August 6th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
Learning From Porn
Once you can get past the timorous-sounding paragraphs of initial disclaimers designed to neutralize the barrage of inevitable carping from porn-negative folks, this list by Dr. Marty Klein is actually somewhat eye-opening by reason of its length. I’m not sure it should be surprising, though. I know I’m not the only one whose initial comprehension of sex would have been much the worse if all porn had been subtracted from the information available to me:
32 Helpful Things You Can Learn From Porn
Similar Sex Blogging:
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Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=8393
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=8393
I would have been nowhere near as successful in my first actual sexual encounter (and many of the subsequent ones) if I hadn’t read a plain text guide to female pleasure and cunnilingus co-written by two female porn stars.
The last one was:
WHATEVER your sexual fantasy, you’re not the only one who has it.
I’d add a corollary, or two:
WHATEVER you’ve done with sex, people have been doing it for thousands of years and someone else did it just now.
(Technological “advances” excepted, of course)
#4 “Spit works for lube ”
Mmm, not really, only for oral sex. If your lady isn’t lubricating yet still feels horny (sometimes the body just doesn’t cooperate) a water-based lube is going to work a Lot better than spit, doubly so if you’re using a condom.
“Whether during intercourse, oral, or manual sex, the clitoris can be important.”
I don’t think there’s much Can about it, it’s pretty much a given that it’s going to feel a lot better for a women to get some c-action in.
Overall a damn good list, an excellent reminder that porn is planned (I wouldn’t say that all porn is written/scripted), directed and acted out by people, who often inject their own personal preferences into what’s happening. I’ve seen some porn stares get in some Very intense gazes with the people they’re having sex with, it obviously works for them and it’s the kind of thing that one should take as a suggestion to use themselves.
“Some men like anal sex” – giving and/or receiving
“Some women use and enjoy vibrators and dildos” – there are also plenty of toys for men
re:
“Pornography is not meant to be sex education. It’s fiction, period.” _ Well, I suppose first we’d have to define what is and what isn’t porn. I’m not gonna go there, but I’ll say I’m sure that there are a good number of people who would call a lot of my non-fictional comments on this blog “porn”
As literate as most of Erosblog’s fans and commenters are, I expect that a bit of you may be familiar with the Lilliputians in Jonathan Swift’s “Gulliver’s Travels”, yet may not know of the Houyhnhnms. Houyhnhms, are an idealized race that live in total peace and harmony by principles of reason and rationality, and therefore they would never lie. To the Houyhnhnms, lying has no point. To these creatures, “The use of speech [is] to make us understand one another, and to receive information of facts.” There’s a lot of wisdom in communicating truthful information.
I find myself enjoying porn that is believable. The more believable, the better. When I read “I fucked her with a telephone pole.”, I have a difficult time suspending disbelief. I’d rather read “I fucked her with a well-lubed hardball bat.”
I believe it was Mark Twain who once said “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”. Also wise advice I’d say.
“Some men like their balls squeezed during sex” – Er… Some men DON’T like their balls squeezed during sex. Trust me on this…
“Spit works for lube” – O.K., um, some women (and a good number of men as well I would expect…), find loud spitting noises and drooling gobs of spittle, to be a bit off-putting during a time in which you really don’t want to be displaying any sexual turn-offs. My advice is that if you find saliva necessary, try not to be obvious about its application, and try to lay it on directly with your tongue if at all possible. If your lady (or gent…) is a serious bottom or masochist, perhaps the opposite is true however. Knowing your partner’s desire is both an art and a science.
“People can indicate to each other what they like during sex” – Great advice. One of the best things you can say during sex is, “Which feels better, this or THIS?”