August 3rd, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Oral Sex Seat
I love it when sex toy sales copy makes me laugh. This line did:
“There’s no better way of taking your submissive out to lunch.”
Behold:
I wonder if I am the only person in the world who reads this line and is immediately reminded of the old shaggy-dog story about the time the teller and Pancho Villa had lunch together?
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Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=10341
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=10341
What bugs me is when I see poorly designed but expensive gear being sold. It’s great to use powdered steel for the frame, but the orientation of it is way too narrow for the average human being to enter from “the front” or the “back” – at best you could only get part of your head in. The only practical way to use it is from the side, which to give them credit they do show in the pictures on the stockroom. Now look at the dimensions of it. I don’t know about you, but my shoulders are wider than 20 inches. Even in the pictures they show, the small female is not directly under the center. I’ve been building custom BDSM gear for over 25 years now as an amateur – there is nothing like using gear to give you an appreciation for nice design work, or to make you wince you see problems in design.
Speaking as a large man, there is an awful lot of design out there that default-assumes the world is populated by tiny people. Go into any MegaLoMart and look at their line of bathroom scales. A great many of them are calibrated for people who weigh less than 180 or 200 pounds. Now look around at the customers. How many of them can’t use these products?
Er… Bacchus… Sorry to be the one to break this to you, but… not an oral sex seat, really.
And besides, as others have noted, very bad design.
I am not making this up: that’s the title of the item on The Stockroom’s web page, as you can see if you click the link (or even hover it).
I’m not being credulous, I’m being literal. Also, there’s this from the sales copy: “The Seat fits over the submissive’s face and facilitates oral-genital and/or oral-anal stimulation. ”
Perhaps it’s used for other things that The Stockroom doesn’t care to advertise, eh?
A proper oral-sex seat would probably look more like a birthing seat, which have a lot of space at the front.
What a shame. Many die-hard D/s enthusiasts greatly cherish well-crafted ergonomic furnishings and “tools”.
I too have been crafting BDSM furniture, implements, and various sex devices since sometime in the late seventies/early eighties (I never thought to take note of the date at the time…), and I’d also say that the designer of this item, has failed if his goal was to create an object which would facilitate the submissive partner’s access to the area of his focus (and presumably, his desire…), which his dominant partner is presenting to him, for an extended face-sitting session. I can’t help but wonder if whoever engineered this, has ever tried to use it, or even a similarly purposed object.
One of the first things they teach in any serious design class is that form follows function. My guess is, that in this case, either ease of reproduction, or low materials costs was likely the priority. At best, this could be used as an intimidating prop in a dark corner of the dungeon of a dominatrix whom you didn’t really know well enough to fully trust.
My guess is, this item will soon be replaced with a more suitable substitute. Well thought out designs become instant classics. Less well thought out items, tend to evolve….