Strange Sex Spam O’ The Day
Nobody expects very much from spam. But most of it makes at least a certain sort of sense. Bigger penis? Sure, there’s a market. Harder penis? Why not? Breast enlargements? Cheaper mortgages? Debt reduction? Fake Rolex watches? I probably know somebody who wants each of these things.
But an increased ejaculate volume? Who do I know that worries about their inability to make a big enough mess during sex? No, on second thought, don’t tell me.
This is an actual spam I just got, with editorial comments in brackets:
Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?
[Er, no. Or, I’m not sure about the dribbling. Usually I’m not looking; usually it’s in a warm moist place that I can’t see into. As for wishing it had shot out, why? This ain’t a peeing contest, boys. There are, so far as I know, no prizes for volume or velocity.]
Have you ever wanted to impress your girl with a huge cumshot?
[I’ve frequently wanted to impress my girl, yes. But is she impressed by a huge cumshot? Uh, Nymph? Is there something you haven’t been telling me? Is there in fact any woman in the whole freakin’ world who cares whether a cumshot is huge or not?]
[. . . . . sound of crickets . . . . . ]
[PRODUCT] is the only site to offer an all natural male enhancement
formula that is proven to increase your sperm volume by up to 500%.
Our highly potent, volume enhancing formula will give our results
in days and comes with an impressive 100% guarantee.Imagine the difference (look and feel) between dribbling your cum
compared to shooting out burst after burst.[The look? Where exactly is this wanker ejaculating? And exactly how little sensation is he getting from sex, that he’s worring about the feel of his ejaculation? Hello, you’re supposed to be in sensory overload just then!]
Try [PRODUCT] now! and with our money back guarantee you have absolutely nothing to lose!
[Riiiight — because taking pills with absolutely no information on what’s in them is never dangerous. “Your herbal poison eroded my heart valves, can I have my $19.99 back please?]
But seriously, folks, and all ridicule aside — is there anybody among my readers, male or female, who worries about the force and volume of male ejaculate? If so, please chime in with a comment and an explanation!
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=1349
Quantity can be an indication of recent orgasm. So maybe this is for people who don’t want their significant other’s to know that they have cum recently? Nah typical guys just buy into anything thats bigger, better, stronger and messier. :)
The interest in such a product is no doubt for fans of the facial cum shot, which if you’ll pardon the pun, has surged in popularity in porn over the last decade.
Given that there is a natural decline in output as men age, I’m not surprised to see products that promise to give a man “Peter North” size ejaculations.
Of course just like penis enlargement spam is a scam so is this.
There’s an African culture whose men are OBSESSED with the quantity, consistency, and color of their ejaculate. They take its state as an indicator of not only potency and virility, but of their health and well-being with a quasi-religious fantaticism that seems pretty strange to outsiders. All manner of herbal compounds and exercises are used to adjust their emissions.. too thin or too thick are both dangerous signs, too weak, too clear, etc., also cause for significant alarm. I doubt any of these guys are among your readers, though!
Interesting coincidence, just today at work, I was discussing having a vasectomy with my co-workers. Seems they are looking into getting it done, but they are both concerned the amount and force of their ejaculations will go down. Maybe there is a concern among some men about this. For the people collating data, my co-workers were both Latinos.
Sure there are those of us gals who appreciate getting “marked” bukkake style with a huge load of our man’s jiz. There is something appealing in the after thoughts of the moment he unloads and especially if it was a big messy one just for you. In consideration of the bukkake too, though I wouldn’t really want to be stripped, taken to the town square tied up while every man rubbed off on me, it is something that may be fun to think about being covered in life force and all…
Bring on the loads of cum!!!
Otherwise the ad is simply another commodification of sex and the sex act.
Re the loss of volume after vasectomy, Not to worry! Sperm cells comprise less than 1/10 of 1% of semen volume. Remember, even though there may be 150 million of those little “tadpoles”, they are microscopic. Most of the volume comes from the prostate and the seminal vesicles. The testes contribute nothing but the sperm cells.
Like what Yoni said, it’d just be fun to be able to… gives me a bit of a mischievous grin thinking about it. But then there’s a draw back to having a huge load: if you came inside her you’d have to “taste your own vanilla” for much longer before it was all clean a tidy down there again. And what guy wants to taste man when he’s eating a woman?
You know, I was thinking of a post on this same subject…but now…well, it would just be frivolous.
:hehe: not bad…
Having experienced a significant reduction in the quantity, intensity and duration of ejaculation over recent years, yes I can completely understand why this is an issue to many.
“how little sensation is he getting from sex, that he’s worring about the feel of his ejaculation?” The feeling of orgasm is of paramount importance. Feeling the earth move for several minutes is far preferable to sneezing once!