ErosBlog

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Bartering For Rent, Again

Monday, November 11th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

After last month’s photo essay of a landlady collecting her rent in the form of kinky sex, this cartoon of a similar mutually-enthusiastic arrangement seems apropos.

naked woman offering herself cheerfully at the front door to her landlord who came around looking for a rent payment

It comes from the 1960 Adam Annual magazine.

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Naked Trump Statue

Saturday, October 5th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

statue of a fat and naked Donald Trump

Did you see the story last week about the giant (43 feet tall) naked statue of Donald Trump that got installed beside the highway near Las Vegas by some art activists? The artwork is titled “Naked And Obscene.” Some of the usual MAGA suspects are quoted as claiming that the artists are “demons”, that the statue “is designed to incite violence”, and that Trump, if/when reelected, “should jail” everyone involved.

tall forklift installing a giant statue of nude Donald Trump

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Why Rich Men Buy Boats

Tuesday, November 28th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

It’s good to have yacht bunnies who are committed to the naked life at sea, even when things get so chilly that she needs a warm fuzzy hat while she delivers your coffee.

nude boat bunny with stiff nipples and a warm hat holds out a cup of hot coffee to her naked captain

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A Wedding At Nudist Camp

Saturday, November 11th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Speaking as we just were about people who need a frosting management strategy, this happy nude couple cutting their wedding cake have it pretty easy. No matter how much cake they rub on their bodies, cleanup is a simple matter of lips and tongues!

naked wedding cake cutting

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Dreaming Of Large Women

Tuesday, November 7th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Dee Siren nude in a field

There’s a scene in The Princess Bride where the Dread Pirate Roberts has just bested Fezzic the giant in hand-to-hand combat. He tells the unconscious Fezzik “Sleep well, and dream of large women.” As if we don’t all have those dreams?

Lexie looks happy to see you

One of the things I really like about having been (at least tangentially) in the porn business for a couple of decades now is all the ways it has gotten better, or at least somewhat less toxic. Porn stars were all super-skinny once, or they were very large women indeed, described by offensive keywords not fit to print in this space, and treated as hyper-niche fetish material.

Lorna Blu sticks her thick booty out

Progress, however, does happen. Nowadays there’s a considerable array of different body types we can see in porn, and we also have words like “thick” (or “thicc”) that can be, and routinely are, used to describe bigger-than-cocaine-chic bodies with unfettered admiration. It’s hard to explain how refreshing that is, or how utterly absent from our discourses about beauty such words used to be.

Arianna Sinn sits seductively

It’s good to live in a time when nude thick women like the ones in this post are as easy to find online as any other body type. I’m not saying the porn industry is uniformly kind to models who diverge from the petite old-school norms, because I’m sure that’s not true. But using words of admiration to categorize them on a porn site is a huge improvement from the days when the only available keywords and descriptors were deliberately judgmental and offensive.

Sexy Syntia on the kitchen table

Here on ErosBlog I have something of a knee-jerk reaction that usually prevents me from lumping women (porn models or not) into subjective keyword categories. If, as here, I take a set of images from a site that describes them all as “thick”, that’s one thing; but doing it myself feels like an objectification too far. I won’t look at a photo of a darker-skinned woman and try to ascribe to her an ethnicity or racial category based on her appearance, either, although I may well transcribe and report such categorizations that others have attempted. It’s just not a job I’m good at, or comfortable attempting. But more importantly, it’s not a job that ever feels very important to me. I suppose you might say that I prefer to enjoy female beauty without feeling the need to box it up and lump it into a category.

Zafiro Herrera shows off her fine bodacious booty

Models in the photos, from top to bottom, are: Dee Siren, Lexie, Lorna Blu, Arianna Sinn, Syntia, and Zafiro Herrera.

NakedPornPics banner 512x30

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Tidepool Treasure

Wednesday, September 13th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

Look what we found in the tide pool! Can we bring it home and keep it?

woman kneels in a tidepool among the kelp and algae with her pussy popped out

From FemJoy.

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Maureen O’Hara Rides As Lady Godiva

Thursday, June 8th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

We can forgive her the body stocking, I think:

filming Maureen O'Hara as Lady Godiva, naked looking on a horse

Via Kinky Delight, this is Maureen O’Hara filming a scene for the 1955 movie Lady Godiva of Coventry. Here’s the movie poster:

Lady Godiva of Coventry movie poster

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William Tell’s Tantalizing Target

Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 -- by Bacchus

In August of 1973 this uncredited cartoon appeared in California Girl magazine. It blends the legend of William Tell with the vaudevillian tradition of having a pretty girl way too fucking close to the action when demonstrating feats of accuracy for entertainment purposes:

pinup cartoon of a pretty naked girl with attractive tan lines and a bubble butt leaning against an archery target with spent arrows all around

The caption reads “You want to shoot an apple off my WHAT?”

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Dances With Leaves

Friday, December 2nd, 2022 -- by Bacchus

There’s a cold winter wind blowing oak leaves against my window tonight, so it’s a perfect time to post this classic autumnal art by Herouard, perhaps for the French magazine La Vie Parisienne:

naked lady dancing among dead leaves on a chilly windy autumn day

Dance, lady, dance!

(Meanwhile there are six lines of French poetry on the full page with this art. I’m not crazy enough to attempt a machine translation, but if anybody wants a stab at it, the comments are open!)

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Feral Woman Of The Woods

Friday, October 7th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

She had enough. She got a tattoo, threw away her clothes, and ran away to the woods. She’s much happier now:

nude feral forest woman with an arm tattoo

This is a vintage stereogram aka stereograph card, if I’m not mistaken. No solid idea on the date.

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A Sexy Nude At Sunset

Saturday, September 10th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

If you are the sort of fast-talking rogue with a silver tongue who can charm his pretty blonde wife into going with you for a sunset stroll along the lake shore wearing nothing but a sexy pair of knee-high leather boots, you might as well convince her to pose for a special photograph to memorialize the occasion:

beautiful blonde naturist posing nude at sunset

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Skinny-Dipping With Dolly

Tuesday, July 19th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

This fetching graphic of a nude bather is said to be from a 1904 edition of The Memoirs Of Dolly Morton:

skinnydipping with dolly morton

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A Cloak Is Enough

Saturday, July 16th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

Wearing nothing but a poorly-fastened cloak is perhaps a bit dashing and daring, but who would complain?

nude with short blonde hair wearing a cloak and nothing else

Photo is from the Manasse studio in Vienna, which dates it to the 1920s or 1930s.

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Climbing On The Fancy Furniture

Sunday, June 12th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

When Natalia was a little girl, she was more of a tomboy than you would suspect, and was always climbing on the museum-quality furniture in her wealthy parents’ house. Her mother rightly despaired of ever getting her to stop. Eventually, Natalia grew up and moved on to other fancy houses, where she learned an essential truth: “If you’re pretty enough, they let you do it!”

nude girl on a fancy end table showing off her meaty cunt lips

The model is Natalia G from Met-Art.

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Lady Godiva Visits A Dude Ranch

Wednesday, June 8th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

The first time our famous nude equestrienne arrived at the dude ranch, the cowboys had to explain Western-style bareback riding to her:

comical vintage postcard nude on horseback

Comic postcards used to be so much fun back in the day!

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Location, Location, Nice Ass

Friday, May 27th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

The old house down on Dunes Road looks a little weather-beaten. Or, OK, maybe a lot weather-beaten. Certainly it needs some shingles and a coat of paint. But when she saw it, she had to buy it, because it’s really handy to the nude beach:

naked woman with a sweet bare booty climbing the steps to an old run down house

The shot is by photographer Scott Church.

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Cathy Rigby, Nude In Sports Illustrated

Wednesday, May 25th, 2022 -- by Bacchus

Fifty years ago, this photograph was considered pretty scandalous:

Olympic athlete and gymnast Cathy Rigby naked on a balance beam in Sports Illustrated

Some sources say it was the first nude photo ever to appear in Sports Illustrated. I don’t know if that’s true, but this photo of Olympian and US National Champion gymnast Cathy Rigby absolutely did appear in the August 21, 1972 issue, illustrating a story titled Sugar And Spice — And Iron. The photographer Jerry Cooke took the shot as part of his Bodies In Motion series, celebrating Olympic athletes as the epitome of perfect bodies in sports. I’d say Cathy was a great choice!

P.S. ErosBlog readers are always advised to click on images that appear here. Very often the images are linked to additional information — sometimes a gallery of similar photos, sometimes a larger and less-cropped version that offers additional context. In this case, you will see a hand-lettered caption by the photographer that says “Look but don’t touch!”

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After Her Winter Plunge

Sunday, December 26th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

It’s the correct time of year for polar bear plunges and skinny-dipping cooldowns at sauna parties. And if that gives her a chance to show off the prettiest ass in the district, so much the better! The undignified dash for towel and clothes is always a temptation, but sometimes one must slow down and deliver the spectacle by which one was blessed by nature:

nude striding away from her winter plunge hole in the ice and showing off her incredibly sweet butt

Via Kinky Delight.

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Her Red Rubber Swim Cap

Wednesday, December 8th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a fine vintage photo for all whose fetish enthusiasms include an appreciation of the classic rubber swimming cap. Although there’s much else to appreciate in this photograph:

red swimming cap on a pretty naked skinny dipping bather

Via Kinky Delight.

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Naked Lesbian Gamer Girls

Friday, September 24th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

I don’t suppose it’s fair to suggest that four naked ladies having a drinking and gaming party are necessarily lesbians. It could be that they are just extremely comfortable:

gaming party for four naked gamergirls

Art is by Underrock, who has a Patreon.

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She’s Snow Angel

Friday, September 17th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Don’t you just love those bright spring days when the sunshine warms the air, but the snow is still heavy on the ground? Our snow angel here surely does!

she may be no angel but this pretty lady is definitely a nude snow angel

From a long-ago tumblr.

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Jealous Wives At A Cocktail Party

Sunday, August 22nd, 2021 -- by Bacchus

These catty wives aren’t happy with the enterprising nude who is monopolizing their husbands’ attention. But do you see them doing anything to compete? You do not!

naked babe is the hit of the cocktail party but the other wives are not amused

Cartoon is from a 1957 issue of After Hours magazine. The signature appears to be that of Cal Massey, perhaps most famous for his comic book art.

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Pornocalypse Ho!

Sunday, July 25th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

The #Pornocalypse comes for us all — even mild-mannered gardeners!

nude woman gardening with a hoe

No lesser source than the Associated Press reported out this sad tale of a New York state gardening group that was put at risk of deletion by too many automatic robot-moderation flags for the word “hoe”, which Facebook apparently thinks means the same thing as “ho”.

Moderating a Facebook gardening group in western New York is not without challenges. There are complaints of wooly bugs, inclement weather and the novice members who insist on using dish detergent on their plants.

And then there’s the word “hoe.”

Facebook’s algorithms sometimes flag this particular word as “violating community standards,” apparently referring to a different word, one without an “e” at the end that is nonetheless often misspelled as the garden tool.

Normally, Facebook’s automated systems will flag posts with offending material and delete them. But if a group’s members — or worse, administrators — violate the rules too many times, the entire group can get shut down.

Elizabeth Licata, one of the group’s moderators, was worried about this.

When a group member commented “Push pull hoe!” on a post asking for “your most loved & indispensable weeding tool,” Facebook sent a notification that said “We reviewed this comment and found it goes against our standards for harassment and bullying.”

“And so I contacted Facebook, which was useless. How do you do that?” she said. “You know, I said this is a gardening group, a hoe is gardening tool.”

Licata said she never heard from a person and Facebook, and found navigating the social network’s system of surveys and ways to try to set the record straight was futile.

Contacted by The Associated Press, a Facebook representative said in an email this week that the company found the group and corrected the mistaken enforcements. It also put an extra check in place, meaning that someone — an actual person — will check offending posts before the group is considered for deletion.

“We have plans to build out better customer support for our products and to provide the public with even more information about our policies and how we enforce them,” Facebook said in a statement in response to Licata’s complaints.

Note, however, that Facebook did not promise a better way to get in touch than to have an Associated Press reporter make phone calls.

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The Sunbathers

Saturday, July 17th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

When you’re a pinup artist like Norman Pett, pretty girls soaking up some sun on a warm beach make very practical subjects:

two pretty nude sunbathers

From Pett’s Annual (1944).

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A Chance Elevator Encounter

Saturday, July 10th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

You never know what you’ll encounter at the elevator banks of a busy building. Why, you might even see a nude when the doors open:

a nude painting in an elevator

Cartoon is by Charles Rodrigues, from the June 1963 issue of Bachelor magazine.

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Gilda Texter As Motorcycle Godiva

Friday, June 25th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

If I am not mistaken, the modern motorized Lady Godiva is Gilda Texter, in the 1971 movie Vanishing Point:

gilda texter nude on a honda motorcycle

gilda texter naked in Vanishing Point

Although Gilder Texter appeared in several movies, Wikipedia has her principal occupation as “costume designer”. Which makes it, I think, hilarious and ironic that she’s totally nude (except for sandals) in this movie!

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Sophia Loren, Uncensored

Sunday, May 23rd, 2021 -- by Bacchus

I don’t know whether this ad in the back pages of the September 1959 Spree magazine was a complete ripoff, or if the “sensational” “daring” and “uncensored” photo collection on offer actually included something from the only real set of Sophia Loren topless photos ever made, for the one 1951 semi-nude movie scene that demanded it of her. My guess would be “ripoff” but we’ll never know now:

magazine ad for lurid photos supposedly including Sophia Loren

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She’s Out Of Firewood

Saturday, April 10th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

An early post on ErosBlog was titled He Send His Wife To Get Firewood and that means the obvious joke about getting wood is no longer available to caption this amateur erotic photo with:

naked woman splitting wood in the dark in the snow

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Chilly Blonde

Thursday, February 4th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

I have a lot of admiration for all-season nudists, but I don’t think I could do it myself. This blonde seems to be enjoying her snowy winter stroll, though:

naked blonde strolling down an icy road on a winter snow day

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Pearls For Her

Wednesday, September 30th, 2020 -- by Bacchus

This 1924 photo of a Parisian cabaret dancer by Lucien Waléry is called “String Of Pearls”. If pressed on the question, you’d probably have to admit that you, too, would like to give her a pearl necklace:

nude dancer with a lot of pearls

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Elvis Makes Her Nipples Hard

Monday, September 14th, 2020 -- by Bacchus

Music fans aren’t what they used to be, are they?

naked elvis fan wearing 45 rpm records on her nipples

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Caught In His Web

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020 -- by Bacchus

white spider nude in web movie poster

This vintage movie poster is for the 1927 silent movie The White Spider. I got it from the late and much-lamented Drake’s Way tumblr.

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Why Rich Men Buy Boats

Monday, August 31st, 2020 -- by Bacchus

I don’t know how much actual sailing our hypothetical rich man is gonna get done with this nude in his rigging, but you know every spy-glass in the harbor is trained on his boat!

nude woman in the rigging of a sailboat

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Love Is Fleeting?

Sunday, August 23rd, 2020 -- by Bacchus

The juxtaposition of nudity and skeletons is an old theme in art and photography. A bunch of people seemed to have thought they were saying something profound about mortality, youth, love, and so forth. I’m not sure they ever really pulled it off, but at least it brought us this pretty naked lady on the same couch as a skeleton:

nude and skeleton on couch

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And So The Story Ends

Tuesday, July 21st, 2020 -- by Bacchus

That’s the title of this artwork: And So The Story Ends. It dates from 1927, is by Charles Wheeler, and hangs in the Art Gallery of South Australia. At some point they must have done a nice restoration or cleaning, because all of the other internet photos of this canvas lack the vibrant colors that the gallery photo displays:

nude with a pretty butt reads a pulp magazine

I don’t mind admitting I’m more interested in the “end” than I am in the story, but just for my friend Dr. Faustus, here’s a full zoom on the magazine she’s reading. I was hoping to find out what kind of pulp magazine that is, but no joy:

what pulp magazine is this pretty nude reading?

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German Swamp Witches

Thursday, July 16th, 2020 -- by Bacchus

When we think “witches dancing naked in a circle” we usually think “in a forest” or “around a bonfire” or “in the moonlight”. Such is the power of folklore. Somehow, the swamp witches of Germany have been utterly forgotten…

five naked white women holding hands and dancing in a circle in ankle-deep water

More seriously, this is an image that appeared in a 1930s Nazi-approved book celebrating the naked body. Per this article, body pride (in Aryan bodies only, duh, because Nazis are assholes) was seen as essential “to build a strong and self-confident race.”

