One of the things I don’t think a lot of women understand is the irrational optimism that overwhelms many men when we get to thinking with our dicks. Non-scientist idiots like me always get in trouble when we begin speculating about evolutionary biology, but I genuinely think this trait is hardwired into many men by evolution. If you make a pass at anything that moves when you’re thinking with the little head, you may get lucky more often than if you only lob reasonable propositions at willing-seeming women. Over time, the genes of men whose passes are always perceptively-judged and well-timed may fail to predominate.

Crappy pop-science that theory may well be — but the completely unfounded optimism of men asking women for sexual services on the basis of no encouragement whatsoever is hard to miss, especially on the internet where asking complete strangers is cheap and easy. To the women who have to field these bizarre importunations, the importuning men get parsed as stupid. And on an important civilized level, this behavior genuinely is stupid, being a low-success high-frequency strategy with serious reputational and social costs. But my guess is that it says more about a man’s impulse control and social skills (or lacks thereof) than it does about his cognitive intelligence.

All that is by way of speculation as to what makes this paragraph necessary to include in a guide for newbies who want to hire a dominatrix:

No, you cheap fuck, she probably doesn’t want you as her personal slave.

Before you contact a Mistress to ask if she is looking for a personal slave, look at her ad and website. Is she actively soliciting personal slaves? If she’s not, don’t bother asking.

When someone contacts me asking to be my personal slave, what they usually mean is: can you work for free? The answer is always no. I have hot guys I play with in my personal life and I don’t need you. I don’t care how helpful you think you are. If I don’t know you I don’t want you cleaning my apartment or running my errands.The fact that you are contacting a pro for free play says that you are much too stupid to be trusted with any important tasks.


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