Reasons For Bondage
It has to be said: People are funny about their kinks. They want the kink, but sometimes they don’t want to own up to the sex part. They don’t like to admit that they do what they do because it makes them horny and leads to great sex.
In the realm of bondage, one way people sometimes display this curious hesitance is to treat bondage as if it were a sort of performance art. They wax lyrical about the aesthetics of the thing, do bondage displays in public venues with strict rules against any sort of sex play, and create highly stylized photography featuring beautiful bondage models like Roma, here, tied up with almost all of her clothes on:
Which, in my view, is mostly bunk. It leads to some breath-taking bondage photography, sure. But when a man ties up a woman’s breasts with that much care, it’s for one reason only. The reason? So she can’t bat away his hands when he does this:
Now, that’s what I call getting a good squeeze!
(Of course, those particular hands actually belong to Claire Adams, as you can see in the full gallery from Whipped Ass. No matter, it’s still a good squeeze.)
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=2049
Um, sorry, but I’m a little confused…why would a woman *want* to bat away hands that were squeezing her breasts like that?
:)
I went to highschool with Roma. I’ve seen a few schoolmates in porn, and it’s always a little bit shocking at first.
AAG, I dunno, but many a man has had it happen. I’m sure it’s the usual factors: youth, boorishness, haste, bad timing, poor choice of venue, undue presumption. You know, the usual suspects.
Even if she does want him to do it (and she probably does)… it doesn’t matter. The point is… she can’t stop him. Even if she wants to.
THAT’s what makes it so damned hot :)
First, I would like to say Owie! Did you notice that sitting horse thing?
…delicious.
As far as clothing in bondage scenes goes; It usually makes it look more like sex to me. Like a heated, rushed, we couldn’t get the clothes off in time, scenario.
Dude,
Why you gotta be dissin’ the performance art?
I’m not saying you’re wrong about any of the stuff about the enjoyment of breasts, and the way that can lead to sex. Or even dancing, for that matter. But every time? If I was supposed to have sex, or even get turned on, by every woman or man I tied up, I would be exhausted. In fact, I appreciate the implied compliment as to my sexual prowess.
But yeah, actually, it can be just “performance art”. It can be done in galleries and intrigue people and do more than just lead to sex. A lot of people just enjoy the feeling of the ropes binding them, and do not want to have any kind of sexual contact outside of it.
Sounds to me like you’re saying “If you like bondage for the reason I like bondage, then you’re fine. But if you claim to like it for any other reason, you are full of it, because I don’t like it for that reason.”
And I know you’re more open minded than that. Question for you: what performances of rope bondage have you watched? Zamil? Lochai? Zumanity? Give me some examples of the “bunk”, please, because I’m just not getting how me liking to do this shit in front of crowds of people makes me “hesitant” to accept my kink…
why do we have to deny the tactial as a form of sexual pleasure? Are you saying that all sex play leads to orgasm, or touched genitals or…?
I’m just sayin’ – I love the feeling of cashmere against my chest. Doesn’t mean I have sex with it but its definately sensual, and as part of that part of my sexual pleasures.
Greydancer, you can’t catch me that easily — I weaseled a “sometimes” and an “in my view” and a “mostly” in there precisely to allow for some exceptions. ;-)
Also, please be aware that this post was sort of a comedic setup — I was deliberately blathering about the artistic stuff in a dismissive tone to set up what was hoped would be a humorous shock value when the grabby picture scrolled into view. So there’s really nothing in the post I’d feel like defending for more than the few sentences below this.
Anyway, the “bunk” I was talking about (“mostly”, “in my view”) was the self-deception about the performance art, not the art itself. I don’t diss much of anything that people do, but I’m often very cynical about the creative stories they tell about why they do it. “We like to do [whatever that’s kinky] but it’s got nothing to do with sex for us” is a common statement that I don’t generally consider plausible. (“We enjoy it for sexual and other reasons” would be a different story, but that’s not the usual claim.)
Do people have fun with bondage that’s not sexual fun? Sure, it happens, a lot. What I’m saying is that there are people in that crowd watching you who aren’t being honest with themselves or anybody else about the fact that they’re getting turned on by watching you. And I’m not even dissing that, much; I just think it’s sad we live in a culture where that’s the only way they can feel OK about showing up.
Dammit, Bacchus, just when I’m trying to drive up my blog numbers with a big flame war you have to get all reasonable and say things that I agree with completely. You’re just no fun at all.
In truth, I was fine because of all the qualifiers you put in, but there was the “…when a man ties up a woman’s breasts with that much care, it’s for one reason only”, so I figured I had something to bitch about.
However, I gotta agree with you. The people who don’t think that art & sex should be mixed…well, they’re as bad as the guy who watched one of my performances, a slow roping that took about1/2 hour, and then just blurted out, in front of an audience that was enraptured, “So…when’s he gonna fuck her?”
Yeah, sad is the right word for it.
And btw: good comedic setup. I was just bein’ contrary-like.
LOL, I try not to do them flamewar thingies.
Yeah, you would have to go and quote the most indefensible line of the post! I’d call it “clear comic hyperbole” but I think the semi-serious intro may have boned the “clear” part.
Ah, well, if I could write comedy I’d be on Comedy Central, eh what?
O.K. Bacchus, I’ve waited politely for you to ask “E.” (comment#2) where they went to high school, now I’m steppin’ in. I’ve got to know where (& how) this anomalous institution is which is successfully growing porn stars. I’ll buy you a beer if you can arrange an invitation to “E.”‘s next reunion…
Whiplash, you’re on your own I fear, because I make a point not to ask folks here for personally identifying information. Best of luck to ya!
Bacchus,
I love the pics and I also very much agree with what you said in the body of the post. Even in real life we try to exude sex but not embrace it. Outfits show off cleavage or a firm ass, but yet according to those in power sex out side of marriage is bad. God forbid we actually enjoy ourselves.
My guy and I are new at the bondage thing and just last night he asked, “What do you want to try next?” I suggested some tit framing designs, and lo and behold I come across this pic on your blog. Which makes me think – wouldn’t it be fun if Martha Stewart’s mag had a bondage feature like they do with flower arranging and lattice pie crusts? Hee.