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Anointing The Communicants

Friday, November 2nd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

I have long been aware that in the early history of the Mormon church they were the target of an enormous amount of anti-Mormon propaganda, but it was not until I saw some of the text in the 1883 book from which the following illustration is taken that I was aware how much it was bound up with sexual panic and charges of licentiousness:

mormon anointing

The above fairly harmless drawing is captioned “Anointing Communicants In The Endowment House (Representing The Ceremony As Performed By The Mormons At Nauvoo)” but the accompanying prose is considerably over the top:

In the administration of the endowment ceremonies, males and females were compelled to subordinate any native modesty they might have. The women repaired to a chamber where their clothing was all removed; they then passed in nude condition to the anointing room, where a priestess received them; they were there baptized in a tub, and then anointed with olive oil until their flesh was as slick as a Guinea negro’s. Those who know of the secret practices of the priesthood declare that Smith and his colleagues had a peephole made in the side of this endowment room, through which they studied the physical attributes of female communicants, so as to inform themselves fully concerning the desirableness of new spiritual wives. This ceremonial proceeding led to beastiality with all naturalness…

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Why Rich Men Buy Boats

Tuesday, August 28th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

nude tanning on the front bit of a sailboat

From Lui magazine, May 1977.

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The Pleasure Of A Good Float

Monday, August 20th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Just floating in the sun, eyes closed, tending to her own business:

woman touches herself while floating in the sunshine

Photo is from July 1977 edition of the German magazine Lui.

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Good Liquor, Dubious Men, And Unlucky Cards

Thursday, August 2nd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

I’m not sure if this vintage art photo postcard by Irina Ionesco is intended to suggest a woman on her death bed, but something about the scattered playing cards and the transparent shroud speak to me of a lifetime of utterly unrepentant hedonism:

nude reclining under a transparent shroud surrounded by playing cards

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Playing With The Thorns

Thursday, April 26th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

She’s toying with this rose as if it had no thorns at all. Rubbing it against her body, running her fingers along the stem… Do you really want to tell me she’s not just even just a tiny bit of a masochist?

dreamy nude rubbing her pussy with a thorny rose

The artwork is by Victor Karlovich Shtemberg (1863-1921), about whom very damned little information seems readily available, at least in English. He painted in St. Petersburg, and he did a lot of portraits when he wasn’t painting nudes. The title of this 1900 piece is usually given as “A Sitting Nude.”

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Naked Sandy, Dead Sandy

Saturday, April 14th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

ta-da! Sandy is dropping her dress to show off her boobs half-naked and topless

Meet Sandy! In 1975, when this full-color French-language Terrificolor: Les pions maudits horror comic was published by Elvifrance, an impetuously-naked blonde like her could only have one fate. And thus, or “inévitablement” as the comic lettering has it, she does in the end get her head cut off by a haunted set of empty armor. But not before we get to enjoy her nakedness in several more perky panels:

sandy lets her dress pool about her feet

naked sandy runs into the haunted house to die in the nude

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Topless Frenchwomen Fighting

Saturday, April 7th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

The traditional slang for an informal open-handed fight between women — especially one where, at least in the male imagination, clothing is lost or removed — is a “catfight”, presumably because of the assumption that fingernails will be deployed and that scratching is likely. There’s a lot of sexism built into the notion of a catfight (cf. “hits like a girl”) but it goes deep in a culture where at least some boys are taught to make a fist and throw a punch while, perhaps, their sisters are not.

french women fighting topless

Be all that as it may, the topless female fighting in the September 1986 edition of Les drolesses #19: Sans dessus dessous from Elvifrance is just a bit more formal, taking place in a ring as a public entertainment with at least a verbal nod toward an Asian martial art:

bar fighting topless frenchwomen

topless french karate women

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Topless Bull Leaping

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Sure. Yeah. Why not? I’d pay a drachma on a hot day to sit in the shade and watch pretty topless girls play leapfrog with pissed-off bulls. I mean, as long as the girls were good at it; I wouldn’t really want to see anybody get hurt. And if this was all just the warm-up to some fancypants shithead coming out with a sword to do some bull-murdering, then, no:

nude bull jumping

Artwork is from the cover of the January 1952 Fate magazine, advertising a story headlined The Bull Leapers of Crete. I blogged a chunk of this art ten years ago from a modern source, perhaps a CD cover, which had repurposed it without attribution.

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Georgia, Waiting For Her Sandwich

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

I am in receipt of the “all bodies are beautiful” memorandum, oh yes, and mostly I appreciate its sentiments. But we remain who we are, and who am I? I am a man who, upon seeing a woman beyond a certain degree of slimness, cannot resist the urge to imagine that she might be waiting for me to hand her a toasted sandwich. This 1918 photograph of Georgia O’Keeffe, taken by Alfred Stieglitz, definitely triggers that impulse:

Georgia O'Keeffe nude

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A Chat With The Fairy Queen

Tuesday, February 6th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

When the Fairy Queen says “Awake! Arise!” well, I guess you’d better wake and rise:

poetry illustration: bare-breasted queen mab descends to wake up a naked sleeping Ianthe

The artwork is signed somewhat indistinctly (see the larger size for a better view of the signature) but I believe the signature is “Frank T. Merrill” for American illustrator Frank Thayer Merrill. The art comes from the version of “Queen Mab” found within this 1904 edition of The Complete Works of Percy Bysshe Shelley. It seems to illustrate these lines from the poem:

From her celestial car
The Fairy Queen descended,
And thrice she waved her wand
Circled with wreaths of amaranth:
Her thin and misty form
Moved with the moving air.
And the clear silver tones,
As thus she spoke, were such
As are unheard by all but gifted ear.

Soul of Ianthe!
Awake ! arise !
Sudden arose
Ianthe’s Soul; it stood
All beautiful in naked purity.
The perfect semblance of its bodily frame.
Instinct with inexpressible beauty and grace.
Each stain of earthliness
Had passed away, it reassumed
Its native dignity, and stood
Immortal amid ruin.

Upon the couch the body lay
Wrapt in the depth of slumber…

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Topless On A Kawasaki

Wednesday, December 20th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

I’m not sure why you would bother with a scarf when neglecting so much other clothing and essential motorcycle safety gear, but in the world of pulp cover art, it’s all about the image, is it not so?

nude naked boobs bare on a powerful motorcycle

This one is from the cover of Hypersexy #20.

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Dance And Play

Wednesday, November 29th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

medieval manuscript naked pagan party illustrations

medieval manuscript illuminated nudes dancing and singing and playing instruments

This is not Maurice Sendak illustrating A Good Time Among The Wild Pagans; in fact the images are from from a medieval illuminated manuscript in the Hague, about which I can’t tell you much more because the database links there are broken and don’t lead anywhere. From context and some of the other captions, I’m guessing these are Roman pagan revels as imagined by sneering medieval churchmen, but I could be eight kinds of wrong. Looks like reasonably good partying to me!

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“Hey, Mister, Wanna Fight?”

Monday, October 30th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

topless vintage woman wearing boxing gloves

I came across this topless boxing cutie while researching the faux-vintage pumpkin flapper photos yesterday. Our boxing babe, I think, may genuinely be vintage in her origins.

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That Burlesque Halloween Flapper Chick

Sunday, October 29th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

cute flapper skeleton dancer with a pumpkin and a black cat

A little while ago when @whoresofyore tweeted the above photo out under the hashtag #VintageHalloween I knew I was finally going to have to get off my ass and get this shit in order. I thought I might get something special for my patrons out of it (which didn’t happen, in the event) but mostly I just couldn’t take it any more.

Here is (was) my problem.

I’ve been seeing that photo (and several more from the same series) every Halloween for many years. And why not? The flapper-esque blonde is cute as a button, her tits are perky, and the burlesque Halloween thing is too fun and cute and Betty Boop not to love.

cute flapper nude dancer mugging with a jack-o-lantern pumpkin

So, my first-stage reaction was “I need to track down that whole series of photos. It would make an awesome Halloween gallery. And if it’s really as old as the some of the clues would indicate, it’s bloody amazing; I want to know more about where these photos come from!”

Sadly, my second-thoughts reaction was “There’s something wrong here. The Halloween iconography is too modern; this is 1950s cheesecake pinup staged as late 1930s burlesque produced with 1920 flappers published by 1900s postcard publishers. Just a whole mishmash of subtle anachronisms.”

My particular problem was with the ghosts and bats and jack-o-lanterns and black cat and happy-skeleton stuff all brought together in one display. You see all of these elements in Halloween imagery going back at least to the Victorians, but a comic erotic burlesque of them? My first mental/visual reference for a thing like that would be the painted cheesecake pinups of the late 1940s and early 1950s. I would be really excited to find them all in a real-photo pinup postcard series from then, but from decades earlier as these photos superficially appear to be? That would be…astonishing.

bare breasted nudie flapper burlesque dancer poses with one foot on a halloween pumpkin

But hey, a cynical skepticism, no matter how well-informed, is no substitute for doing the work, which for a project like this is quite considerable. Basically, my method is recursive image searching; I start with the first image, and while searching for the largest, best, most-original scan of it, I also look for any pages that offer any provenance, and I also look at all of the “similar images” that the image search engines throw up, saving anything else from the series that turns up. And then I proceed through each of those in stepwise fashion, doing the same for them. It’s a slow, often-tedious, and painstaking process.

There were early indications that something was hinky about this image set.

comical burlesque stripper pinup Halloween shadow play with ghost bat pumpkin skeleton black cat and nude naked topless flapper retro blonde cutie

One thing that bothered me was that diamond “MG” logo. It’s very much like the logos used by photo postcard publishers going back to the turn of the twentieth century and before. Only, a logo like that is typically the initials of the publisher, it’s a handy reference, and it’s usually easy to Google. Those two letters in quotes, “postcard”, and Bob’s your uncle. Collectors and auctioneers are all over that shit. Here? Nothing.

Another thing that bothered me was that as an iron rule, the best-quality scans I was turning up were always 805 pixels wide. That indicated a common digital place of entry onto the internet. Theoretically possible if these photos were from, say, a set of postcards in the hands of a collector, with no other exemplars known; but in practice, usually genuine vintage photos exist in a wide variety of (usually small and terrible) scans of different sizes.

valentines day at halloween as burlesque cutie hides behind heart shaped cardboard skeleton head

More subtly but also damning, no provenance for any of the photos from the set was turning up. They were widely distributed in copy-and-paste collections of vintage photos, usually mixed with genuine vintage photographs from the “French postcard” and burlesque eras. But nobody had ever taken the time to curate these together into a common gallery. This could just an artifact of digital decay (there’s an awful lot of the adult internet gone missing from the 1997-2007 era) but sometimes it means that the source was known and that the folks doing the copy-and-paste felt constrained from acknowledging that source. But why, if the photos were truly vintage?

bump and grind cartoon halloween burlesque faux vintage stripper routine

bare tits stripper vintage nudie postcard halloween bats ghosts skeleton burlesque

As is usually the case, there was just one clue, a single fragile provenance, one person who took the time to drop a credit, that broke the entire mysterious case wide open. One of these images, on a Tumblr that has not yet gotten autoflagged and force-vanished behind the Verizon #pornocalypse Tumblr-porn event horizon, had a link credit to a Deviant Art source, where the photo had been posted more than a dozen years ago by a photographer from the Ukraine who has not been back to DeviantArt since 2005. The photographer went by “MGstudio” (note those “MG” initials) and gave their URL as marthasgirls.com in their DeviantArt profile. Martha’s Girls is a website I vaguely remember; it’s defunct now, but for many years and until sometime in 2016, it ran an old-fashioned subscription paysite selling “The finest emulations of vintage erotica and pin-up, spanning the period from the Victorian times to the 50s pin-up era.” Ding ding ding ding DING! The mystery is solved.

Ukrainian faux fake retro erotica postcards nude flapper posing for Halloween

MG Martha's Girls topless flapper fake faux retro postcard erotica nude posing with halloween jack-o-lantern pumpkin

So these are modern, not vintage; they are a formerly-available commercial porn product by an unknown photographer from Dnipropetrovsk whose artistry I quite admire. My hope is that by assembling them here, it will be less likely for future enthusiasts to make the all-too-easy mistake of believing them to be vintage. If you know of more photos from this series, please let me know!

kneeling burlesque cutie hides her tits behind a jackolantern pumpkin

halloween pumpkin kisses goodbye

Happy Halloween, and enjoy!

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The Best Pit Stop

Monday, September 25th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

The male motorists along this stretch of highway have favorite places to buy gasoline. This is one of them, and it’s not hard to see why:

trench coat blonde opens car hood

vintage nude gasoline filling station girl pumps gas

I don’t have any provenance for these photos except to say they they are probably European, judging by the unfamiliar licence numbering scheme. They were in an old vintage-photos download folder of mine, probably via Usenet a dozen or more years ago. I’m hoping someone will recognize the auto or the license (or the woman or the photographer) and help me narrow it down to a country at least.

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Table Dancing For Tired Businessmen

Monday, August 14th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

table dancer

This cute table-dancer cartoon is a detail from one of the editorial pages in Snappy, a magazine from November 1937.

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Naked Bubble Party

Tuesday, February 7th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

As all know, handing out bubble wands is a great way to liven up any kind of party:

vintage nude photos of girls blowing bubbles

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Witchy Bettie

Monday, October 31st, 2016 -- by Bacchus

Presenting the inimitable Bettie Page, preparing for Halloween festivities. Note how her broomstick is polished to a high shine!

betty page is a very entrancing witch with a well-polished broomstick and an entrancing thigh gap

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Naked Discus Hurling

Monday, September 19th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

A return to classical (lack of) costumes ought to be the major innovation of the Olympic Games in the 21st century. It would surely do wonders to restore the flagging viewership:

nude female discus thrower

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Naked On A Honda

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2016 -- by Bacchus

She’s wearing a helmet, from which we may conclude she’s not completely unconscious of motorcycle safety issues. Yet I think the very first item of safety gear I would choose for mostly-naked cycling would be some sort of shoes:

nude rides honda motorcycle

Found at Vintage Cuties; the model may be Lois Mitchel.

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Nothing Rides Like A Deere

Sunday, April 10th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

Do you suppose he found her on (sing it with me, you’ve seen the TV commercials!) Farmers Only Dot Com?

naked-mowing

Photo is called Mowing The Garden Of Eden and is by photographer Dan Still.

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Belly Dancing: Pure Sex

Monday, March 7th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

The American women I have known who belly dance as hobbyists (and I’ve known several) have each had a quirky thing in common. At the drop of a sequin, or at the first hint of a risqué comment, or sometimes with no provocation whatsoever, any of them would deliver a stiff-necked and puritanical little speech about the venerable art of belly dance.

sexy blonde belly dancer in bra and coin belt

Belly dancing, they would proclaim, is an utterly non-sexual practice. What’s more, they would have you know, belly dance “in its proper cultural and historical context” has nothing whatsoever to do with stripping, and even less than nothing to do with any of the more intimate models of sex-work. (These were 1990s women, though, so they didn’t say “sex work.” They said “prostitution”, loading each syllable with disgust.)

topless bellydancer

Festooned with their coin belts and sequined bras and tasseled shawls and fringed wraps and at least the proverbial seven layers of veils, any of these women could almost sell you this load of sex-negative codswallop. But when they’d go back out on the dance floor and start to shimmy, the spell would break. Whatever its “proper historical and cultural context” may be, belly dance with all of its artifices and accouterments is manifestly a time-tested and well-honed technology for raising and hardening the penises of men.

nude belly dancer dancing

If you require further evidence of this straightforward proposition, I offer you the photographs illustrating this post. Our belly dancing model goes by the unlikely name of Kissa Sins, and as her photos make clear, she definitely does not view belly dancing as an art that’s in any way distinct from its power to arouse!

belly-dancing seduction

You can find Kissa’s belly dance seduction and blowjob performance as the second-to-last scene on Happy Endings Volume 2 from Brazzers Studios.

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Slide Down My Banister

Tuesday, January 12th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

She’s all grown up, but she’s not so grown up she can’t slide down the banister when she thinks nobody is looking:

naked banister sliding

Photo is by RSH Photography.

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Nude Outing For Ice Cream

Monday, October 12th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

It’s just another day in San Francisco! Marie decides to take a naked scamper down the street to buy a waffle cone, but along the way, she meets a huge friendly dog and makes a new friend:

naked marie spies a friendly doberman or rottweiler dog

nude marie making friends with a huge dog

marie goes into an ice cream shop and buys a waffle cone in the nude

Photos are from Nude In San Francisco.

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Nudes On The Rocks

Tuesday, August 25th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

It’s not the best beach in the world, but the company is excellent:

1930s-nude-bathers

From Tumblr, where it’s said to date from 1938.

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Jacqomo In Jail

Sunday, July 26th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Jacqomo is in a very special prison. Sorry, I don’t think they are selling tickets for visitors:

jacqomo behind bars

jacqomo in the crowbar hotel

From The Life Erotic.

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Probably Not Audrey Hepburn Nude

Sunday, July 12th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

This is all over Tumblr and Pinterest with versions of the same caption: “Audrey Hepburn getting ready for an outdoor bath while vacationing at Côte d’Azur 1956.” I want to believe, and so do you:

hepburn-nude

My problem is twofold. First of all, posing nude would have been out of character for what I know of Aubrey Hepburn. (And despite several random internet captions suggesting this was a paparazzi shot, it’s posed or I’ll eat that fine lady’s bath beads.) Second, whenever I spot essentially the same caption on a hundred different social media instances of an image, I smell a rat.

