I know it seems awfully early to be thinking about Valentines day gift ordering with the cold chill of late-mid January still holding much of the nation in its iron grip, but hearts-and-chocolates day with (hopefully) a bit of make-an-extra-effort even-better-than-usual sex will be upon us before you know it. And while I cheerfully acknowledge that ErosBlog was long ago surpassed by a crop of knowledgeable and ridiculously expert sex toy review bloggers as a place for getting genuinely detailed information about modern sex toys, I still feel remiss in my sex-blogger duties if I don’t alert you to the major highlights of the larger holiday blowout sex toy sales.

Since ErosBlog is not fundamentally a BDSM-focused publication, I’ll limit my sale picks on the kinky side of things to a couple of the most heavily-discounted, high-ticket items that offer you the biggest potential for major savings, before moving on to slightly-more-vanilla sex toys. The first kinky bargain I want to highlight is the Joanna Angel Bondage Essentials starter kit:

The second kinky bargain is the Bolero straitjacket in festive holiday red leather. These are the special design that lets you tuck away your submissive’s arms without inhibiting access to her breasts:

(I say “her” because the makers have somewhat-explicitly gendered this design; they offer a different Bolero for men, but it doesn’t come in red and it’s not on sale.)

Moving on from toys that are explicitly kinky, the sales still have plenty to offer! My absolute favorite seasonal goody has got to be the Naughty Candy Hearts butt plugs:

Another good discount is on the KinkLab Mystic Vibe Wireless Vibrating Egg, which seems to have a lot of potential for couples fun, depending on who controls the remote:

I truly wish I’d gotten my hands on a review model of this toy before it came on sale, though, because quite a few years ago these sort of wireless eggs tended to have really weak radios and weren’t reliably responsive. KinkLab usually doesn’t anything that isn’t good, so I expect this one works as advertised. Anyway the advertising claim is impressive; they claim the remote can control the egg “from up to 10 meters away” “in an entirely different room”. That sounds good enough, anyway, to cover the really important use case, which is making your partner squirm on the other side of a table during dinner in a fancy restaurant!

Finally, because half the fun of V-Day sex is trying something new (at least if you’re dead sure it’s something both parties want to try, it’s never a good time to pull out all the gear for a surprise fantasy) I’m going to link you the Tantus Bend Over Harness Kit for Beginners, that comes with “everything a beginner sensuous player would need to strap it on” including a low-riding harness with adjustable nylons straps plus large and small silicone dildos:

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Today when I wandered over to the Stockroom website I found a poetry contest with a prize worth more than professional poets tend to make upon publication these days. The booty is a special edition pink version of their Bolero Straightjacket:

Apparently if pink doesn’t work for you as a prize, they’ll substitute a black one, or even (you fussy winner, you!) their more standard-cut Premium Leather Straightjacket. (The black Bolero has been previously featured on ErosBlog; and now they have a red version as well.)

So fire up your poetical engines and start cranking out some (un)suitable verse! “There once was a man from Nantucket…”

Er, on second thought, I’m pretty sure a limerick is not going to win this one.

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I admit it, it’s a fool’s errand trying to understand fetishes not your own. Too often it’s a hard-wiring issue: a fetish is a fetish and that’s that, no explanation possible or required.

That said, some fetishes are more mysterious to me than others. Take, for instance, the humble straight jacket:

Outside the world inhabited by violent inmates, the point of this garment sort of eludes me. Sure, it’s a bondage thing, a helplessness and (unless you’re Harry Houdini) hard-to-escape kink. But, sexual-fetish-wise, what’s the point of getting somebody all tied up if, once you’ve done it, you can’t hardly get at them?

And that’s where the implacable march of technology comes in. The world’s more intrepid sexual adventurers have invented what they are calling The Bolero Straitjacket:

Sez the catalog copy:

Sexy. Sensuous. Functional. What more could you ask for in a straitjacket? How about stylish, innovative and chic?

The Bolero Straitjacket is all of these and more in a cropped strait jacket made of high quality, light and medium weight garment leather, latigo belting and nickel-plated hardware.

Like a traditional straitjacket, it has a buckling collar and back closures in addition to the extra long glove-like sleeves that extend beyond the fingertips. The sleeves end with a small rectangular ring on one and a strap on the other.

The features that make it unique are its cropped length and the vertically and horizontally adjustable chest strap which leave nearly the entire chest and back exposed. The proper positioning assured by the cropped feature and the adjustable chest strap makes the traditional crotch strap unnecessary without sacrificing functionality as a restraint.

And just like that, boom! Problem solved. Erotic bondage will never be the same. Available in no less than four sizes for your binding pleasure.

(Sultry brunette not included.)

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