One of the perils of playing MMORPGs as a grownup is that they’ll let any random 14-year-old riff-raff into those things. And sure, you can choose your associations, but eventually you’ll wind up in a guild or corp or whatever with some too-young boys who are annoying as fuck. They typically don’t last — not if you’ve chosen a good band of brothers to run with — but they do come before they go.

My latest cross to bear in my favored internet spaceship game is a guy who is so young, he still thinks “gay” is the cool all-purpose negative adjective. He loses a fight? Gay. The other guy runs from a fight? Gay. They patch the game in a way he doesn’t like? Gay. A game item doesn’t have the stats he thinks it should? Gay.

Gay. Gay. Gay. Every third sentence. Gay.

Last night I told gay-fixated-boy “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.” Classical movie reference. Totally before his time. Went right over his head. Gay.

So I found myself totally wanting to rickroll him with some real gayness. I didn’t do it though; I’m not sure if he’s a legal adult or not, and the players are expected to support this particular game’s “T for Teen” rating even if it is boldly disclaimed that “Online Interactions Not Rated by the ESRB.”

But I figured, you know, something from Bound Gods. Maybe something like this:

gay caning and suspension scene

Gay. Totally. 100% organically-grown San-Francisco-certified pure gay. But not, I think, what this boy has in mind.

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