Finally, I’ve found a counter-provenance that seems more plausible. The same photo appears here in a collection of nudes (models not identified) attributed to photographer André de Dienes.

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Nudist Camp Crew Team

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

Did you know they had competitive rowing events at nudist camps? Me neither:

nude women's crew team

Via Kinky Delight.

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The Naked Orchestra

Sunday, March 15th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

You know those dreams where you’re on stage about to make some public speech or performance? Only, you don’t have any pants? It can actually happen:

Naked conductor conducts nude musical orchestral performance

naked orchestra musicians do nude performance

rear view of naked musicians in a nude orchestra

Horny much?  Nude brass section of naked orchestra

naked conductor of a nude orchestra takes a bow

Pictures found here. But the best explanation I could discover comes from here, and I hope you’ll blame Google for the uncertainties of the machine translation:

Japan set up a college band naked woman

According to friends broke the news recently, a group of Internet widespread naked woman is said to be in a college band in Japan pictures. The group picture shows, this university is naked girl band performances, the audience packed. But there are knowledgeable users claimed that this group of pictures actually director for Japan Morikawa Kei Japanese AV Actress composed by the so-called “Stark Naked Orchestra”, not what college woman orchestra!

Japanese publicity stunt for an AV idol sounds about right to me. Although a genuine naked orchestra might not be a bad way to sell classical music to the masses!

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Marsha Naked At The Park

Friday, January 9th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

I’m sure the park at Candlestick Point in San Francisco is a scenic place all by itself. But the scenery lights up even more when Nude In San Francisco takes Marsha there for a naked hike:

marsha streaking naked at candlestick park

marsha nude outside candlestick park

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Naked Sword-Fighting

Wednesday, December 10th, 2014 -- by Bacchus

This looks like fun, but I’m not sure these nudist fencers are wearing enough safety equipment:

nudists-fencing

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A Skinny-Dipping Boat Excursion

Friday, December 5th, 2014 -- by Bacchus

From now on whenever I see four women in a boat I am gonna assume this is what they are planning on doing just as soon as they reach a secluded cove:

vintage postcard of four women stripping nude and diving out of a boat to go swimming naked

Update: Commenter Hug has offered links leading to a nice color version of this artwork by Harald Slott-Møller:

nude women bathing as painted by Harald Slott-Møller

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A Nun Airs Out Her Girls

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014 -- by Bacchus

Kinky Delight brings us this detail from a vintage erotic stereo card of a nun baring her breasts to the breezes on a hot day a long time ago:

vintage nun at a window with bare breasts to catch the cool breezes

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Women In Armor

Monday, November 3rd, 2014 -- by Bacchus

It’s been trendy for some years now to offer feminist critiques of the way women are depicted wearing armor in fantasy settings. But apparently the problem is not all that new:

women-in-armor

Photo is from Wicked Knickers, but it must have a context. That this context is unknown to me? A source of unreasoning angst so great that I may yet be devoured by it.

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Trick Or Treat, Motherfucker!

Friday, October 31st, 2014 -- by Bacchus

This sort of thing is why I usually stay in on All Hallows Eve:

scary halloween nude with a machete and glowing pumpkin head

All I know about this image is that I found it here.

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Nudists Play Some Ping-Pong

Friday, October 24th, 2014 -- by Bacchus

nudists about to play some ping pong

It’s just a friendly game of naked table tennis. But I think she digs him.

From the photographic style, I’d say this is from one of the many nudist/naturist magazines that used to be available.

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Naked Lady On A Bicycle

Sunday, July 6th, 2014 -- by Bacchus

Back in the day, when bicycles were tall and riding outfits extra-skimpy:

nude-on-bicycle

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Noodle Goddess

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014 -- by Bacchus

There’s a sport in much of the southern United States called noodling. It usually involves shoving your bare hand into a submerged hole and then grabbing whichever of Gollum’s friends you find living there, right after said nasty slithery beast has just bitten you defensively. As for me, I have avoided the sport. Then, too, my understanding is that the dress code runs mostly to cut-off overalls and armless undershirts. But now I have some new data:

noodle-goddess

Now I may have to take it up.

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It Must Be Spring

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014 -- by Bacchus

It must be spring…because the naturists are out!

vintage photo of lesbian naturists playing out-of-doors

Since this is the month in which Arbor Day falls, I feel compelled to comment on the loveliness of that enormous tree.

Photo via Vintage Lust.

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Up Periscope!

Sunday, March 16th, 2014 -- by Bacchus

When Dr. Faustus commented on the previous post by observing “All very interesting, but I’m waiting to see a U-boat on these premises” I took it as a challenge. Even treating “U-boat” as a generic signifier for submarines (which is cheating) this turned out to be a surprisingly difficult request, presumably because submarines are expensive military equipment and navies of the world take a dim view of naked female shenanigans involving them. Nonetheless, I finally hit pay dirt in the form of an unattributed ImageFap gallery (hostile javascript warning, back button disabled) featuring numerous photos of three pretty women in and out of uniforms and inside what looks to be a mothballed museum sub:

up-periscope

There’s just the hint of sign visible in one photo that makes me think the sub in question may be the USS Marlin, currently on display in Omaha, Nebraska:

up-periscope-marlin

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Hot Exercise

Friday, February 7th, 2014 -- by Bacchus

sexy-exercise-01

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. When I go to the gym, it’s just not all this sexy up in there:

sexy-exercise-02

sexy-exercise-03

The pictures are actually establishing shots from a recent shoot at Fucking Machines.

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The Hooded Inquisitor

Thursday, October 10th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

This somewhat creepy painting is called Inquisition. It’s by Romanian artist Victor Shivert:

inquisition

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I Would Stop And So Would You

Tuesday, October 1st, 2013 -- by Bacchus

This is an awesome old vintage nudie postcard:

topless hitchhiker waiting for a ride

Found at Frequently Felt.

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Nude Brigitte Bardot

Thursday, September 12th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Naked pictures of Brigitte Bardot are not all that hard to find. But the “come hither” look she’s displaying in this one from 1962? Priceless:

Nude come hither glance from Bardot

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Genius Photographer And Creeper

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Miroslav Tichý kneeling bikini babe

Here’s a fascinating article on an eccentric Czech creeper and voyeur who took beautiful candid photos with deliberately-bad home-made cameras:

Charming eccentric or tolerated local boogyman? The townspeople of Kyjov in Czech Republic could never quite decide. Miroslav Tichý took nearly a hundred photographs a day with his homemade camera, wandering around the streets of his hometown, often spotted at bus stops, the main square, the park and the swimming pool, although he was frequently arrested for lingering around the local pool taking pictures of unsuspecting women.

Miroslav Tichý topless sunbather

The arrests prompted him to start fashioning makeshift telephoto lenses:

When he was banned from the local pool, he made telephoto lenses with cardboard tubes to snap his clandestine photographs from a distance, which is why a wire fence can sometimes be seen in his pictures… He ground lenses out of plastic with toothpaste and ash, putting them together with cardboard toilet paper tubes, dressmaker’s elastic and old camera parts he found.

Miroslav Tichý bare-breasted swimmers

I will confess, I am at something of a loss in knowing what to think about these photos. They are unquestionably gorgeous works of art. And yet the process of their production has a substantial creep factor. Should that matter? Is it possible to simultaneously condemn the artistic method and celebrate the resulting art?

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My Kind Of Cave Girls

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Two girls in a cave

This is the central detail (click image for more) from Two Girls In A Cave by Estonian artist Carl Timoleon von Neff.

I think they just went in there to get some “together” time…

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Submit To Fashion!

Saturday, June 15th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

They don’t make pants (or fashion photography) like they used to!

naked submission to frightening pants

Confronted with pants so majestic and terrifying and fabulous, I guess a person’s only choices would be fleeing abjectly, or what these ladies chose: stripping off all your clothes and kneeling in submission.

This is from a 1976 magazine fashion shoot with several similar photos. Bondage Blog has the details.

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Jerome’s Last Miracle

Friday, March 15th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Jerome chasing and catching a fleeing nude nun or novice

Artist is unknown on this one. The post title comes from the caption on the uncropped image (if you click through) which is “Dernier Exploit de Jerôme”. My mechanically-assisted French is very bad, but I understand that to mean something like “Jerome’s last feat” and if we assume that the famous priest and saint is meant, then “Jerome’s last miracle” becomes at least a plausible-seeming translation. Given that he’s portrayed as enormously rotund and yet very much in the process of catching a nubile nude woman who is fleeing as slowly as may be required, I think we can safely assume satirical intent in the captioning.

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Losing At Strip Poker

Friday, March 8th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a visual guide to losing at strip poker — with style! She’s still got her shoes, her watch, and her hair ribbon; after those go, she’ll have to start paying in forfeits.

a stylish woman who is losing badly at strip poker

She may be losing the poker game, but I think she’s winning at the game she’s actually playing.

From Issue #30 of Spree: The Big Magazine For The Virile Man (1962).

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A Tricky Bit Of Nude Archery

Friday, February 8th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Mind the nipple!

art nude of Dianna the hunter doing a bit of naked archery

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Daria Getting Naked For Jane

Monday, January 21st, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Of course it’s for art:

Daria and Jane naked together for some life drawing practice

I found it on one of Dr. Faustus’s proliferating Tumblrs, but I failed utterly at finding an original sourcing credit.

 

A Week In St. John

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

How would you like to spend a week on the island of St. John in the Virgin Islands? Photographing the lovely Sarah Jaymes?

ALS model Sarah Jaymes taking off her bikini

Sarah Jaymes topless in a tropical island paradise

Yeah, hardship duty.

From ALS-Scans.

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Naked Housework

Thursday, October 11th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

This is from an old Janus spanking magazine, which explains the kinky prose that I found accompanying it:

on her hands and knees to scrub the floors, bare naked

“I imagine that Debby Harry, Farrah Fawcet-Majors, or some such character is sent to live with her cruel aunt and uncle in some secluded country house to be taught the meaning of discipline and obedience. Her life there is a strict regime. Most of the week is relatively free of punishment, although she has to do most of the housework. Sunday is reserved for punishment…”

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The Sultry Dancer

Saturday, October 6th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

pretty nude dancer with lots of jewelry

Art is by Ilio Giannaccini.

 

How To Stop Traffic

Monday, October 1st, 2012 -- by Bacchus

The Nymph has long desired a Vespa. But I don’t think she intends to ride (or drive) it like this:

a glamour nude on a vespa scooter

Picture dates from 1960, in Jerry Yulsman Tells How to Take Glamour Photos. Via Vintage Scans.

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Feeding Her Horse

Monday, July 16th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

I hope she’s watching out for that barbed wire!

beautiful black woman feeding her horse -- in the nude

It’s a scan from an old Black Gold magazine.

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The Prettiest Hoarder

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

pretty japanese hoarder girl sits on pile of newspapers

 

No Helmet — Or Anything Else

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Apparently in Romania, you can ride a motorcycle nude … except you still need a helmet:

A woman riding on the back of a motorbike stark naked was pulled over by police – because she wasn’t wearing her helmet.

After pulling the motorbike over in Romania, officers let the modern day Lady Godiva off with just a warning and a ticket for not donning a helmet.

The cheeky rider then hopped back on the bike, nude but for a crash helmet, and sped off – giving fellow motorists plenty of photo opportunities.

One disbelieving witness said: ‘The officer was a traffic cop and the only traffic offence she’d committed was in not wearing a helmet.

‘So he gave her a warning and a ticket and told her and her companion to ride on.’

naked except for her helmet

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Naked Woman Jumping Rope

Friday, April 13th, 2012 -- by Bacchus

Just what it says on the tin: rope jumping, in the nude, against a stunning ocean beach scenery backdrop.

 

Samurai Pirate Woman

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

She’s clearly been trained in the “dazzle with breasts, then follow up with a slice at the torso” school of swordplay. No substitute for armor, or even woad — but possibly effective with the advantage of surprise:

nude pirate/samurai woman

From Action Girls.

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Los Angeles Pool Party

Friday, September 23rd, 2011 -- by Bacchus

The pool itself is showing signs of decline — check out the cracked cinder blocks top center — but the company is fine:

two pretty nudes in pool -- vintage

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Journal Page

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

pretty nude female page

By Henry Gerbault; via.

 

Girls In Bathrooms

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

Fuck Yeah Karl Elvis has been accumulating pictures of pretty girls in bathrooms, lately:

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Italian Curves

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

An alert reader sent me this link to a shoot in this month’s Italian Vogue magazine. It’s very arty, but the ladies have much better curves than you usually see in fashion magazine shoots:

curvy nude

Thanks, BB!

 

Riding With Mom

Thursday, May 26th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

Most people, they go on a splashy water park amusement fun ride, they just get their clothes wet. Oh, sure, they can try wearing the trash bag poncho like the guy in the background, but it don’t help. They spend the day in squelchy clothes.

If, however, your mom is a nudist, and the security guards are cool, you have options:

mom and daughter nudists ride the water park splash ride

As seen at Erectus.

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The Lion Queen

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

This is a detail from an old Italian pulp magazine cover. Why do I think she may have trouble getting dates?

queen of the lions

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Mother And Daughter Flashing For Beads

Saturday, May 7th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

I found this on Tumblr under the heading “Mother and daughter at Mardi Gras.” It’s a different world when the parades start to rumble:

mother and daughter showing their tits together at mardi gras

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A Summer Blonde

Saturday, March 26th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

This is the time of year when I’m always watching for signs of impending summer. Last week it was noticing the pool supplies appearing for sale at my local SuperMegaloMart; this week it’s a Femjoy summer beauty:

Summer nude blonde

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Bad Movie, Good Company

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

I suppose I’d rather see this at my local multiplex than the usual idiots sending and receiving 300 text messages:

nude girl at the movie theater

 

Before The Fall

Sunday, February 27th, 2011 -- by Dr. Faustus

I got and read a copy of John Gilmore’s L.A. Despair: A Landscape of Crimes & Bad Times in the course of trying to learn more about the tragic story of actress Barbara Payton, one of whose characters is prominent in a post over at my other blog home. I was a little surprised when I found the first plate was one of porn actor John Holmes, in a scene of almost primal innocence. It’s a striking image — I’m sorry I don’t know the name of the actress.

John Holmes in LA Despair

After innocence, the fall. It’s well known that the lives of porn actors sometimes do not end well.

Also the lives of bus drivers, tax accountants, and housewives. Remember that.

 

Burt Reynold’s Bare Ass, 1972

Saturday, February 12th, 2011 -- by Bacchus

You know you have been looking for this:

burt reynolds nude butt

It’s from the back cover of a book called Burt Reynolds Hotline: The Letters I Get … And Write!

 

“I was helpless…I had to follow her.”

Monday, December 13th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

No red-blooded man in America could resist:

Mary-Louise Parker from Weeds showing some butt and offering a fresh hot pie

That’s Mary Louise Parker as she appeared in the August 2009 issue of Esquire magazine.

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If Everybody Else Jumped Off The Dock…

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

My mother was one of these parents who was inherently suspicious of the entertainments devised by other families. The usual pattern would be, we’d ask for permission, she’d say “Oh, hell no!”, the rejoinder would be some whiny form of “But Mom, everybody else is doing it…” and then she got to deliver her favorite line:

“If everybody else was jumping off the end of the dock, would you?”

Well, actually, Mom…

everybody is jumping off the end of the dock

 

The Naked Typist

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

These days, the stereotype is of a bunch of bloggers sitting around word-processing in their pajamas. But what did people do before the invention of modern conveniences like word processors and zippered fleece footie-pajamas?

I’m not sure, but I’m betting it was cold and inconvenient, like this:

blogging in the dark ages before electricity and clothing

 

The Boat Girl

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010 -- by Bacchus

This is a detail from a vintage nude postcard scan I found in one of the deep directories on my hard drive. Don’t forget to click for the full sized image, it’s really nice:

beautiful nude woman wading in a tropical river near a boat

I do confess, though, that if I were her, I’d worry about eels and leeches and crocodiles. That just doesn’t look like a wading place to me.

 

Snow Day

Monday, October 18th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

And meanwhile, somewhere in Europe, a pretty girl tries to brighten up a gray and otherwise pointless day:

nude girl on a metal railing

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Washing Her Clothes In The Fountain

Monday, October 11th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

I used to live in a tourist destination town, and it was not uncommon to encounter European backpacker types naked in the laundromat while they washed all their clothes. The impression we got from attitude and body language was that this was considered normal practice for travelers on a budget, and that considerations of more modest local custom were beneath contempt. So, basically: Suck it, you American prudes.

Thus it is with some irony that I have encountered this porn made by a U.S. porn company featuring a BDSM slavegirl being forced to launder her clothes in a public fountain in a European city (Berlin, I think):

woman washes her clothes naked in a public fountain in Berlin

woman washes her clothes nude in a public fountain in Berlin

Although the locals are probably rather less bothered by all this than they would be in the U.S., I’m sure there are some ancient moralists whose feelings were ruffled during the making of this pornography. And to them I say, in all good humor: Suck it, you European prudes.

Images credit: Public Disgrace.

