April 6th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
You’ve all heard the “joke” about the programmer/engineer who keeps a loaded gun by his printer in case it makes an unexpected noise and he needs to shoot it. I can only imagine that’s how BabserellaWT felt when her ovulation tracker suddenly demanded to know what state she was in. She wrote:
My ovulation tracker suddenly asked what state I live in
It said telling them was required to continue using the app.
The fuck it is.
I deleted it immediately. Like I’m gonna risk police showing up to my door if I miss a month due to non-pregnancy reasons.
PS BURN THE PATRIARCHY!
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April 4th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Today’s moment of joy:
The most joyous thing I’ve seen today was a man on TikTok who took a really hard look at his wife’s old monthly planners and realized she had inscribed a tiny heart on each date that they had sex. But then he asked what had happened on the other days where she drew in five tiny stars. Turns out, that was self-pleasure time…
“You always give yourself a five-star review?!?”
“Oh, honey, I just know what I like!”
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April 2nd, 2024 -- by Bacchus
For all of the embittered male jokes about once-a-year birthday blowjobs, it remains the case that enthusiastic wives give the best blowjobs, because they love their work and they have lots of practice:
For once I’m not just superimposing a marital fantasy onto an ambiguous porn photo (not that I’m above doing that). Nope, our girl is wearing her wedding ring with pride!
From Color Climax 15.
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April 1st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
That woman has blowing skillz, I’m telling you:
Grandpa says: “You should see what else she can do!”
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March 31st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
What do you get if you put a brown chicken and brown cows together?
Now you know!
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March 30th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
I think a lot of us have found ourselves in this moment of bewilderment:
This is said to be from a sign outside the Cross Inn near Cowbridge in Wales. The chalkboard text reads:
My wife screamed “You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?”
I was taken aback. What a weird way to start a conversation!
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March 28th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Saw this circulating without attribution on social media:
The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
The girl said “No!”
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and whiskey and had loads of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END.
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