Freshly-Pumped Wife Juice
It turns out that there’s a guy named Steve who does a bit called “Steve, Don’t Eat It!” In which bit he samples various comestibles and near-comestibles for science, and shares the hilarious results with us. From Pickled Pork Rinds to prison wine, he seems pretty fearless.
And then one day he noticed something handy in the refrigerator:
One day I realized that a perfectly viable “Steve Don’t Eat It” candidate has been sitting right under my nose for months. Right in my very own refrigerator. And it came right out of my wife! No, I’m not talking about that giant cucumber, perv. I’m talking about breast milk.
That’s right. And not just a little drop off the odd finger, but a genuine slug of freshly-pumped wife juice. (I’ll go ahead and ignore the shiver I just got, and keep typing.)
…
I must admit that my aversion to drinking breast milk is something of a double-standard. Let me try to put this as delicately as I can out of respect to my female readers… but some women have been known to willingly “ingest” a certain dubious “body fluid” made by men, during moments of “intimacy.” (These moments are known as “blow jobs.” These women are known as “awesome.”)
Nevertheless, I couldn’t bring myself to just do the whole shot at once, so I started out with a little girly sip.
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Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=6975
I really don’t understand this aversion to human breast milk. It’s absolutely lovely stuff, and, damn, it makes sex interesting.
Yes, very tasty stuff.
When that company in the UK was going to make breast milk Ice Cream, I posted on Facebook about wishing I could try some, and some people really went silly about it. One person went off in particular, so I told them about people shotting horse cum in NZ at the extreme foods fair. People have been eating animal testicles for years, Breast Milk is at least designed for human consumption.
I recall a veritable shitstorm of revulsion at the idea on one particular forum, which I believe was associated with an xkcd strip, from which I concluded that most of the people who find the concept difficult to deal with are adolescent, virgin, technophillic geeks (both male and female).
On a different forum (it may have been on Literotica), however, the negative responses mostly came from what appeared to be hyper-hetero macho types. So, meh, go figure. No accounting for taste, I suppose.
A fascinating subject for me, being leaky of boob as I currently am.
Whilst pasteurising yesterday’s efforts, I got distracted (by the internet of course) and forgot about my milk which ended up boiling in the pan for a while. It had turned a pale beige colour, and tasted of caramel. I couldn’t really give it to the baby, but as a bedtime drink for me it was amazing. Must “accidentally” do that again sometime.
My other half is firmly in the “Ewwww” camp, which is a terrible shame. He has no idea what he’s missing, and it won’t keep flowing forever. My older son is more adventurous, at least he tried a sip before declaring “I think I prefer normal- er- cow milk.”
Funny old world.
I am not impressed. I eat things that steve wouldn’t feed to his dog. Things he would throw in his neighbor’s trash can with a ten foot pole.