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Reluctant Polar Bear

Monday, October 11th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the Frozen North myself, but I’m really enjoying the Snow Bunnies tumblr. Polar Bear Clubs (where people band together to cut holes in the ice to bathe in the Arctic Ocean at astronomically significant times, like midnight on the winter solstice) really do exist; and all I can imagine is that this is a scene from one of them. In my imagination, there was a small office somewhere in Barrow or Deadhorse, maybe something to do with oilfield services or borough government, where they each pledged twenty bucks for a worthy charity, and then drew lots to see which one of them would be the naked sacrifice to the Arctic Ocean…

nude woman prepares to jump through a hole in the sea ice in the dark while it is snowing

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Lots Of Male Skinny Dippers

Sunday, October 10th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

This is fun — at least fifty naked guys jumping in a very small swimming hole with a lot of enthusiasm. I can only guess that this is a WWII-vintage scene; I could see these guys being military, bored, smelly, and really happy to see a place to splash in.

hit the swimming hole

Anyway, it’s much more fun in the 1000-pixel version at Kinky Delight.

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Improving The Scenery

Monday, September 27th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

It’s a tough job, but she’s just the woman to do it:

pretty nude single-handedly improving a bleak desert scene

Via Usenet.

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Why Rich Men Buy Boats

Sunday, September 26th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

From the continuing series:

why rich men buy boats

( source )

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Shove Off

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010 -- by Bacchus

If you must go rowing, it helps to have crewpersons who are pretty and naked:

nude woman pushes boat out from shore

Via Usenet.

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Camping Is Fun

Monday, September 20th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Camping is always fun. Camping with her? Even more fun. Very important to stay hydrated:

nudist camping

Via Fuck Yeah Karl Elvis.

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You’ve Borrowed Your Last Husband

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

I know that relaxed poly relationships are all the rage these days among the sexual illuminati. But old-fashioned sleeping-with-another-woman’s husband — you know, without asking first — still happens. And sometimes, that’s not such a good idea:

nude woman with shotgun drawing a bead on you

I’m not condoning violence, mind you. I’m just saying, be careful out there.

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The Naked Chain

Friday, August 20th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

I’m not at all sure what’s going on here. But naked people having fun is always relevant to my interests:

chain of happy naked people

 

The Past Come To Life

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

It’s hard to be the pharaoh, but somebody has to do it:

lusty egyptian-style figures among the heiroglyphs

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Why Rich Men Buy Boats

Thursday, July 29th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

nude bather beside a yacht

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Gettin’ Dirty

Monday, July 26th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

You have to love a woman who’s not afraid to get dirty:

making mud pies

From a LiveJournal post entitled Think Summer.

 

Stretching Exercises

Thursday, July 1st, 2010 -- by Bacchus

My new personal trainer says stretching exercises are important before our workout. I think I’m gonna like working with this one:

personal trainer stretches half-nude

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Suddenly Watermelons

Saturday, May 1st, 2010 -- by Bacchus

So there she was, standing nekkid on the beach, flirting with the photographer, and minding her own business.

Suddenly, a watermelon appeared out of nowhere! (It’s art; it doesn’t need to make sense.)

watermelons from the sky

When shit like that goes down, you’ve pretty much gotta stop and have a picnic:

two naked girls plus one watermelon equals picnic

From Met Art. More watermelons here.

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How To Get A Free Ride

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Here’s one of the more enthusiastic naked hitchhiker photos I’ve ever encountered. It’s all in the stance, it’s all in the stance!

how to get a free ride

Via Radioactive Lingerie — and doesn’t that explain a lot?

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Caught At The Clothes Line

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 -- by Bacchus

I guess this is the retro version of the German tourists who sometimes get discovered buck naked at the laundromat while they cheerfully launder all of their clothes:

naked woman putting washing on the line

From alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.vintage.

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Pinup Ama

Thursday, March 18th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Remember when I showed you the black and white photos of ama, which are/were the Japanese topless pearl and sponge divers? It’s no surprise that more modern pinup photography in Japan would still make use of this cultural trope, but I was nonetheless delighted to find this lovely color ama vision:

topless ama pinup girl

 

Local Prude Fail?

Sunday, March 7th, 2010 -- by Dr. Faustus

Historic Rahway, New Jersey may bear the distinction of being the boyhood home of Milton Friedman, but the libertarian principles that eminent economist spent his life espousing might be a little wan these days in his hometown.

It seems that Eliza Gonzalez and family decided to take advantage of recent snowy weather in the Northeast United States to make a Venus de Milo-esque snow sculpture on their front yard, which apparently most of the neighbors liked, at least according to this TV news report. But someone, of course, had to ruin the fun by making an anonymous complaint to the police, who in turn complained to Ms. Gonzalez, who responded by covering the sculpture up with a bikini top and a sarong.

new jersey snow woman

The irony of the situation, as Ms. Gonzalez told the BBC (oh, grand, now the Brits and the whole world get to snicker at us prudish Americans again) is that the sculpture looked “more objectified and sexualized” than before the cops showed up.

I’m afraid I agree. Hat tip to Jerry Coyne.

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Summer of Love…In The 3rd Reich?

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Something about the hippy-style body paint in a drawing with Nazis made me think this was from some sort of alternate-history where the Nazis won, only to be suborned from within, a generation later, by free love and LSD. But no, it’s just hippy-era adventure-magazine art, looking irreverently backwards:

nazi villian painting a girl with hippy body paint and big flowers

Illustration, via http://drakecaperton.tumblr.com/“>Drake’s Way, is from the December 1967 issue of Men, from an article by the most excellent name of “Free the Girls of Love Captive Stalag”. Oh, yes, do let’s!

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Topless Batgirl, 1938

Friday, February 26th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

From a French book cover:

bare breasted french bat girl art

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Flexible AND Friendly

Thursday, February 25th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

You always gotta love flexi girls, even vintage ones:

naked flexible and friendly

From Vintage Lust.

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Yet Another Table Dancer

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Here’s another table dancer. Look at her smile!

happy mostly-nude table dancer

From Wicked Knickers.

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Nude Around The Neck

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Given the weighty and encumbering symbolism with which the modern man’s necktie is fraught, this surreal 1911 nude-woman-as-necktie photo is quite delicious:

nude woman as neck tie

( Source )

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Nude, Snowballed

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

I heard a Twitter rumor that a flash crowd was supposed to show up in Dupont Circle during the big Washington DC snowstorm to have a friendly snowball fight. I don’t know if that happened, but finding this shot of a woman getting splatted with a big snowball reminded me of it:

nude woman gets hit with a big wet snow ball

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Another With A Sword

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 -- by Dr. Faustus

Seeing the positive response created by my post containing James Montgomery Flagg’s “The Fencer” (or perhaps, as one commenter suggested, “Puss in Boots”) I thought it only fair to include an image of another, slightly different naked person with a sword for those who enjoy that sort of thing. I should hope that it will please those for whom “The Fencer” might not have been quite what they were looking for in a swordsman, as well as those of expansive tastes.

naked swordsman and dandy

The character is named Roger Hawke, and he was painted by Barb Rausch (1941-2001), appearing on the back cover of Wimmen’s Comix #16. Eat your heart out, Flagg!

 

More Government Ineptitude?

Monday, January 4th, 2010 -- by Dr. Faustus

I am quite sure that all of our American readers and many others besides will be familiar with this choice bit of visual history, executed by James Montgomery Flagg:

Uncle Sam Wants...well, you know

Though perhaps you didn’t know that the same artist produced this image:

join the army -- get skewered by a naked swordswoman!

Now de gustibus non est disputandum of course, but if you really wanted to get me to show up at a recruiting post, I think I know which martial image I would use.

 

You Spin Me

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Music marketing used to be so much more interesting:

nipples and records

From alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

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Beach Dreaming In December

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

I found this on Usenet, now I want to go to the beach:

topless and buried at the beach

2018 update: Courtesy of Twitter, a provenance! This is said to be a 1960s photo by Alexander Baege entitled “Sphinx in the Sand”.

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Taking It Off

Thursday, December 10th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

This really simple “getting undressed” comic panel I found on Usenet works for me:

taking off her top

 

Bath Time

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Some of the user-generated galleries at Met Art are spectacular. Case in point: Bath time!

Eufrat takes a bath and washs all of herself with great and loving care

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Cold Shower

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Considering that “cold shower” is often used metaphorically to mean anything that cools passions, I find this a remarkable photograph:

cold-shower-panera-512

Doesn’t she look like she’s going to want some warming up soon?

Model is Lindsay Frimodt for a Panera watch advertising spread (you’ll notice she’s wearing one) photographed by Sean Ellis.

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Ellen Page’s Bottom

Friday, October 9th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

The Nymph and I went to see Whip It (starring Ellen Page) the day before yesterday, and we pronounced it good.

Ellen Page in Whip It

If there’s anybody out there wondering what her bottom looks like, I must report that it does not appear (unclad) in this movie. However, without giving too much away, I can report that viewers are treated to an extended scene in which her bottom is on athletic display in soaking wet underwear.

Why, yes, yes I do feel like a dirty old man for noticing, thank you for asking!

 

It’s Good To Be Caliph

Sunday, September 27th, 2009 -- by Dr. Faustus

Today I got yet another object lesson in how (1) anything might be grist for the ErosBlog mill, (2) you learn something every day and (3), the Internet is a marvelous thing.

I was passing my commute with Chris Wickham’s new book The Inheritance of Rome, a demonstration of the sort of superman historical erudition that people like me can only dream of having. As my train was pulling in to its dismal destination, I came across the following passage in Wickham’s discussion of the rise and fall of the Umayyad Caliphate:

The Ummayyads had a terrible press after their fall in 750. They were seen…as luxurious degenerates, enjoying themselves in their palaces, and ignoring the needs of government. They certainly built luxurious palaces, some of them survive, in the Jordan valley and on the Syrian/Jordan fringe, as ambitious in their own way as al-Walid’s mosques, and in two cases (the stuccoes of the Khirbat al-Mafjar outside Jericho, the frescoes of the Qusayr ‘Amra bath-house east of ‘Amman) they show profusion of human forms (often naked and female) that do not look very ‘Islamic.’

Google image search time!

I turns out there are many splendid images available of Qusayr ‘Amra, and the frescoes, though not in good shape, really are remarkable. Here is one I found from at L’académie de Lille. First one:

quaysr nude fresco

And another:

quaysr bath scene

Professor Wickham is certain right to put “Islamic” in quotes, for these images certainly seem contrary to a stereotype of Islam as a sex-negative, iconophobic religion.

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Ropes Of Pearls

Saturday, September 26th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

pearls on nude woman

 

Reading My Dreams

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 -- by Dr. Faustus

Jason Chan might have been hacking my brain two years ago, but more than a century before that Jean-Jacques Henner (1829-1905) was peering into my dreams:

The Reader

La liseuse, (“The Reader,” 1880) original in the Musée d’Orsay in Paris, along with many of Henner’s other works.

High resolution version: ( 1440×900 )

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Woman With Freckles … All Over

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

Do you like a woman with freckles? Model Nicotine in this Everything Butt gallery seems to be well stocked with ’em:

model nicotine has freckles

(Click image or here to see the full sized photo.)

 

Camping Nude

Saturday, July 11th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

I can only imagine that she stepped into the tent with a kettle of hot water to have a bit of a sponge bath. It seems to have worked, she looks pretty freshened up to me:

nude camping

From alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

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Those Deadly Sirens

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 -- by Bacchus

The Sirens, as every mariner has known since the age of Homer, are a deadly hazard to navigation. Beyond that, not much about them is certain; even their names have been variously reported.

Until now, that is. Now, thanks to Kinky Delight and Met-Art, we know that in these modern times, they are called Julia, Viola, and Veronika:

three nude and dangerous blone sirens from met-art

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More Batgirls

Friday, May 22nd, 2009 -- by Dr. Faustus

Browsing yesterday evening through Pete Tombs’s Mondo Macabro: Weird & Wonderful Cinema Around The World I came across across a full-color plate of a familiar image. Yep, it was the racy Batgirl which Bacchus had recently posted here at ErosBlog. Apparently she’s part of a promotional poster for a Turkish movie called Uçan Kiz:

Batgirl nude on Turkish movie poster

From Tombs we can take the information that Turkish movie-makers were unusually aggressive in their borrowings from American popular culture: Tombs provides information on a Turkish version of Star Wars, a monster movie that includes among its characters a “Kaptan Kirk” and a “Mr Spak,” and something else which he describes as “a mildly kinky version of Bewitched.” Sounds like fun!

But browsing further, I was intrigued to discover a promotional poster for a Mexican Batgirl as well. The image is not as exciting as what Bacchus found, but is still I hope not devoid of interest:

Mexican bat girl

More evidence, as if more is really needed, that some ideas have universal appeal.

 

A Witch On Her Broom

Monday, May 18th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

naked witch and broomstick

Detail from this etching (captioned Depart Pour Le Sabat).

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Topless Barbershops?

Monday, March 30th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

There used to be at least one:

the naked barber shop

That’s a scene from Florencio’s Men’s Salon in Los Angeles, as portrayed in the September 1964 Gent magazine, via Vintage Scans. One can only imagine how much time they had to spend brushing the hairs off themselves with those little hogs-bristle brushes.

 
 

Fashionable Nude

Saturday, February 21st, 2009 -- by Bacchus

The reason I like this vintage illustration is that it reminds me of fashion magazine (or perhaps sewing pattern) artwork — plus, of course, a bit of stylish nudity:

fashionable nudity

 

Sophia Loren, Corseted Seductress

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Much as I enjoyed (re)publishing the naked pictures of Sophia Loren’s boobies from her 1950s French-movie semi-nude harem scene, the truth of the woman is that she could be seductive wearing a gunny sack. Or, in this case, a black corset and pearls:

seductive sophia loren in black corset and pearls

I’m told (and why have I never seen this movie?) that this is a scene from The Millionairess, in which she spends the whole flick failing to seduce a character played by Peter Sellers. (Details here; thanks to Silent Porn Star for the link.) Youtube has the scene:

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The Blonde Under Your Christmas Tree

Thursday, December 18th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

With her under your tree, your Christmas ought to be merry indeed:

Natalie Blond on Christmas morning

a blonde Christmas nude

I can’t arrange that, but for a few bucks, you can arrange to have her stripping on your Windows desktop in HD. If you can settle for (very high resolution) still pictures, they are free here.

 

The Vigin Mary, Nude In (Mexican) Playboy

Thursday, December 18th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I am not making this up. Mexican Playboy did a photo shoot of Maria Florencia Onori as the Virgin Mary, and the result was a bunch of pissed-off Mexican Catholics.

Mexican Playboy magazine with Virgin Mary theme

I myself think Maria is beautiful, and don’t have a lot of time for Christians who despise female beauty to the point where they freak out when it’s associated, however indirectly, with their holy figures:

maria in front of stained glass window

I got this from Violet Blue, who has many more details.

 

Nude Pearl Diver

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

The post about topless Japanese pearl diver women prompted a reader to rummage through his dead-tree books, resulting in this gem of an image:

nude pearl diver

The book he found it in (Eros In Hell: Sex, Blood, and Madness in Japanese Cinema) speaks of an entire genre of Japanese nude flicks based around this theme:

Glimpses of straightforward screen nudity were not uncommon even in the 1950s…. The trend was sneakily initiated by Shintoho Studios in the mid-’50s with a new genre, the “girl diver” movie. Girls were shown wet-bloused, then later topless, then later even naked as they dived for pearls in such films as Onna Shinjuo No Fukushu (Revenge Of The Pearl Queen) and Ama No Bakemono Yashiki (Haunted House Of Ama aka Girl Divers Of Spook Mansion). … More recent entries in the persistent “girl diver” sub-genre include Atsushi Fujiura’s Yobai Ama (Nasty diver, 1977) and Shikijo Ama (Lusty Diver, 1981).

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Bettie Page, RIP

Saturday, December 13th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Blogs and mainstream media alike are exploding with encomia for the late great Bettie Page. Seeing as how she was, and always will be, a visual icon, it seems to me her memory is best celebrated in pictures:

Betty Page topless

full length nude photo of the legendary Betty Page

 

Topless Japanese Pearl Divers (Ama)

Saturday, November 29th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

A chance conversation with a friend about the Ama of Japan (women who dove, partially nude, for pearls, kelp, sponges, and the like) led to a Google search that led, in turn, to a page of spectacular photographs (dating from the 1930s to the 1960s) by Japanese photographer Iwase Yoshiyuke. This gallery of cropped details doesn’t begin to do justice to the often-panoramic scenery of the photographs, which are well worth a visit:

nude kelp girl

dirty nude girls after diving for pearls

nude divers on beach with baskets

nude woman with sponges

pretty nude pearl diver girls

dramatic nude ama pearl diver

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Penis Versus Clitoris: Google Has Decided

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Since I wrote last week about Google’s Secret Sexual No-Fly List, Tony Comstock has been doing some more digging into the perversities of Google’s various admitted and secret adult keyword filters. He’s been blogging up a storm about it, with posts like this:

In that last one, Tony shared the startling discovery that Google’s SafeSearch algorithm returns thirty three million “safe” results for [penis], but not a single one for [clitoris]. On top of all the other problems, Google’s filters are sexist! Tony expounded on this in his subsequent post, Dragged into Google’s Sex Ghetto, Kicking and Screaming:

As mentioned previously, I had been working on a post tentatively entitled “Does the Googlebot have Asperger’s Syndrome?” but I realize now that the analogy is too generous. People with Asperger’s see and understand the world differently from “normal” people, but I’ve never read anything about Asperger’s that suggests that Aspies are especially lazy or malfeasant.

