Noisy Neighbors
From Heretic Spire, via Whatever:
It began as just a Downstairs Neighbor with the Visiting Screamer, aka his girlfriend. But then a few weeks ago, the Visiting Screamer became the Live-In Screamer.
…
I swear, this woman is not to be believed. She howls, yells, moans, throws things around, and so help me God — she narrates.
“… OH MY GOD I’M HITTING MY HEAD ON THE HEADBOARD AHH AHH AHH YOU’RE KNEELING ON MY HAIR OOH OOH OOH I’M COMING OH GOD OH GOD HARDER HARDER MORE MORE MORE YOU’RE GIVING IT TO ME GOOD AHM AHM AHM OHH OHH OHH MY NIPPLES ARE SO HARD AHH AHH AHH I’M SCRATCHING YOUR HAIRY LITTLE THIGH OOH OOH OOH I’M LYING ON A WET SPOT AAH AAH AAH MMM MMM MMM …”
It’s like living upstairs from a Phillip Roth audiobook. I mean, I’m glad you’re having a good time, sister, but it’s summer. People have their windows open, you know? Maybe muffle it just a tad.
Similar Sex Blogging:
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=2109
Reminds me of an episode of Coupling:
Sally:We can’t do it at my place, I have a listening flatmate
Jane: Oh, that’s the worst, do you have to be really quiet?
Sally: No, very loud. We’re very competitive.
Try to cause a little coitus interruptus downstairs. If nothing else, you feel better.
:-D
One of my ex-girlfriends had a neighbor like that downstairs. I’m no Sigmund Freud, but I always told her it sounded to me more like an invitation to join them…
http://imgs.xkc...x.png
we were loud last night, went out half-way through to get more drinks, flatmate (lives across the common area) said “you guys having fun? every five seconds I hear a loud slap” He was grinning, so I don’t think he was pissed off, he has loud music, computer games, etc and I can’t believe he doesn’t have a pair of headphones.
I got kicked out of my last house for being too loud (mostly the problem was that the bed squeaked, and the bed belonged to the house).
*is Really looking forward to buying a large house where he can make as much noise as he wants*
That Comic was great! Thanks Alias
Judging by my experience, relatively large (according to me), relatively small (compared to others), most sex takes place without a word, much less outbursts in complete, if telegraphically reduced, sentences. But before you take pity on me (again), I must report that I recently had the experience of unexpectedly making love (not a euphemism) with a woman who talked with me practically the whole time. It was definitely the major tun-on of my sex life to date, and I was deeply appreciative. But, wouldn’t you know, she has a steady boyfriend… (I’m working on this).
Here’s an experiment: Record her excursions, and slip the cassette in their mailbox. I predict blessed silence (save for some whimpering) will ensue.
Yes, that will endear you to her… ;\
I always wonder what to do about this: I live in an apartment building where I can hear people flush the toilet. I hate the idea that I can be heard, but on the other hand, I’m having sex goddamnit and want to enjoy myself as much as possible. Is there agreed upon etiquette regarding this? Like, um, “just shut up”?
Daily, put a mattress on the floor, or pull your bed back from the walls and any other furniture. Oil the joints, put padding under the legs, etc.
Then turn up the TV/Radio loud and have at it.
If all else fails, lash out for a hotel room once in a while.
I love xckd. Hilarious comic. Good choice, Alias.
My boyfriend and I get very noisy, and often. I think the only reason no one has complained is because the only people who can hear us play rap music very loudly all weekend. We don’t complain about each other, so each of us gets to be as noisy as we want ;)