We All Know This Girl
From Dirtbag John Milton:
Eve: do you want to make out
Satan: what
Eve: not to brag or anything but i’ve been told i’m pretty hot
so do you want to make out
Satan: don’t you have a husband
Eve: probably
i mean i have a lot of things
but i don’t have one here
in this orchard
i don’t have an orchard husband
do you want to make out or what
Satan: yeah okay
“I don’t have an orchard husband…” I do find this quite funny, and so I suppose the gender-traditional reaction would be for me as a man to yuk this up with wry bitterness as an illustration of the faithlessness of women. But my perspective is otherwise: I think we all, men and women alike, recognize that moment when our impulse (whether or not we act on it) is to look swiftly around the orchard and then answer “er, nope?”
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LOL! Eve is so pushy and Satan is such a wuss. Damn, there goes all my fantasies about the Devil!
I wonder if Satan has a wife. She must be hot!
I think he’s more a “new blushing virgin every night” kinda dude. He’s all “anal sex, I will show you it” and then he whips out the barbed schlong…
According to at least one legend among the Basques, Satan must have a wife. Given that Basque is a linguistic isolate, it is notoriously difficult for non-native speakers to learn. One Basque story has it that Basque is the one human language that Satan failed to learn, but another is that Satan did manage to learn Basque, but that he would only use it in conducting arguments with his mother-in-law, which would appear to entail that Satan did indeed have a wife.
I sort of wonder about that mother-in-law…