We all know that turtles are slow. But did you know they fuck so slowly they can get captured by geology, and turn up 47 million years later as fossils?

fossilized turtle sex

You’re looking at one of nine pairs of Eocene-epoch fucking-turtle fossils discovered in Germany. According to NBC News (as pointed out in a rare post by my old old sex-blog-friend Daze) these are the only examples of copulating vertebrates known in the fossil record. And even turtles don’t normally fuck so slowly as to be captured by accumulating sediments; it’s thought that these turtles were in a lake with toxic depths, so that as they sank-while-fucking, they would unexpectedly die. Whoops!

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