“Sneeze For Me, Baby…”
It seems that Annie’s husband has discovered the silver lining, er, behind having an allergic wife:
I was likely snoring alluringly – we all know how sexy a good snort and snotty sniff is – which naturally drove my man wild with desire and, no longer able to restrain his need, I felt him get on the bed behind me and spoon, the rowdy beast poking at his lair’s door insistently. Herein lies another effect of “severe allergy” pills. Being antihistimines, they dry everything up – everything except my nose that is – requiring the horny, and now grumbling, man to get up and rummage the nightstand drawer for the lube.
At that point he was truly a man on a mission, he was gonna Get Some and Get It Now. He lifted me up onto my knees and elbows and was quickly home with a virile plunge. The thing about hay fever is that as long as ya stay really still with your eyes closed, the symptoms can be held at bay. The minute ya move and open your eyes, It’s All Over. With Robert fucking happily away, I sneezed and Robert says, “Whoa! Sneeze again!”
“Huh? What happened to gezundheit?” I query in disbelief.
“Gezundheit. Now sneeze again. Man, that feels amazing!” he sez, thrusting the beast in to the hilt and holding, waiting for the next sneeze. “Come on, look at the light or something… sneeze for me, baby.”
Sneeze for me, baby? I’ve heard of cumming on command, but sneezing on command? Now, this is kinky.
“Um…” I responded brilliantly.
“Come on, baby, SNEEZE!” he commanded, slapping my ass hard. Then again.
Damned if that didn’t work. The stimulation did indeed set off a new round of sneeze – or maybe it was just convenient timing – but Robert got his desire. The way he moaned it must have been pretty darned good.
“It would be even better in your ass,” I heard through the nose pill haze. Soon, the beast had poked his head into my tight, unprepped bottom.
“OWWW-choo! Shit, Robert!” Aaahhh-choo! My hay fever attack was officially exerting itself again in full force. So I’m sneezing and bugfuck stupid with a cock up my ass and my man is moaning “oooh baby, it’s sooo good”.
It just doesn’t get any kinkier than this.
I suppose you could try this at home (even without allergies) using a bit of black pepper. Or, for the truly retro Victorian shopgirl experience, snuff.
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Funniest fucking thing i’ve read in a LONG time! Can be kinky but when i’m sick sex is the last thing on my mind. hehehe more power to those who enjoy
Hilarious.
And I understand that coughing can produce the same effect.
Though in my case I have had to be careful that it is the cock-clenching button that is pressed, rather than the cock-eject one: it is a dangerous business, the flu-fuck. ;)
What about hiccups? :hehe:
I must say, great reading. Funniest and most entertaining thing I’ve read in a very long while, I agree with Prey. LOL!
Wow, that brings back memories! My ex used to sneeze often but she had such great pussy muscles that most sneezes used to eject me from her cunt. We figured it out! She would tell me when she felt a sneeze coming on and I would dive in as deep as I could and roll her arse up so I could hang on to her her waist. When she sneezed I would get a blast of muscular energy that would almost make me cum.
My advice is to get inside as deep as possible, grab hold of the sheets or whatever you’re lying on and enjoy the ride.
We tried a little pepper for me and she experienced a similar huge PULSE of energy from my cock that rocked her pussy all the way down.
BEWARE: Do not get any pepper on your fingers!!!!
I loved it. We too have discovered that it is amazing how tight a vagina can get during a sneeze.
Reminds of the ancient tales of Geisha that could crush bamboo… Yow!