July 28th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
A Surplus Of Cucumbers
It’s the time of year when people in a gardening forum I frequent are starting to ask each other questions like “What can I do with all these huge surplus cucumbers?”
Sit with that, Bacchus. Just…sit with it. Breathe. Whatever you do, do not type anything!
Not getting banned from this gardening forum is my most difficult annual professional challenge. Can I make it another year?
The cucumber anal insertion .gif is said to be from Episode 2 of a 2002 hentai anime series called Gekka Bijin, also known as Maison Plaisir.
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Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=23827
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=23827
Professional tip: put your cucumber into a bowl of recently boiling water for a couple of minutes to warm up OR put it in your microwave for a VERY SHORT period of time. Try starting with 12-15 seconds, then hold it in your hand, put it against your calf, test the warmth – repeat until it feels not quite warm enough.
The reason you start *gently* with this is that once you drop a couple drops of your favorite lube on this and start to shove it up the orifice of your choice you will discover that it feels warmer inside you than it did in the air.
Caveats and thoughts: don’t do this with a waxed grocery store cucumber until you wash it thoroughly; don’t do this with a spiny cucumber unless you scrub it; oh just wash whatever cucumber you are using and check it over – cut off any stem. I sometimes like to thin the skin in zebra stripes along the length, even going so far as to cut through the skin barely. Girth is a blessing you don’t need a really LONG* cucumber so much as you need one that your happy happy body is going to clamp down on like venus fly trap on a juicy bug.
*though we’ve had a bit of fun with some long japanese eggplants that are a bit curvy and quite flexible…
Blessed be.
If you’re VERY skilled with a knife or vegetable peeler, you can just barely half-peel a zucchini, and it will produce its OWN lube!