The way that Google’s SafeSearch filter handles returns for [penis] vs. the way it handles them for [clitoris] isn’t a product of seeing things differently. It’s just plain lazy. Somewhere inside of Google, an engineer was tasked with filtering “adult” sites from returning under “strict filtering” searches. Somehow he (I’m going to have to assume this engineer is a man,) when confronted with the vagaries English language, was able to write an algorithm that allowed 30 million “safe” returns for [penis]. But when faced with the same problem for [clitoris] he found it easier to simply put clitoris on a list of banned words.

That’s not Aspie-ish, that’s just lazy and sexiest.

[Erotic] was too much trouble for him, so it got banned too. [Nude] and [naked] were too much trouble, so they were out. His algorithm couldn’t tell the difference between a nursery rhyme rooster and a raging hard-on, so [cock] got banned. Is this webpage talking about kitty-cats or cunts? His algorithm couldn’t tell, so [pussy] went on to the list, along with [bastard] and [anus]. For some reason his algorithm could find 4.7 million “safe” returns for [glans] and 2.5 million “safe” returns for [testicle], but not a single “safe” return for [fellatio] or [cunnilingus], so they went on the list as well.

That’s not the product of a odd blind spot to social interaction, that’s just lazy and ass-covering; not to mention laughable coming from a company that touts its “advance proprietary technology.” (I’ll leave it to someone else to decide whether or not it’s [evil].)

Now Susie Bright has gotten her teeth into the sexist implications of the penis versus clitoris filtering, and has written, in “Clitoris” on Google’s Banned Word List:

I recall the 1970s abortion rights poster that read “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” The sexism of the Internet infrastructure is the same joke. There is no way that men would consider “prostate cancer” an inappropriate search or conversation item. They would never for a moment consider that their “penis” was a word that couldn’t be allowed in a respectable business or learning environment.

But women’s bodies? Oh, you’re familiar with the filthy and unspeakable territory those will lead you into. It’s in the Bible, right?

Let’s stop coddling Internet censorship as if it were an etiquette or a “children’s” issue. The people suffering from being firewalled and banned aren’t commercial porn-makers with some gonzo to pitch – they’re educators, healthcare professionals, midwives, nurses, doctors, researchers, artists, writers, filmmakers, political activists, critics and analysts– all of whom find their interest in women’s lives to be shrouded in the great Internet burqa of “safeness.”

Look. I write a blog with “sex” right up in the title, and I make part of a living at it. So it’s no surprise that I’ve always hated the lame and weak approach to filtering that Google (well, all the search engines, but who else matters?) uses to disrupt and marginalize the great internet conversation about sex. It’s also no surprise that I can’t talk about this without some mental genius popping up in my comments to suggest that I wouldn’t care about this if I didn’t want more visitors to my blog. Happens, I’ve got six years of blog posts that prove I care passionately about the free exchange of sexual ideas, so I don’t let the nattering slow me down much. All of which is preface to my point, which is that I’m freaking delighted to see the beginnings of a noisy conversation about this.

Is there any hope that the sex bloggers of America can shame Google into being less shame-faced about the sexual contents of its search index? Given the massively overwhelming numerical superiority of the prudish majority to whom Google is catering with searches “safe” from female sexuality, probably not. But it’s important to remember that the actual people at Google are unlikely to be all that prudish or sexist; they are just, as Tony has pointed out so well, taking the lazy way out when attempting to do something (catering to sexist prudes) that they’d probably rather not be doing anyway, but for their perception (or perhaps assumption?) that it’s a corporate necessity.

Thus, I see at least a faint hope that if the mockery of their weak and lame filtering shortcuts is loud enough, they’ll have to improve their filtering systems out of a mix of professional pride and a sense of public relations necessity. If we can just disrupt their comfortable assumption that all sexual discussion is acceptable collateral damage, to be readily sacrificed in their (very difficult and endless) war against spammy porn sites, that alone would be a worthwhile step in the right direction.

 

Harem Dancer

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

This dreamy harem dancer is a panel detail from the Dutch comic Rooie Oortjes:

mostly nude harem dancer

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Six Naked Men

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I believe this vintage photograph of six naked men may date from the 1930s. I found it on Usenet and it came with a filename suggesting that these were military men getting some R&R:

nude soldiers after swimming

As I sometimes do when I have an attractive and somewhat unusual image available in fairly high resolution, I cropped and uploaded a couple of versions in sizes suitable for use as Windows wallpaper:

Six Nude Men (800×600)
Six Nude Men (1024×768)

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Being Mean To Annie Cruz

Saturday, September 27th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

The last time I drooled over Annie Cruz here on Erosblog, I called her “painfully beautiful”, in part because she was in dominatrix mode. But I really do think she’s a whole lot of hotness in a not-very-big package.

Which is why I cannot resist sharing some of the more modest scenes from this girl-girl nude wrestling match (conducted at Ultimate Surrender) in which Annie Cruz loses catastrophically to Samantha Sin.

Cruz (right) starts out looking confident and disdainful:

annie cruz and samantha sin square off for a naked wrestling match

But it’s not long before she’s the first to lose her underwear, to the delight of the audience:

annie cruz has lost her panties

And she just can’t seem to avoid being woman-handled by the stronger Ms. Sin:

annie cruz in a full nelson and getting bent backwards

By this point, she doesn’t have much fight left in her:

annie cruz wrestled into submission

Which means, she’s about to start “enjoying” the “surrender” part of the evening’s program.

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Google’s Mechanical Prude

Monday, September 22nd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

“Google Suggest” Ignores Adult Search Preference Cookies

Google, as all sex blog readers probably know, filters porn (they call it “explicit sexual content”) out of your search results by default. They call this “Safe Search”, and you can turn if off by letting Google set a cookie in your browser. (Most ErosBlog readers have, presumably, done this.) No worries, it’s been like this for years. We’re used to it, and in many contexts it’s useful to have the filtered option.

Recently, however, Google introduced a dynamic on-the-fly search suggestion feature called Google Suggest. When you type Britney Spears into the search box, a drop-down appears with what Google calls “relevant suggested search terms” in real time:

britney spears

Nerd response: Cool!

Sex blogger response: Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t something missing from that search box? Wouldn’t you expect to see “Britney Spears nude” on that list?

Let’s check. The list changes with every character you type, so let’s go “britney spears nu” and see if it fills in the suggestion:

no britney spears nude

Suspicious, but maybe all those “number one” sites are just crowding it out? Let’s make this impossible to miss, let’s try “britney spears nud”:

no britney spears nude

Whoa! Is that the sound of crickets I’m hearing? “Mom, Google Suggest won’t come out and play with me any more!”

At this point I hit the “Preferences” link and went to check my Safe Search setting; it forgets the “Do not filter my search results” setting every time I clean out all my cookies, and resetting it is the first thing I do after that. Nope, “Do not filter my search results” is checked! That’s not the problem.

And make no mistake, this is a problem, and not just for feelthy perverts like me. This is the sort of thing that sets mild-mannered eyeglasses-wearing librarians sputtering with rage, because once you start filtering out words, like “nude”, that do double duty as erotic signifiers and, you know, plain old information tags, you begin to muck up basic research of the sort that any high school civics class might legitimately be doing. Allow me to illustrate.

Does anybody remember John Ashcroft, and his infamous prudery that had him covering up fine art at the Department of Justice because the bare breasts offended him? Imagine you were trying to write a high school essay about public art and needed to reference that incident. If you actually Google John Ashcroft nude (shudder) you’ll get 39,000-ish results. But start typing that request into Google, and you’ll learn that while John Ashcroft singing “Let The Eagle Soar” might be relevant to your search request (with 10,500 results), “John Ashcroft nude” could not possibly be, even though there are four times as many potential results out there:

john ashcroft

Again, we need to check to make sure it didn’t just get choked by having to select between too many potentially relevant suggestions. We can do that by typing more letters; “john ashcroft n” gets me “john ashcroft news” as the sole suggestion, and with “john ashcroft nu” we’re back to the sound of crickets. Sorry, seeker after knowledge, nothing with “nude” in it could possibly be relevant to your search, EVER.

That’s search engine prudery right there, and it’s as stupid and mindless as automated mechanical prudery always is.

Of course, I’m not dealing with search results filtering, what I’m complaining about is search suggestions filtering. But that’s a distinction without a difference, a nit only a lawyer could enjoy picking. Google already has a cookie on my computer telling them that I don’t want them to protect me from the pollution of my vital essences that is the adult internet; what earthly reason could they have for ignoring that preference in determining which searches to show me in the suggestion box?

Just to show the full ridiculousness that is Mrs Grundy as played by The Mechanical Turk, let’s search for dear old Jenna, once said to be the most-searched woman on the internet:

jenna jameson

no jenna jameson nude

That settles it. The Mechanical Turk “knows” damned well who I’m searching for, knows when I’m two characters into her last name, but it can’t mechanically imagine that “jenna jameson nude” (with nearly half a million search results out there) might be at least as relevant as “jenna jameson neck tattoo”? Sorry my friends, but inside the amazing Mechanical Turk there sits a very human prude.

Again, it’s easy to imagine lots of good business reasons why Google might want to filter even the mildest adult topics out of its search suggestion tool. That’s not my point.

My point is that for many people, Google is only useful if they can get the unfiltered version. Google knows this. Google makes it easy to set the “don’t filter me” button. But what good is that, if they then silently ignore the setting?

OK, now let’s have some fun looking at all the things Google Suggest refuses to suggest.

How about a good spanking? That’s only about as kinky as six inches of your average garden hose these days, plus there’s the whole universe of information out there about why you shouldn’t do it to your kids. Surely Google Suggest has something for the spanking searcher?

no spanking

still no spanking

Google Suggest says: No spankings for you!

How about porn? If I type “por” into my search bar, you think maybe “porn” might be a relevant search to suggest?

no porn

Duh, no, silly me.

Ok, would you like to look at some fine rubber nipples? Or, you know, buy some, for your baby’s bottle or for your plumbing supply store? Sorry, you’re shit outta luck — Google Suggest can offer you “nippleplay” (presumably because the guy writing the filter didn’t get warned against it), but the Mechanical Prude has never heard of a nipple that was relevant to anybody:

no nipples

That’s enough for now, although readers are invited to find other, especially laughable “never relevant” stop words that choke Google Suggest. Have fun teasing the Mechanical Prude!

 

Naked Hitchhiker

Saturday, September 13th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

From an old magazine, I think:

nude woman thumbing up a ride

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“I Don’t DO Ironing.”

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

no she will not iron your shirt sorry

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Table Dancer

Sunday, September 7th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

When the party has progressed beyond a certain point of general inebriation, there comes that time when dancing on the bar turns into naked dancing on the bar. And when that happens, sometimes you see naked people who — how best to say this gently and without being body-judgmental? — were not first on your list of people you were waiting to see naked.

The truly fun thing, though, is that if the party’s going well enough, nobody cares, and it’s a good time anyway:

nude table dancer

This rough-hewn nude table dancer is from an illustration by French illustrator Albert Dubout.

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Fifty Shivering Canadians

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Cleaning out my inbox this morning — an Augean Stables if there ever was one — I found an email, most of a year old, from Neil. It featured this link, to the story of TV producer Mary Walsh, trying to emulate Spencer Tunick. She hoped for 500 bare asses on the windblown dock in Newfoundland, but she got fifty. In December, air temperature, 12 degrees (-11 C):

fifty naked Canadians

Shiver.

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Sarah Palin Nude? Sorry, Not Yet.

Sunday, August 31st, 2008 -- by Bacchus

An alert reader sent me this link to a Craigslist post featuring what looks like a semi-nude (one boob) shot of vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin in her beauty queen days, complete with huge 1980s hair.

The nude picture was found in company with this pageant bikini-contest shot:

bikini shot of Sarah Palin?

Is this Palin? I dunno. It could be a random brunette with “Alaska” photoshopped onto the banner. It could be her. I just dunno.

Moving along to the nude picture you’ve all been waiting for:

nude glamour shot of Sarah Palin? No.

Now, understand, I’m terrible with faces. My face recognizer is so bad that I don’t recognize my friends at the grocery store, half the time. And to me, this grainy black-and-white face doesn’t jump out as “obviously” Sarah Palin — either the current mother of five or the pageant beauty we saw yesterday. It’s just some random brunette showing a breast.

But if we believe the bikini shot…

It’s a clever sort of misdirection. Similar backgrounds, same white drape, similar hair. But to my eye, the face is much more bland. I can’t say it’s the same girl; I don’t think it’s the same girl. But, you know, it maybe could be, if a guy wanted to believe badly enough.

While still trying to decide whether I had a picture worth showing you, I moved my attention to the awesome hot leather miniskirt photo in the same Craigslist post. I was suspicious of that one; Palin is not that tall and her legs aren’t quite that thunderous. Final nail in the coffin: The Museum of Hoaxes has the source photo that Palin’s headshot was chopped from.

From there, I followed links through a ValleyWag story to this photoshop contest page, where, hey guess what? They have the nude picture already! It turns out to be an old internet photo widely circulated as being a nude photo of some celebrity I’ve never heard of, one Julia Louis Dreyfus. And even then, the majority of the sites showing it advertise it as a fake — so it may not even be Ms. Dreyfus.

I deem it unlikely that a nude photograph of Sarah Palin has been circulating for years on the internet, being deliberately mis-labeled as a Julia Louis Dreyfus nude. I guess it’s a theoretical possibility, but if I were you I’d be more worried about flying monkeys shooting out of John McCain’s ass.

Bottom line, folks: You can’t believe just anything you see on the internet. This will not be the last “nude Sarah Palin” picture we see. It may not even be the last nude Sarah Palin photo you see on ErosBlog. But the next time you see one, it would be good to remain skeptical.

To be honest, the most interesting photo to me is the bikini one of the girl with the “Alaska” sash. Is that Palin? Finding it in company with Photoshops makes me skeptical, but it’s an attractive photo (actually, video screen capture I believe) and I’d enjoy having it confirmed.

As always when Photoshop enters a discussion on ErosBlog, commenters need to remember that I am ruthless about deleting expressions of insupportable certitude. Opinions and arguments are welcome, but absolute claims and excessive certainty (“that’s obviously fake”, “Of course that’s real”) are rude and foolish and will be moderated away.

 

Sarah Palin, VPILF?

Friday, August 29th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I’m crediting Wonkette with establishing the “GILF” meme back when Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska got sworn in:

Alaska governor Sarah Palin as America\'s hottest governor

She’s a former Miss Alaska contestant (Miss Wasilla 1984), and so you’ll see this old beauty contest mugshot being widely circulated:

Sarah Palin, Miss Wasilla 1984

Now that the cable news networks are reporting that she’s been tapped by John McCain as his vice presidential running mate, it’s time to remind the world that there’s a persistent rumor of a Sarah Palin nude photo “out there”. If it’s real, and it’s out there, and you have it, please send it along to ErosBlog, would ya?

The rumor surfaced during Palin’s gubernatorial campaign, when allegations flew around Alaska (and even reached my tender ears, the Internet being what it is) that such a photo was being circulated by her political opponents as part of a dirty tricks campaign. Although the story was not much reported by responsible press outlets, I got emails asking me if I knew where to get the photo, so I know the rumors were real; and there’s a shadow of them in the cesspools you find wherever newspapers publish “blogs” and then leave the comments open and unmoderated. (Ask Violet Blue how much to trust the stuff people write when they are fingerpainting in that sewage, though; she’ll give you an earful.)

I’d be more dubious about the whole story if not for the fact that one of my email correspondents claims to have seen the nude photo of Palin. Admittedly, the provenance on this story is so bad it’s classic: he says a guy in a bar showed him the printout of the email that was circulating. And, you know, it was a bar; the light was bad.

Since Governor Palin’s wild teen years were (if they happened at all) in the early 1980s, before the advent of digital photography, I’m pretty skeptical about the whole “nude photo” story. If the alleged shot ever surfaces, I’d expect it to be a photoshop of one of her beauty pageant pictures. She was a pretty girl in 1984, and she’s still – as they used to say in more delicate times and bad western movies — a fine figure of a woman.

Her husband, by the way, is a commercial fisherman (think Deadliest Catch), oilfield worker (think “drill rig at forty below zero”), and endurance snowmobile racer. He’s perfectly capable of kicking your ass, or mine, so be nice.

 

First Physics, Now Neuroanatomy

Monday, August 25th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Famed physicist Richard Feynman was notorious for doing some of his better thinking about physics in strip clubs, no doubt inspired by his observations of heavenly bodies. (I’m sure I’m only like, the ten zillionth person to make that tired joke.) So I was amused to see this blog post linking stripping and neuroanatomy, with bonus paragraphs about the history of naked ladies in London:

It’s hard to start a paragraph with “I was strolling through London’s red light district the other evening…” without seeming a little dubious, but it’s the truth, so I shall have to begin by sounding suspect.

