It’s not easy to find a porn upside to a global pandemic, but I am here at ErosBlog to do this heavy lifting for you.

The first item on my list of positives is that everybody stuck at home has a lot more time for looking at porn and doing what comes naturally. If you’re lucky enough to have privacy, you’ll be doing a lot more surfing of your porn lists like Reach Porn. It’s fine, though, because hey! You’ll be washing your hands soon anyway…

The very next item on my upside list is that fetishes always breed in difficult times. This is natural. Nobody fully understand what makes fetishes gel in your sexual psyche, but one common model is that when normal human arousal and unusual stimuli coincide, those unusual stimuli tend to become associated with the arousal. I’ve mentioned before my friend who came away from a long and humiliating hospital stay where he couldn’t manage his own business, with a permanent fetish for nurses and pee. I knew another guy who dated his leg fetish to his childhood, when his aunt routinely made him — a short kid whose eyes were at the right level — help her adjust the seams of her stockings for straightness and parallelism.

So now we find ourselves social distancing, and a lot of people are wearing masks. It’s a stressful time. But people will nonetheless experience sexual arousal — it never stops. The consequence is inevitable — one hell of a lot of people are going to come out of this with a mask fetish.

In Asia, the source of kinky porn and, sometimes, zoonotic viruses, they are way ahead of us on the mask wearing. It only stands to reason that Japanese porn is a few years ahead of us in generating surgical mask porn, too. I checked in the usual places and sure enough, my intuition was not disappointed. Rule 34 lives; the thing exists, and there is definitely porn of it!

That said, I’ll confess I didn’t expect to find numerous pictures of masked women giving blowjobs. This would seem to violate basic principles of physical and social distancing. Shack up with a plague buddy if you must, but if you still need the mask, maybe also keep dicks out of your mouth?

There is a certain logic to it, though. I mean, no; we should be staying entirely away from people who could infect us, not sucking their cocks. But sometimes the demands of a lover cannot be denied:

O come, and take from me
The pain of being deprived of thee!

Thomas Campion wrote that urgent couplet more than 400 years ago. All signs indicate that Campion was gay as a three-dollar bill, so he may have known something extra about dicks, and the urgent need for the sucking of them.

And that’s where the logic of the mask-wearing cocksucker finally comes to the fore. Sometimes, stuff’s gonna happen no matter what. It may not be smart, but that changes nothing. In such a case, well, one still hopes to avoid getting droplets in one’s respiratory system, and a mask can maybe help with that.

Stay home, wash your hands, and stay safe!

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