Yup. I’m not kidding. The Stockroom has started selling a genuine anal pear device:

lockable anal pear in modern chrome steel

I didn’t think anybody had made one of these since they put down the Spanish Inquisition. But I suppose it was inevitable. Check out the flowery ad copy the Stockroom is using to sell it with:

Sometimes, you want others to know that your ass is off-limits. One glance at the Ultimate Asslock in use will be enough to let others know move on – this ass is spoken for! Simply insert this steel piece of botany into your back door and widen its petals to blossom while inside you to achieve a truly unique feeling of fullness.

Truly unique, they say! Do you figure? Say, maybe that’s why they used to call the spiky priest-approved version of this thing “the pear of anguish.”

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