If your suspicions have already been raised, I doubt that if I say that I became interested in one of London’s biggest strip clubs for its importance in the history of neuroanatomy that I will seem at all convincing. But it was also the case, so I shall I have to also begin by sounding a little implausible.

The photo on the left depicts the neon drenched Windmill Theatre, the first venue in London to have risqué shows displaying the naked bodies of young women to breathless crowds of young men.

In the 1930s the owners realised there was a loophole in the law, and that if the naked girls stood still, they weren’t acting and so weren’t subject to legislation banning nude actors. Decades of titillating ‘living statue’ shows followed, using increasingly inventive ways of presenting the spectacle of the unclothed and unmoving girl.

Thanks to Violet Blue for the link.

 

Nude In San Francisco

Thursday, August 21st, 2008 -- by Bacchus

When I lived in San Francisco, the only nudity I saw was the late-night hookers flashing for passing drivers. But then again, I didn’t get out as much as I should have. Here’s Marie, out for a naked stroll on Lombard Street, courtesy of Nude In San Francisco:

marie walking naked on Lombard Street in San Francisco

 

Sophisticated Urban Indoor Camouflage

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I can hear the body artist pitching this paint job as if I were there: “But seriously! If you let me do this, you can be nude in public and nobody will ever see you! Just go to the party, stand where I tell you, remain very still, and nobody will know you are there. It’s a fancy party in a fancy space, you’ll blend right in!”

nude urban camoflage body paint

From this gallery featuring the body painting art of Emma Hicks.

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The Nude In The Mirror

Friday, August 8th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I’m one of these people who studiously avoided all non-mandatory art classes during my formal education, because so much that is considered great in art struck (and still strikes) me as immensely dull. Tell me again why we are looking at a cracked oil painting of some not-very-tasty-looking apples in a bowl?

If somebody had explained to me that the good artists spent half their lives painting flowers and the backs of their hands so they could learn to paint convincing nekkid pictures, I might have been more interested. As it is, it took the internet to introduce me to all sorts of long-dead illustrators and artists whose works I could have started enjoying at a much younger age.

Case in point: Auguste Leroux. This is titled “The Mirror”:

nude girl looks in mirror

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The Naked Workout

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

If this sort of thing were seen more often, it would go a long way toward improving our nation’s physical fitness:

nude woman with barbells

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Nude And Fur

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Porn from the days when furs were still popular:

nude woman posing with fur

From Eye Candy Blog.

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Just A Girl And Her Snake

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

This is a detail from an 1880 painting called “The Serpent Charmer” by Jean-Leon Gerome:

nude girl and snake

 

Bare Breasts On A Postcard

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

The postcard from an exotic location, featuring the bare breasts of the ladies in those parts, is a tradition at least as old as photography, and quite likely older:

nude postcard from Portugese Guinea

 

Nude And Playing On The Swings

Monday, July 7th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

The filename on this vintage nude suggests that it dates from 1967:

nude play

 

Bathing Geisha

Monday, July 7th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I’m pretty sure this one is by Frank Frazetta:

nude geisha bathing in pond

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Cooling Off

Saturday, July 5th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

nude woman mostly underwater

A problem with the ErosBlog summer image flood is that I’ve got a ton of nice pictures that I don’t have sources for. Somewhere out there, there’s a photographer who deserves an image credit for this. If you’re that photographer, or know that photographer’s work and recognize it here, the standing request in these situations is that you use the comments to help me rectify the problem.

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Ladies Of Summer

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Continuing the holiday flood of summery nudes. I think I grabbed this one from an eBay auction a long time ago:

summer ladies

 

Nude At The Beach

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Continuing the flood of summery nakedness, I offer this vintage beach nude:

nude woman at the beach

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Topless Women’s Soccer

Friday, June 27th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Erosblog has an official position on topless women’s soccer: “We approve of your program and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”

nude girls play soccer

Austria drew first blood early today when their topless women’s football team beat Germany 10-5.

The traditional swapping of shirts afterwards was not an option as the six-a-side teams wore nothing but thongs, with the national colours painted on to their bare skin.

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Big Breasted Vintage Nude

Friday, May 23rd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

A nice vintage nudie photograph, starring a model with an unusual facial expression:

vintage nude with big boobs

 

Naked Cowboy

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008 -- by Bacchus

This naked cowboy is from the cover of a Greenleaf Classic gay pulp novel called One To Share by Dallas Kovar:

nude gay cowboy, with saddle

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Art Keeps Getting In My Porn

Thursday, May 15th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

One thing I like about writing a sex blog, in this era of increasing porn saturation, is that as the competition heats up, and production values increase, I’m seeing more and more porn that looks like art, especially from the high-quality porn producers like Kink.com or (for your non-kinky examples) Femjoy or Domai.

It used to be that a shot like this one, of Candice Nicole enjoying an enforced contemplative post-ejaculatory moment during a Sex And Submission shoot, would have come only from the studio of one of the “arty” guys like Craig Morey or Richard Kern:

cum-faced contemplation for candice nicole

My problem with erotic art photography is that, historically, it has tended to strike me as self-conscious and defensive, and in its defensiveness, it often grew boring. In its worst form, we get that endless flood of semi-abstract nudes that congest web galleries and college sophomore life photography classes. You know what I’m talking about: the curve of a buttock or breast, usually upside down or at an odd angle, often pressed against some random implausible texture like old roofing tin, presented in black and white with funky lighting so as to make the whole project safely non-sexual.)

Luckily, as the standards and technology of porn photography get better, I’m seeing a best-of-both-worlds convergence, with your favorite subscription porn shack pumping out art-quality photos of a volume and diversity and unapologetic lustful sexuality that even the best “erotic art” photographers never seemed to manage. And I love it!

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Astonished Nude

Monday, May 12th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

This astonished nude is from the cover of an old album called “Good Buddies”, as seen in the book Cover Story:

naked lady with basket, amazed or afraid

 

Angel Woods, Naked In The Girl’s Gym

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Here are a few photos (of the lovely Angel Woods) that are (almost) like being a hidden camera in the girl’s gym. You know, that secret gym where the young ladies go when they want to exercise naked:

angel woods working up a sweat without any clothes on

angel woods exercising in the nude

angel woods having a naked workout session

Sadly, fellows, I think membership in that gym costs extra.

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Balloon Swallowing

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth, cell phones were bigger than popsicles, and P2P file sharing had just been invented, I was testing out the original Napster, or maybe it was an early version of Gnutella, and this balloon swallowing video (.flv format) was one of the first video files I downloaded.

I was reminded of this when I found yet another vintage photo that had to be shared. There’s just something about those balloons:

kneeling nude plays with a balloon

 

Naked Hippie On A White Horse

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Somewhere out there in the ErosBlog readership, there’s bound to be somebody for whom this naked, abundantly-facial-haired man on a white horse is the ultimate fantasy image. Whoever you are, this picture’s for you:

nude hippy man on a white horse

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Marilyn Monroe’s Naked Memory

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

So of course, my skepticism of yesterday’s Marilyn Monroe blowjob movie report was shared by others, some of whom now claim to be “debunking” the “hoax”. To me, the “debunking” sounds like skeptical experts explaining why skepticism is in order, but you can’t really establish “hoax” unless you have evidence or a confession, which the skeptical experts do not (yet) appear to have. It wouldn’t be fair for us to expect debunkers to do the impossible (“Prove that the movie doesn’t exist!) but it’s still cheating for them to engage in their informed arm-waving and then claim that’s the same as if they did prove the movie doesn’t exist. I’ll chalk this up to Defamer’s over-hyperbolic headline writing, and wait to see what else develops.

Meanwhile, there’s much internet talk of a tame old porno loop called The Apple, Knockers, and the Coke Bottle, starring Arline (or Arlene?) Hunter, who (some people say) looks a bit like Marilyn. If anybody out there is treasuring that loop in a format suitable for emailing, ErosBlog stands ready to share it with a broader public. My Google-Fu is weak today, and has so far yielded only this:

arline hunter in The Apple, Knockers, and the Coke Bottle

Source is a Marilyn Monroe fan site with this to say:

The actress in this film is named Arlene Hunter who was a 1954 playmate for Playboy magazine. In it Miss Hunter removes her clothes, rolls an apple around her breasts, and then provocatively sips from a Coke Bottle.

I can’t believe that people are making money off of this stag film by ripping off unsuspecting fans. I personally don’t even see how someone could mistake the two women, Arlene Hunter has a faint resemblence to Norma Jeane but is certainly no look alike.

Interestingly, there may be another stag film out there that’s commonly claimed to feature Marilyn. This site is adamant that it’s not the Apple/Coke Bottle movie, and has the best compilation I found of stills, links to magazine coverage, and the like. I myself don’t find the stills to be all that compelling:

alleged or supposed image of Marilyn Monroe in a stag film

nude still from stag film putatively starring Marilyn Monroe

Open season:

I hereby declare that the usual Erosblog rules against the “Is it real? Is it fake? Is it Photoshop?” game in the comments DO NOT APPLY to this post, or to the previous one. Hell, for this story, that’s got to be at least half the fun. Go wild, but remember this — unless you are the photographer of one of the images in question and want to share your first hand knowledge, your opinion is not fact and should not be presented as such, or with unwarranted certitude.

 

More Nude Governator

Saturday, April 5th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

All politics aside, I think it’s pretty cool that there’s a state governor out there who got elected notwithstanding his history of posing for naked pictures:

naked arnold schwarzenegger

Of course, when a woman with a pictorial past gets elected without her nudie pics becoming a matter of national controversy, then we’ll know we’re making progress.

This bit of nude Arnold Schwarzenegger beefcake was originally published in After Dark magazine in 1977, and appears here after being shamelessly “borrowed” from OMG! Blog.

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Anonymous Moons

Saturday, March 29th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Everybody knows that red-blooded American boys aren’t ashamed to show their faces when they drop trou for a good mooning. The fashionable thing in this era of “Freedom Fries” would be to cast European aspersions on these timid callipygian terrorists, but I try never to do the fashionable thing, especially when it’s mostly just fashionable with folks who think the Dixie Chicks are insufficiently patriotic. So, who is to blame for this display of fundaments?

three masked men mooning

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Pissed Off Nude, Exit

Friday, March 28th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

The lady’s dramatic carriage impresses me:

naked woman stomping away from a tryst gone wrong

But why is she striding away in such a snit?

Look for it. If you process images like me, it will take you a second or third or fourth look before you spot the likely reason.

The artist is Eric Von Gotha, from a collection called Journal De Sartine.

 

Leda And The Swan, Redux

Friday, March 21st, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Remember Leda And The Buttsecks Swan? Well, here’s a more typical nude Leda from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage:

naked leda with swan

 

How To Get Picked Up

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

While hitching rides in Germany, that is:

how to get picked up

I can see how this would work for the young lady. But I should think her two boyfriends and their trashbag luggage would be slowing her down.

Update: I’m sorry to report that I’ve had to delete at least four comments from people who managed to be rude or superior or condescending about pointing out that this image was photoshopped from a non-nude scene in a movie. However, I’m quite grateful for the information, and especially for the original image provided by Azi in a comment that nicely avoided all the “ZOMG! Internet points for me!” attitudes I was busily moderating away. Thanks, Azi!

Anyway, here’s the unmodified real deal, which I like every bit as much:

pretty hitchhiker

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Zoey Zane Versus Goonswarm

Saturday, February 16th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I pretty much ignored the sad story of Zoey Zane’s disappearance when it happened, because the press treatment was so disgusting and I didn’t have any useful insight on the story. However, I was pleased to see some hints of porn positivity in this article by Alan Scherstuhl in the Kansas City Pitch:

Here’s the victim in happier times. She’s spread across a beige bed in a beige room in what must be a beige apartment complex off a frontage road someplace. She wears a pink mesh top and black knee-highs but is otherwise exposed, with one leg scissored up and the other spread wide with gynecological bluntness. This is the point of the photo, of course, the only reason that it exists.

But that’s not what makes it arresting.

She’s grinning. She has slipped off her panties with a cheerful flourish, is waving them high above her head. The air blooms in them. There’s a blooming in her face, too, a look wholly unlike what we expect from women who make sex a performance or a business. [That’s a sad commentary on your expectations — Bacchus.] She looks pleased and surprised, the way you might if you somehow managed to yank away a tablecloth without disturbing the place settings.

She looks the way any of us look when we’re naked and goofy with someone we trust. Except better, of course. She looks better.

What? Porn girls can be happy? And the news has reached Kansas?

Sander’s death is shocking. But what isn’t is the fact that, in America Gone Wild, a “sweet, good kid” – as her grandfather described her to ABC – might take her clothes off for money and post her naked photos online. For half a century now, Hef’s Girls Next Door have been leaning nude on hay bales and stirring lemonade topless. Playboy bush is a perfect timeline of both the country’s increasing comfort with pornography and pornography’s corresponding discomfort with the natural. Before ’69, the magazine hid the bush entirely. When it appeared, it immediately began to thin, becoming less unruly every year – a patch, then a tuft, then a Velcro strip, then a sharp-lined eyebrow. And then, finally, to keep up with Penthouse and strippers and former Mouseketeer starlets, nothing at all.

The women changed elsewhere, too. Now they’re glazed over, poreless, their flesh like the caramel dripping in a candy-bar commercial. Breast implants are so common that a couple of times a year, Playboy publishes Natural Beauties as a sort of event: “real” as a fetish.

As the Girl Next Door goes, so – to an extent – goes the girl next door. Sander was shaved and tattooed, professionally tanned and pierced through the lip. But she still was “natural,” both in the categorical sense and in that real-girl essence that is the selling point of online amateurs. She looked real because that’s what she was: a real young woman trying – like so many of her peers – to look like a porn star.

The day-night writers prefer to think of Zoey Zane as someone separate from Emily Sander. But such real feeling pulses in that photograph of her grinning in that beige bedroom that it’s dishonest not to ask the hard questions. What if this is simply who she is? Who we are? At what point does pornography become documentary?

The article goes on to detail some of the tasteless internet “humor” that’s sprung up around Zoey Zane’s death, explaining it thusly: “Check any message board where Sander is discussed, and you’ll find yourself staring hard into an ugly truth: Many users of porn despise the women who turn them on.” Which may indeed be true; at least, it’s a theory we’ve discussed here in connection with ugly porn marketing tactics.

However, there’s still an obvious and gaping void between dead tree newspapers and the internet culture they sometimes try to report on. One might wish that Scherstuhl had seen this article in Wired Magazine, especially this bit:

If there’s one thing, though, that all these factions seem to agree on, it’s the philosophy summed up in a regularly invoked catchphrase: “The Internet is serious business.”

Look it up in the Encyclopedia Dramatica (a wikified lexicon of all things /b/) and you’ll find it defined as: “a phrase used to remind [the reader] that being mocked on the Internets is, in fact, the end of the world.” In short, “the Internet is serious business” means exactly the opposite of what it says. It encodes two truths held as self-evident by Goons and /b/tards alike – that nothing on the Internet is so serious it can’t be laughed at, and that nothing is so laughable as people who think otherwise.

To see the philosophy in action, skim the pages of Something Awful or Encyclopedia Dramatica, where it seems every pocket of the Web harbors objects of ridicule. Vampire goths with MySpace pages, white supremacist bloggers, self-diagnosed Asperger’s sufferers coming out to share their struggles with the online world – all these and many others have been found guilty of taking themselves seriously and condemned to crude but hilarious derision.

It’s certainly true enough that the folks abusing Zoe Zane’s memory don’t respect her. But what’s apparently not evident in Kansas is that they don’t respect anybody. There’s a whole internet subculture, prominent and youthful, that is aimed at self-importance and sacred cows and social propriety and any other sort of stuffed-shirtness they can find. They live for outrage, they think outrage is funny, and they don’t care what they have to tread on to get it. They are as distinctive in their online social presentation as, say, Goths are in their clothing. (Really, they are that distinctively easy to spot. Last night I dropped into a Team Fortress Two server they were infesting, and I could tell who was there by the offensive usernames and by the sound clips they were playing incessantly and in violation of that game’s social norms. Within two minutes, one of them had cried “The internet is serious business!” over his mike in response to somebody’s complaint about his behavior.)

Whatever you may think of the Serious Business Brigade (if you couldn’t tell, I don’t like them much because I treasure civility, which they tend to spit on) it’s pretty ignorant for a newspaper writer to Google up their spoors and write about them as generic internet users without, apparently, being aware that they exist as a distinct subculture.

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Kicking The Kaiser, Nude Style

Thursday, January 31st, 2008 -- by Bacchus

This is some of the prettiest “kicking the Kaiser in the teeth” propaganda that I’ve ever seen:

kaiser kicked by a nude woman

From Spanking Hitler.

 

Ohnoes! My Porns is Gone 404 Not Found!

