3 Responses to “Bobbing For Apples, Depression Style”

1. Dr. Whiplash said (on November 17th, 2010 at 6:32 am)

   In this day and age, bobbing for apples is a grossly underrated form of entertainment.

   When trying to sink your teeth into a large diameter firm apple, buoyancy isn’t enough of a force to press against to actually accomplish the feat. It’s ultimately an exercise in futility. When two or more teams are pitted against each other, the best strategy is to chase the apple with your face, and pin it firmly against the bottom of the wash tub, until you can sink your teeth into it, and retrieve it.

   I offer my condolences to your hapless readers who are too young to have ever seen a pretty girl gulping repeatedly after an elusive floating apple until she realizes the solution to the dilemma.

   If a couple of small diameter apples have been tossed into the mix, you get to see a gal or two with shiny red ball gags in their mouths, who look like they’d be likely candidates to be able to deep-throat your johnson.

   The gals who are forced to retrieve the biggest fruits, come out of the tub looking like bukkake [from the Japanese bukkakeru, meaning to dash (water)] victims, and if you’re lucky, the water draining from their hair and chins just might be enough to relegate them to wet T-shirt contestant status.

   MTV should bring these activities back for their spring break shows.

2. Bacchus said (on November 17th, 2010 at 11:36 am)

   Dr. Whiplash, you can always be relied upon to recognize the kinky potential of every situation. ;-)

   I am actually just old enough (and rural enough) to have been present in my childhood at a couple of genuine apple-bobbing entertainments, but sadly the “no hands” rule was enforced by social pressure, not tied wrists.

3. Don said (on November 18th, 2010 at 8:11 am)

   I love the look on her face — I think the artist had, shall we say, longings?

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