There’s nothing wrong with a good panty fetish. Of course. To this audience, I don’t even got to say that.


There’s a certain sort of creep in the world who gets off on various sorts of fetishized interactions with members of the public who totally didn’t consent to a fetish exchange. Shoe salespeople get this a lot. I once heard an account of a toe rapist who would drop to the ground in department stores, grab the feet of salesladies, yank off a shoe, and forcibly suck a toe. Or ask a librarian about guys whose thing is to masturbate into books and then re-shelve them…

So. Fetish is OK, but don’t overshare, right?

If you sell panties for a living, a world where creeps won’t try to use you as an unpaid extra in their panty-buying fantasy LARP scenarios looks like an possible dream. But there are strategies for self-defense:

The Panties Of Yeast Resistance

(I am the lead in the lingerie department. After watching me for 15 minutes, a middle-aged man approaches me as I’m folding underwear. Note that this customer has bothered other female workers and is clearly a panty fetishist.)

Customer: “So, I’m buying some panties for my teenage daughter. Are these something that she would like?” *hands me a satin thong*

Me: “It depends on your daughter, but the pattern on them is nice.”

Customer: “But, will she like them? You’re about the same age. Do you wear panties like these? You said that they were nice. Do you own a pair of these panties?”

(I’ve worked in lingerie for awhile now and know what this customer is up to.)

Me: “Oh no, sir. Thongs are very bad for vaginal health. They help bacteria move from the anus to the vulva area and can cause urinary tract infections. Plus, cotton underwear really are the best, as satin doesn’t breathe properly and can lead to yeast infections.”

Customer: *stunned silence, turning red*

Me: *leads him to the “granny panty” section* “Really, these would be the best for your daughter. They’re the only underwear that I’ll wear! It’s best for her vaginal health. This four-pack is very economical. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer: *drops satin underwear and walks away very fast*

Me: “Have a great day!”

(My manager saw the exchange and gave me a high-five. The customer still bought underwear from us, but he never bothered another female worker again!)

From here. But that comes with a link warning, due to rotating ads that autostart both video and audio. So if you leave that window open in a tab, it will randomly shout at you. Forever. Even if you pause the video ad the first time it shouts at you. Totally not cool.

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