Thursday, January 24th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

A funny porn 404 message from Never Give A Cheerleader A Keyboard:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious screenful of “Hot Nudes Galore”,
When I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour –
“‘Tis not possible!’, I muttered, “Give me back my free hardcore!”
Quoth the server: 404.

 

What A Cleaning Lady!

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Hypothetical question: if a fellow had a maid who looked and cleaned like this, would he even need a girlfriend?

naked maid service

There’s a business model in there somewhere, but it might turn out to be legal only in rural Nevada.

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Pluck You

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a surreal old French postcard, featuring the very flower of beautiful nude womanhood:

surreal nude woman flower

From Vintage Lust.

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Kelly Brook Sunbathing, Topless

Thursday, January 10th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

I’m afraid Kelly Brook is another one of these celebrity names that I’ve never even heard before. But I do approve of topless beaches and pretty girls who frequent them, and I’ve got just enough voyeur in me to enjoy the grainy quality of a good long telephoto shot. And that’s enough reason to publish this picture of Kelly Brook sunbathing with no top on in St. Barts, one of many such photos found on The Superficial:

Kelly Brook half nude and topless sunbathing in Cancun

[Update: Photos vanished from the original links when they broke, but a working backup link is here.]

 

Gearing Up To Help Santa

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Last night I saw three television commercials in a row starring women in cute-but-slutty red elf costumes. When I remarked to the Nymph, she looked at me like I was mentally slow, and said “Well, it’s that time of year, dear.”

I suppose it is. So here I am, jumping on the bandwagon, and here’s your woman in (half of) an elf costume:

Santa helper getting dressed

I found it on Usenet, where the original file name suggested a possible initial publication in an early men’s magazine called Monsieur.

 

Hint Of Bondage

Friday, December 7th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

I love the way this vintage salon almost-nude picture hints at bondage without quite daring to actually have or show any:

almost a bondage picture

Via Eye Candy Blog by way of Bondage Blog.

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Sophia Loren, Half-Nude Pinup Girl

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

What a magnificent pair of woman! Sorry about the wrinkles and creases on the photo; it looks like this was a much-treasured magazine centerfold poster that got folded and unfolded many times. Still, it’s Sophia Loren in all her bare-breasted semi-nude glory:

sophia loren nude on a pinup poster

2013 update: I did some more research and found a better (bigger and not creased) version of this sexy photo, sourced it to the French version of an Italian movie, and (bonus!) found several more nude photos of Sophia Loren to share with you.

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Nudity In Death’s Mirror

Monday, October 29th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a bit of fine art that seems appropriate for the upcoming Halloween holiday. Skeletal Death in a top hat, stripping a woman nude in public to show her that her beauty, too, is mortal? I’m not sure, but it’s just a wee bit creepy:

death and a maiden

 

The Woman In The Waves

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

This is just an amazing piece of nude art:

the nude woman in the waves

It’s The Woman In The Waves by Gustave Courbet, from 1868.

 

Laundry Woman

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Enlightened men these days know better than to expect a woman to do their laundry. (Although, I must confess, The Nymph is so horrified by my “if it didn’t survive the hot cycle with my other clothes, I didn’t need to own it anyway” laundry philosophy that she doesn’t let me touch so much as a dirty sock these days.)

“Expect” is one thing. “Appreciate” is quite another:


femjoy selena as the cutest ever naked laundress

From FEMJOY.

 

De Niro and Depardieu Getting Handjobs

Monday, September 17th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

OK, ladies and select gentlemen: you owe me for this one. OMG Blog calls this the “infamous two-fisting hooker scene”:

De Niro naked and getting jerked off

Depardieu naked and getting a hand job

Yes, that’s Gerard Depardieu and Robert De Niro the both of them, nekkid as jaybirds and getting simultaneous handjobs from a multi-tasking hooker. Celebrities would not be nearly as entertaining if they didn’t all have a “I was young and broke and unknown and naked” phase!

The movie was something called Novocento, back in 1976. OMG Blog has more, including a video clip.

 

How To Polish Boots

Sunday, September 9th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

In which Slave Barb seduces someone who’s not into “that kinky submission stuff” into letting her polish his boots:

“You are not going to the show wearing those boots are you?”
I teased.

“Why not? What’s wrong with them?” he looked down, turning his foot from side to side.
“They’re filthy and they look like hell. You should let me clean them up for you.”

He stared hard at me. “Look, I know you’re in to all that kinky submission stuff, but I am not. And I am not interested.”
“I offered to clean and shine your boots for you, I didn’t offer to be your slave or for you to spank me. Piss off!”

“Hey, I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t understand all the stuff you’ve been getting in to. It’s…weird.”

“Weird? Have you ever seen me as happy and well adjusted as I have been in the past year? No? Well then, I guess I’m just weird.”
“Do my boots really look shitty?” Ahhh, appealing to his fashion sense is the way to his heart.

“Yes, you look like a perfectly disheveled crack addict, not the dashing punk you’re trying to look like.” I smirked at him. “Let me get myboot kit and work on them real quick. You like how shiny MY boots look, right?”
He glanced down at my feet. “You can make mine look like yours?”

“Well, yours won’t grow a high heel, but yes, I can make them look shiny and pretty.”
“Ok. But no kinky stuff”

“Oh, shut up and sit down and pour yourself some wine”
I hustled over to the cabinet and got out my boot kit. Crap, why did I push him so hard? I mean,

yeah, I’ve had a crush on him forever — he’s had a crush on me forever too, but… I swung by the kitchen to fill up a little bowl of water to go with the saddle soap.
He was sitting on the couch and was fidgeting with the cork screw.

I hiked up me skirt as I knelt down on the rug at his feet.
“What are you doing?” He asked, dropping the cork screw and backing up as far as the back of the couch would allow.

“I’m pulling up my skirt so it doesn’t get dirty — would you prefer that I take it off?” I asked wickedly, with a grin.
“N-n-no.” he replied.

“Good. Because I wasn’t intending on doing this nude.” He smiled back.
I picked up his boot. Well, I tried to pick it up. “Look, relax — I’m going to black your boots, not cut your foot off.”

“Sorry.” He let me pick up his boot this time.
I pulled his foot towards me and settled it on my thigh as I knelt. “Hmmm….”

“Hmm, What?”

“I was thinking ‘hmmm… what a mess’….”
“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”
I picked up the lighter.

“What’s that for?” He started pulling away.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake! Sit still, drink your Shiraz and be quiet. Obviously you’re not interested in what I’m doing or your boots wouldn’t look like this.”

I looked over his boots and ah-ha! A loose thread. I lit that Zippo and melted it off.
“Oh!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah. Oh.” He grinned down sheepishly.
I checked out his other boot and burned off another 2 threads.

Back to the first boot… I opened my tin of saddle soap. “Want to smell?, I asked as I lifted the tin to his face.
“Mmmm, nice. Much nicer that I thought it would be.”

I picked up my little brush, dipped it in that little bowl of water and lathered up the saddle soap.
I spread it over his right boot, working it into all the crevices around the sole, the harness and up the shaft. I put down the brush and started rubbing the lather in with my moist hands. I looked up surreptitiously thru my bangs to see the expression on his face. Bingo! A lovely cross between ecstasy and bewilderment. What have we here? I laughed to myself — a Boot Top in the making?

There’s a lot more, complete with flaming boot polish.

 

Beautiful Vintage Woman

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

The reader who sent me this vintage photo claims this beauty is “the most beautiful woman ever”. I dunno about that, but she’s surely very beautiful. I doubt she ever got kicked out of bed for eating crackers:

vintage beauty

 

The Pleasure Of Farm Girls

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

I don’t point y’all very often at the free promo galleries for glamor nude photographers. Partly this is because after awhile, all those nineteen year old blondes start to look the same. And partly it’s because there are so darned many — enough to populate a thousand “babe blogs” with automated scripts that post hundreds of free sample photos every day. How can he compete, an old-fashioned meatware blogger like myself, who rivets each post together by hand using nothing but a cold chisel, a rock, Microsoft Notepad, and a bucket of hot tar?

And yet, unlike a scripted babe log robot, I am human, and I am male. Which means that sometimes a random blonde in the firm hands of a capable photographer can make me catch my breath and think “Hmmm. Have that one bathed and sent to my tent.” Or, in this case: “Maybe I should reconsider that whole not-being-a-farmer career decision.”

Meet Lia. You know you’d like to:

femjoy model lia nude on the farm

She’s a model for FemJoy. You can see quite a lot more of her for free in this sample gallery.

I’ll give you one more look here. I’m thinking an ambitious young man with a spare sweater and a bottle of insect repellent cream (not spray, ye daft bugger!) could make a wonderful new friend:

femjoy lia shivering naked in the woods

Pictures courtesy of FemJoy.

 

Naked Tickle Picnic

Thursday, July 26th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Ah, the long hot days of summer, the picnics, the lounging in the shade, the naked girls tickling each other with bits of foilage:

vintage nude girls tickling each other

From the newish and very pretty Eye Candy Blog.

 
 

The Training Of O

Monday, July 2nd, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Fans of the leading edge porn from San Francisco’s Kink.com have been looking forward for weeks to today’s grand opening of the new “reality BDSM” site, The Training of O. According to the promo material, The Training of O documents real, gritty, multi-day training sessions with submissive models, who “earn their stripes in erotic servitude” and “prove their determination to train by enduring grueling tasks of initiation.”

“Grueling tasks”, indeed! I am delighted and amused to see an old BDSM print-fiction trope come alive: namely, the huge and pointless dirty job for the naked slavegirl to perform, an endless round of weary nude labor with no earthly hope of completion in time to avoid punishment. This is grit you would not be seeing in your typical San Fernando Valley “omigawd, I might break a fingernail” posed-and-phoney BDSM porn. Here’s the glamor shot (from this introductory shoot) of a poor naked girl who’s been handed a shovel and pointed at a very large pile of dirt somewhere in the bowels of the awesome Armory shooting location:

naked slavegirl shovels dirt

Indeed, I was so entertained by this earthmoving project that I grabbed a few screen captures from the video. Those white heels and frilly sock-stockings are never gonna make it through this day:

naked slave girl digging dirt in pretty white high heels and socks

Adding insult to injury, our unfortunate submissive is being made to haul that dirt quite a ways, which is real work when you do it with a shovel, as any former day laborer knows:

naked slave girl hauling dirt on a shovel

But the life of a slave can always get worse! Now the poor thing has lost her shovel privileges (my guess would be for excessive whining):

naked slave girl with no shovel picking up dirt in her arms

Does she look sufficiently put-upon yet?

naked slavegirl hauling dirt in her arms and looking pissed off

Try not to look so abject, m’dear. Cheer up, we haven’t even gotten to the chaining-and-caning part, starring about eighty pounds of steel chain and your pretty bottom! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves; a girl who gets that dirty has to be very thoroughly washed.

A detailed story at Xbiz.com sets out the new site concept in even greater detail:

“It’s a startling site,” director James Mogul told XBIZ. “It’s ‘reality BDSM’ so that elicits a lot of reactions, and I think the content is super-strong. I would say it’s realistic in terms of what you might expect to see in an actual BDSM exchange.”

The basic premise of the site involves models videotaped over a weeklong course in submission training. “I’ve actually developed a training program,” Mogul said. “We take applicants and interview them and develop a curriculum based on their experience. Some girls we worked with are very experienced and some girls are brand new and I think we’re hitting a wide range of the scope. We are going to mix it up. The plan is to go with about 75 percent fresh talent and about 25 percent of the content will be experienced, known talent that we can kind of push boundaries with a little bit.”

Shot at the company’s new production facility, the massive San Francisco Armory building, Mogul is able to utilize several different sets to create a gritty, authentic atmosphere.

The spaces are beautiful. The decay is beautiful. It’s like walking onto a movie set all made for you,” Mogul said. “There’s really nothing that needs to be done in terms of the aesthetics, but there is a lot that needs to be done in terms of making production practical and that’s coming together very, very quickly.”

As always, it’s the aesthetics of the production that will set The Training of O apart from what’s been done before. Just one more example: Here’s Sarah Jane Ceylon in the handiest-ever slavegirl head box, complete with portable glory hole and cork:

slavegirl in the head box

Just the thing for punishments or blowjobs, or even for providing the peace and quiet a weary slave needs after a hard day’s training.

naptime for a boxed slavegirl

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Leda And The Swan

Sunday, June 10th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

If your grasp of mythology is sub-par like mine, you might sometimes wonder “What is it with all these images of naked women and swans?”

For all the answers you might want, there’s an extended discussion (with many many images) at Silent Porn Star.

All you’re going to get for an answer here is a Yeats poem and a strangely menacing rear-entry swan:

Leda menaced from behind by swan

Leda And The Swan, by William Butler Yeats, 1928

A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.

How can those terrified vague fingers push
The feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
And how can body, laid in that white rush,
But feel the strange heart beating where it lies?

A shudder in the loins engenders there
The broken wall, the burning roof and tower
And Agamemnon dead.

Being so caught up,
So mastered by the brute blood of the air
Did she put on his knowledge with his power
Before the indifferent beak could let her drop?

 

Betrayed By A Bad Boyfriend

Sunday, May 27th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Now, this is just low. Nice girl, goes out with the boys for a day of fishing and roaring around in the motorboat, has two or three beers, snuggles safely back into her boyfriend’s arms and lets the combined effect of beer, sunshine, motor noise, and boat vibration lull her to sleep.

Bad move:

girl photographed nude while asleep on a motorboat

Moral: Never go fishing with swine…

 

Here Comes Hitler With His Pecker In His Hand

Friday, May 25th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

This song is a song about Alice.

No. Wait. I mean, this post is a post about Hitler’s dick. Not quite the same.

But, the post does come with a soundtrack.

Yours is the dubious obligation of constructing the soundtrack in your mind. Remember The Colonel Bogey March from Bridge On The River Kwai? Good. Whistle a couple of bars quietly to yourself to bring it back to you. Then start again, while reading the words:

Hitler has only got one ball,
Goering has two but very small,
Himmler is somewhat sim’lar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.

Repeat as needed. Your seven year old son could probably go on for an hour, laughing with glee between repetitions. Even though he’s probably never heard of most of the people whose genitalia he’d be mocking.

OK, enough rambling. Now I have to live up to my title. What, you don’t think I can do it?

Oh ye of little faith! You should know me better than that by now:

hitler with his penis in his hand

No, of course it’s not real. It’s British propaganda. Nobody beats the British at the game of penis propaganda. Not, at least, when they have the balls to actually publish the stuff:

An old army colonel – he had served a lifetime in Poona, an experience which had not failed to leave its mark on him – had found it on the table of my secret printer whom he had visited with a view to acquiring some of our latest philatelic counterfeits. When he saw this particular piece of pornography he was almost beside himself with indignant fury. I did not want to hurt the old man by challenging him to battle over an item of pornography to which in any case I attached no great importance. So I immediately withdrew it. But it was not really all that bad.

The German army’s propaganda unit had been putting out a series of leaflets purporting to expose how the enemy was retouching photographs and faking them to convey untruths. By this time my “Black” printer was an expert at counterfeiting german documents, using the same type, the same paper, and the same size as the German original. So I got him to put the same title on our counterfeit. ” Wie sie falshen”, it said ( How they forge ). Then with a suitable text we exposed a palpable forgery of a Hitler photograph, which we attributed to the despicable treachery of an internal enemy. The genuine original photograph showed Hitler in his usual saluting posture, right arm upraised, his left resting on the buckle of his belt. The forgery however showed a huge penis under his left hand. Our caption read: ” This is a most appalling forgery, Everyone one know the Fuhrer does not possess anything of the kind”. Well, I don’t really blame the old colonel. As pornography this item was not attractive. In fact, it was revolting. All the same, I would have been interested to have seen what effect it had on the German propagandists.

See also Leon Trotsky Whipping Two Nude Girls.

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Nude Cleopatra

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 -- by Bacchus

This awesome vintage nude Cleopatra figure is from the astounding [and, sadly, deleted somewhen after 2007] photostream of Flickr user silvernightingale, your go-to person for vintage harem girls, showgirls, belly dancers, divas, and so forth.

nude cleopatra

2019 update: I managed to find a somewhat larger version of this image, in a shape and framing suggesting it was originally a stereoscope view:

nude Cleopatra stereoscope slide view

 

Pamela Anderson Can Take A Freakin’ Number

Saturday, May 5th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Your “duh!” weekend celebrity news:

Pamela Anderson: “Johansson should do Playboy”

Playboy veteran Pamela Anderson wants to see movie beauty Scarlett Johansson disrobe for the men’s magazine.

Anderson, who has posed for Playboy a record 12 times, believes the Lost In Translation star would be ideal for Hugh Hefner’s raunchy publication.

She says, “Scarlett Johansson would definitely be my number one choice. But I doubt she would agree to do it.

