When a writer using the byline of Annalee Hardison wrote about her first experience of oral sex, at Gasm, I was struck by the erotic fiction tropes and stylistic similarities between this ostensibly non-fiction account and the paid-by-the-word “sex letters” columns that used to appear as filler in porn magazines. I typically don’t worry much about the literal truth of the sexual accounts that get blogged about here, and I don’t propose to start worrying today. I just think the stylistic accomplishment is worth noting before we get to the good stuff:

I don’t want to write anything disparaging about Eric because he wasn’t a bad kisser or anything like that, I just expected something different, something more intimate, romantic and certainly something more intense. Well, that all changed the minute we both got completely naked and I let him go down on me! It kind of took me by surprise at first; the sensation was very pleasurable, but totally unique. It was so warm, slippery and exquisite! I had never felt anything like it before and the feeling of his tongue and lips on my vagina was incredible. This far surpassed anything I had ever done in my young, inexperienced life.

My body began involuntarily trembling with tiny spasms of excitement and pleasure. My breath quickened and I was moaning, gasping and running my hands through his hair and feeling the side of his face as his jaw moved up and down while he made love to my vagina with his mouth. My nipples were rock hard and my entire body felt electrified. The intensity that had been missing from our PG-13 make-out sessions was obliterated by this full-on orgasmic sensation of pure lust and carnality! I no longer cared if he didn’t think I was pretty (he did) or if I technically wasn’t his girlfriend (I wasn’t). I didn’t care that my parents would absolutely kill me if they found out I was making out with a 21-year old guy that had gone to high school with my older sister. A guy that I had a crush on since I was in the 7th grade! I didn’t care if he thought I was silly or that I had a bit of stubble in my armpits. I just knew that I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted this incredible sensation to LAST FOREVER.

I was shaking uncontrollably and gasping for breath. I kept saying “Oh god Eric, oh god, OH GOD!” And then, he looked up while still lapping and gently inserted his middle finger into my drenched and throbbing vagina. I had never known such absolute pleasure in all my life. The old “one-two” trick of using fingers while going down on a woman has to be the BEST INVENTION EVER! After he started easing his finger into me, I was delirious with ecstasy! A thin mist of sweat had broken out over my entire naked body and I was shaking so hard I was surprised my teeth weren’t chattering as I writhed in delicious perfection. I was convulsing with pre-orgasmic bliss as he rhythmically fingered me and brought me closer and closer to climax. I was so wet that my thighs were slippery and his face was drenched in my lady lubrication. A strong sensation overtook me and suddenly I was buckling under him as I shook with feverish delight. Wave after wave of orgasm broke over me as I came again and again. I was not in control, and I convulsed with excited spasms a few more times until it almost began to actually hurt. I felt exhilarated and light-headed, like I was going to faint and blast off into space at the same time. He came up from between my thighs and held me as I quivered in his arms. I couldn’t speak and my head was spinning.

She continues in this enthusiastic vein when it gets to be his turn:

I kissed and licked his chest and nipples, making my way down to his stomach where I undid his zipper and tore off his pants in one fell swoop. His briefs were bulging with an enormous erection. I had never seen one that up-close before and was stunned that it didn’t look anything like I imagined. It certainly didn’t look like anything we were taught about in health class. It was fully erect and curved at a slight angle, like it was pointing to something right over his head. It was meaty, vein-y and throbbing. It was pulsating with Eric’s heartbeat and for a moment the sight of it mesmerized me…

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