It occurred to me (after reading this), what an interesting read it would make, if some blog-master with the investigative chops and/or some sort of an erotic writing pedigree, were to be able to score an off-the-record interview with some old-timer in the Emergency Room at a major hospital like University of California San Francisco Medical Center or San Francisco General Hospital about the number, and variety, of objects removed from the rectums of patients over a period of years…
Just to tempt you, I’m guessing it might read like this:
“Oh, over the last decade alone, we’ve removed over a hundred light bulbs, bottles, ballpoint pens, golf balls, wooden darning eggs (http://bpics.ru...pg?79), broken off sausages…”
My list wasn’t ambitious enough. Here I am guessing at golf balls (thinking I was so smart for not stopping at imagining mere ping-pong ball size…), and of course the list of ACTUAL found objects included billiard balls, tennis balls, baseballs, apples and the like.
Judging by the multiple accountings of flashlights, I also missed in imagining a whole category that should have been a no-brainer. Same with screwdrivers, which probably provided a few hours of frightening trepidation following the initial “uh-oh” moment (not to mention that listing of the ice pick!…)
However, I do refuse to apologize for failing to imagine the denture, which I noticed in the Winchell Collection of X-rays.
I also failed to guess an artillery shell, and if I had, I’m sure I would have failed to imagine that it would need to be diffused before removal. What a story! After reading that one, I thought surely I had heard it all, until I read the one about the 8 cm diameter peanut butter jar, and the ingenious way in which it was removed…