuck The Bell Curve
I owe Susie Bright for twittering a link to Emily Nagoski: Sex Nerd. It’s rare these days for me to find a sex blog that just keeps me reading, post after post. This is one of those rare blogs. Here’s part of Emily’s polemic against “normal” sex:
This is a nerd polemic against “normal.” People want to know that they are normal — and they want to know how to have the best sex. You absolutely can not have both. You have to pick: normal (i.e., average, typical, ordinary) OR the best (i.e., exceptional, extraordinary, rare… abnormal).
…
[T]he best sex — the best sex for you, I mean — is probably sex that other people would object to. Sex that horrifies some people. Sex that other people just won’t understand. Sex that singes the panties off others, others like you.
I know people are worried about doing it “right,” but there are no judges, no score cards, and no medals to be won. No one will deduct points if you fumble the dismount, like in Harry’s dream.
Please world, think carefully before you ask me about “normal” and “best.” Normal is boring and best is whatever sex you engage in with confidence and joy.
No one ever asks me how to have mediocre sex. I know that’s not what you want. Go ahead and have sex that would offend others. Put your tongue in dark, mysterious places. Fuck the bell curve.
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=4950
Wow. She appears to be constructed from pure awesome. Good link.
I’d venture to say that if you’re not having sex that would “…horrify some people”, then you’re doing it wrong.
Oh, and heaven help that poor last couple, on the very bottom of the list, that never has any sort of sex that horrifies anybody. I’d hate to be half of THAT couple. If that’s the case, it seems to me that you may just as well be an amoeba…
Good sex should make you breathe funny, make your heart beat irregularly, and put you in mortal fear of eternal damnation. If you’ve never felt that way, you’re not living, you’re just existing.
This is very friendly of you, thank you!
I think this is sound advice and it makes me feel good because I am a pervert.
It’s an interesting tactic for getting people to loosen up that I haven’t seen before. Kinsey was all about showing people how normal they really are. It’s probably better to just get people to accept that their sexual desires are weird.
“Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine.”
Whoopi Goldberg
You MUST read ‘Big Sex Little Death’!
re: Dr. Whiplash–Masturbation makes me breathe deeply. And I’ve been damned for all time for a very long time.