Err, any dissenters?

scarlett johansson not nude dammit

 

Proud Vintage Nude Woman

Monday, April 30th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

I love the proud stance of the woman in this vintage nude photo from Titty Blog:

vintage nude

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French Nude Daguerreotype

Saturday, April 21st, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Before there were French postcards — hell, before there were nude photographs — there were daguerreotypes, and of course those early daguerrotypists, being French, pointed their metal plates coated with stinky chemicals at the nude ladies. (Well, perhaps not ladies in the social sense of the word.) With results of a surprisingly modern character:

nude french daguerreotype

The image is from a large French daguerrotype from the mid 1850s, currently to be found in the collection of the J. Paul Getty Museum, and titled (by them) Nude Study of a Black Woman. A bit of erudite commentary can be found here:

I do not recall how I first came to find her image, but I knew instantly that it was rare and important. It was stored in a box all by itself, and I would probably never have found it had I not worked in the museum that owned it. She was extraordinary — a young black woman in France almost 140 years ago, naked and displayed and open and touching herself and reclining and smiling. The lace coverlet on which she is posed reminds me fondly, sweetly of my own grandmother’s linens, while her frankness and sexuality remind me of everything that is not my grandmother. Through all of my research I have never seen another piece of 19th century photo erotica quite like this. The daguerreotype plate is of an impressive size, and I wonder what was so extraordinary about this model to merit such special treatment, since by the mid 1850s, when this was made, the popularity of daguerreotypes in France was waning in favor of simpler positive/negative processes. Moreover, I am intrigued by what could possibly be the connection between this photographer’s model, perhaps a prostitute, a continent and a culture and a century and a half away, and me.

She is completely bare except for her head wrapped in the fashion of West Indian women. Ironically, despite her complete exposure, this small cultural marker is the only real clue as to who she might have been. She is positioned awkwardly, expressly for the act of being viewed, and we seem to see every inch of her except for her lower legs and feet. The focal point of the image, her open crotch, is coyly out of focus, yet with the explicit placement of her fingers she invites us to look, simultaneously avoiding the viewer with her gaze. Either in modesty or carnal complicity, the medium obscures her sex in murkiness.

 

Starlets Cheek To Cheek

Saturday, April 14th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Rosario Dawson and Rose McGowan may not be starlets any more, but they’ve been making the “almost-naked-starlets” round of the “lad mags” (you, know, Cosmo-for-men titles like Maxim and FHM) for quite awhile now. They were very watchable in Grindhouse and they don’t hurt the eyes on the cover of Rolling Stone, either:

rosario dawson and rose mcgowan wearing nothing but ammo belts

I find it funny that Rosario Dawson asked her brother whether she was hot enough to pose almost-nude:

Dawson admits she checked with her brother, who DJs at a strip club, before agreeing to bare all for the publication: “He was like, ‘Well, you know, I saw you (naked) in ALEXANDER (and) you’re pretty fit, so that’s alright.”

“You’re pretty fit”, I’m laughing my butt off. Well, I guess that’s as close as a loyal brother can come to saying “You’re hot as hell and everybody wants to see your naked ass on the cover of Rolling Stone.”

Thanks to World Sex News for the link.

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Vintage French Erotic Postcard

Friday, April 13th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

I never get tired of the old “French Postcards” vintage nudes:

french nude with tambourine

From Usenet.

 

Beastie Art

Saturday, April 7th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

I’ve got a disturbing drawing for everyone to enjoy. Don’t worry, it’s art, you can tell by the disturbance.

First a detail from the drawing. Not too disturbing, unless you wonder why she seems to cower. You could hope she’s just shading her eyes from the awesome and majestic sight of her lover’s manly prong. But why’s he got her in the empty corner of an empty room? It’s potentially worrisome:

kubin nude detail

It gets a lot more worrisome when you see the whole sketch, which is by one Czech illustrator named Alfred Kubin, and dates from 1902:

kubin beastie porn?

So, is this beastiality porn, or not? And what is that furry critter, anyway? A thousand-pound harmless little flop-eared doggie? I guess it’s safe to say he’s a “beast”, anyway.

You can tell it’s art by the way it grips you with implications, but gives you no way to tell which of the things you infer were actually and deliberately implied by the artist, and which were really just the product of your own fevered imagination.

(This is what happens when you send somebody to a liberal arts college and then don’t make him take any art history or appreciation classes. You wind up almost twenty years later with tiny little art criticism essays that feel like they were block-printed in crayon. Does anybody have the “Flesh” one? The girl in the corner looks a little pale.)

 

Public Blowjob, Public Spectacle

Saturday, March 24th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

It never fails. You’re heading for the nude beach with your girl, and before you even get there she pulls you into a shady patch of bushes for a quick blowjob. But before you know it, you’re being watched by a pair of nudists with absolutely no concept of “personal moment”:

public blowjob in front of nudist audience

Picture is from Usenet.

 

Porn And Meat

Thursday, February 1st, 2007 -- by Bacchus

I hate to just dump a picture post, so here’s a picture to make you think:

nude woman tied to fender of truck like game

The interesting question is, what does it make you think? Discuss among yourselves.

For me, it raises all sorts of questions. Is it supposed to be funny, in a mock-heroic Great White Hunter sort of way? (Obviously not very* funny, but I think I found it on Urod.ru, where the humor tends to run low. You can’t entirely blame those low-brow Russki misogynists, though, because that truck is an American classic or I’ll eat the hood ornament.)

Or is it supposed to be a deep feminist commentary on the treatment of women in porn? Or on the treatment of women, in general?

Or, contrariwise, might it be a direct reminder message from the Patriarchy on the supposed equation between women and meat?

We might know more if we knew who the photographer was. Which says a lot, all by itself, about the difficulty of finding meaning in a context-less photograph.

Have fun, but be nice.

 

Feral Girl Playing Naked Twister

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

Naked Twister is a perennial favorite here at ErosBlog, but I think I’ve found the largest-breasted exemplar yet seen in the wild. From the new-but-coming-along-fast Titty Blog comes this crouching nude twister-lady with a feral gleam in her eye and some notably pendulous breasts:

naked twister

I’m not sure if she’s planning a fast transition to a game of leapfrog, or if she’s just spotted new prey and she’s poised to pounce.

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The Domestic Arts

Friday, January 5th, 2007 -- by Bacchus

nude woman with broom and dustpan

“Oh, her? That’s the cleaning lady.”

 

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

Sunday, December 24th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

It’s Christmas Eve of course, and so many folks will be leaving milk and cookies out for Santa Clause. If you should accidentally spill the milk, make sure not to let it go to waste:

nude woman licking up spilled milk

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Happy To See The Train

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006 -- by Bacchus

This photograph is a reminder about why people take the train. It’s for the scenery, of course:

two pretty nude girls happy to see the train go by

 

Naked Snowball Thrower

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

There’s something very festive about a snowball-wielding woman wearing nothing but a Santa hat:

nude woman prepares to throw a holiday snowball

 

What I Want For Christmas

Thursday, December 14th, 2006 -- by Aphrodite

Dear Santa or Buddha or Whoever,

Forget the rocket and pony and all the other material crap. This is what I want for Christmas:

Nude man on a sand dune

If he isn’t available, something close will work just as well.

Thank you,

Aphrodite

(Found at Nick Ash Photography.)

 

Postcard Kissing

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

That freaky Cupid, he’ll stop at nothing:

cupid kissing a nude woman

Cropped from an old postcard.

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Nymphs! Frolicking! Nude!

Tuesday, December 5th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

In my Bacchus persona as well as in real life, it’s fair to say I don’t know much about art. But I know what I like:

naked girls frolicking in a forest clearing

And if it isn’t pretty girls frolicking naked in the sunshine, I don’t know what it might be. Art, I tell you, art! And the artist is one Charles Joseph Frederic Soulacroix. Here’s a slightly larger version.

Now, who brought the butter?

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Another Angle On The Nudist Women

Friday, November 17th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Here’s another, perhaps better, angle on the pair of sun-worshipping nudist women shown below, the ones who look like mother and daughter to me. (Lots of commenters disagree.) Perhaps the different angle will shake loose some different opinions:

sunworshipping nude women

 

Mother And Daughter Nudists

Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Another striking vintage photo, a pair of pretty nude sunbathers on a sunny day. But something about their features makes me think: perhaps these two are mother and daughter?

pretty nude sunbathers, perhaps mother and daughter

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Pretty Nude Protester

Sunday, October 15th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

The previously-moribund Naked Protesters site appears to be rising from the dead; they’ve begun posting some of the recent crop of nude activist photos, such as this one:

bare-breasted protesters

 

Prettiest Polar Bear

Sunday, October 15th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

You’ve doubtless heard of the Polar Bear Club, that group of (usually) middle-aged-guys who go out on New Year’s Day (or some other suitable midwinter day), cut a hole in the ice, and jump into the hole (extra points for nekkidness). This phenomenon seems to happen anywhere that’s suitably wintry (Nome, Siberia, Minnesota) but the further north you get, the more participants seem to turn up.

Without further ado, then. They are not all middle-aged guys. This is the prettiest Polar Bear Club member I’ve ever seen:

pretty nude girl in cold water

From Sexoteric.

 

Former Supermodel I’ve Never Heard Of, Nude

Friday, October 13th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Ah, and now — after my link tip post below — the fruits of one of the triggering tips. Frank from OMG Blog sent me a Helena Christensen nude spread tip. Turns out Helena Christensen is not (presumably) his girlfriend; she’s a “former supermodel”. Whatever, she’s pretty and she’s nude:

supermodel helena christensen naked

Thanks, Frank!

 

Link Tips And Celebrity Nudes

Friday, October 13th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a little tip for folks sending me link tips. In the last week I’ve gotten a handful in this format:

[Female Name I’ve Never Heard Of] nude photos: {link}

To which my reaction is: “What, is she your girlfriend or something?”

Typically I don’t even bother to click. I’m not a celeb watcher, I don’t read People, I don’t know who Baby SueMe is or why she’s got twenty pages in Vanity Fair (I heard that on CNN while failing to click past Larry King fast enough).

There are people nominated for Oscars that I’ve never heard of. Their names won’t even get a “What, isn’t she some kind of actress?” from me. When it comes to modern celebrity culture, I’m clueless.

So here’s the tip: If you want to send me a link tip like this, make sure you include a hook. Say: “Nude pictures of So-and-So, you know, the girl who got caught with Meatloaf on the observation deck of the Space Needle wearing nothing but a latex bra.”

 

Summer Sun Worshipper

Saturday, September 30th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

It’s the end of September, summer is fast becoming but a memory, and so I think it’s time and past time for one more dose of sun-worshipping beauty from Hippie Goddess:

nude sun worshipper

I dunno about you, but that’s warming me up!

 

Three Fecund Women

Monday, September 25th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Another lovely vintage photograph:

pregnant nude women

 

Showing Some Skin For Sports Cars

Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

At first glance, I thought this beckoning woman was dressed and undressed for Mardi Gras. But I took a second look at her, um, decorative elements, and realized that her modesty, what she has left of it, is protected by the Ferrari logo. She’s not a parade goer, she’s a motoring enthusiast!

woman showing a lot of skin for ferrari

 

Gardening Naked

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

When I was a kid, I learned very young not to go near my mother’s garden on warm sunny days, unless I made a lot of noise along the way, or unless I wanted to see a whole lot more of her than I normally did. She was no hippie — not by the standards of the day, anyway — but she believed in “back to the land”, organic gardening, and Mother Earth News. And, apparently, in gardening in the nude, weather permitting. This photo (it’s from Hippie Goddess, and no, it’s not my mother, that’d be too weird) reminded me of those days I’d have to sing and clatter when I was going to the garden:

naked woman gardening

 

Nude Postcard Beauty

Friday, August 11th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Old postcard nudes are a favorite of mine, but this one from Rare Erotica is just about the prettiest I’ve ever seen:

naked ethiopian beauty on vintage italian nudie postcard

 

What’s in YOUR Panties?

Thursday, August 10th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Summertime, just sittin’ on the beach minding her own business, and suddenly she has to know: “Hey, what’s this in my panties?”

nude beach girl inspecting the contents of her panties

From Usenet.

 

In A Holding Pattern

Thursday, July 27th, 2006 -- by Aphrodite

Thanks to everybody that helped after J’s and my first fight. I told him some of the things that were written there, and after we made up I showed him where I got it from. He was shocked, but not mad, and said he needs to think about things. That was two days ago. I’m trying to be patient.

Here’s something alot more pleasant for you to enjoy….it’s the season of sexy tan lines, and this black and white photo is just delish!

sexy tan lines

One of several nude photos in SkyShaper’s Flickr gallery.

 

Not Ignorant, Adamant

Saturday, July 1st, 2006 -- by Bacchus

I’m on record as thinking that colorblindness, even willful colorblindness, is a good thing, and as being baffled by people who want to sort their porn by the race of the performers. So you can imagine my distaste upon seeing Audacia Ray — a smart political sort with whom I’m often in agreement on matters of porn — characterize my commitment to colorblindness as a sort of liberal ignorance.

Hint: It’s not “ignorance” to reject racial classifications as a basis for your worldview, and it’s certainly not liberal in a world where affirmative action is an icon of liberal political correctness. If you can’t see a person without having a racial classification for them pop into your head, you’re part of the problem. Worse yet, every time anybody slaps racial tags or identifiers on anybody else, this whole sordid business of “race” is reinforced and strengthened. I don’t refuse to participate in that out of ignorance, I refuse to participate in it because I’m adamantly convinced it’s a bad business.

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Nudes, With Breakfast

Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

We all know that frying bacon in the nude is an adventure, but these ladies seem to be scrambling eggs, which is safer. Is somebody getting breakfast in bed?

naked women making breakfast

Vintage photo is from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

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Riding The Old Pitchfork

Saturday, May 6th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

I differ from the usual run of sex bloggers in that I’m not as urban as seems to be the norm. My roots are rural, and I don’t freak out when the only coffee in the county is called “coffee” and costs less than a buck.

So I can tell you with some authority that there remain, in this vast country of ours, a fair few young men whose entire ambition is to get some land, plant it, find a good farm wife, and settle down to a life of endless unremunerative hard labor. The good farm wife, as you can imagine, is a very important factor in this bucolic vision of paradise.

Thus I can well imagine the reaction of some young rural swain as he spies this Venus arising from the stock-watering tank:

good farm wife pitchforking in the nude

And the reaction is this: “Yup, she’ll do.”

Hey, at least he knows she knows how to ride a pitchfork.

Picture is from Usenet.

 

She’s What’s On

Saturday, April 29th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

“Watch the game? No, I don’t think you’ll be watching the game tonight.”

woman standing naked in front of an old console television

 

Half Nude Ladies Boxing

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

I tell you what, if they conducted women’s boxing in the manner shown in this vintage picture, it would be a lot more popular:

nude girls boxing

The picture (from a postcard most of a century old) also proves that the “pay models to fight with their clothes off” porn concept was not invented by Ultimate Surrender and its ilk.

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Nude Women, Skin Color, Huh?

Sunday, April 9th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Although I linked early to Ethnorotica because of its general high style and because it’s the not-so-secret project of Lex from the excellent Naked Loft Party, I’m not fundamentally sympathetic to its “shine a light on the best in ethnic erotica” mission. I guess I’m still old-fashioned enough to dream of a world where a pretty naked woman is judged not by the color of her skin, but by the contents of her birthday suit. When it comes to ethnicity in porn, I myself am frequently oblivious; I’ve posted pretty pictures on this blog and been taken aback by comments that mentioned the color of the models, because that was not one of the features I noticed. Frankly, people who do notice make me a little nervous; I have a hard time imagining benign reasons for categorizing people by color in any context.

All of which is by way of lengthy introduction to this vintage postcard beauty, which may not be exactly the sort of ethnorotica Lex has in mind:

beauty in Africa

This postcard (which is probably pre-1970s, judging from the scalloped edges) appears to be a fairly late entry in the 120-year-old category of “ethnic nude” postcard photography. I’m not generally inclined to post these vintage postcard pictures, because their focus on “ethnic” identity strikes me as a poor reason to take or display nude photos. But beauty is beauty, and sometimes good art (or good porn) happens for bad reasons. I find this young woman’s picture just too pretty not to share.

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The Britney Spears Pregnant Rear View

Friday, April 7th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

When I posted about the life sized statue of Britney Spears kneeling nude on a bearskin rug and giving birth (hey, aren’t those furs hard to clean?) there was some complaint about the lack of a rear view. With all due respect for pregnancy fetishists, I myself (on grounds of aesthetics) thought it was just as well that no rear view was available.

Well, it never pays to underestimate the power of the internet. Gawker has the unflattering angle you were all looking for. Thanks (I think) to Chris for emailing the link.

2013 update: A commenter points out that Gawker is no longer serving the image in question. Since we’re now buried deep in the archives where nobody will see this who is not looking for it (I hope) I’ll reproduce the photo (thank you, Internet Archive and the Wayback Machine!) that Gawker can’t be bothered to serve any more:

rear view of statue of Britney Spears giving birth

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Britney Spears Nude And Pregnant

Saturday, March 25th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Here are a couple of photographs of a life-sized statue of Britney Spears giving birth. Questionable taste? Who cares, it’s Britney Spears naked!

bitney spears naked and pregnant

britney spears naked and giving birth

Of course all art is political and this statue is assuredly no exception. For the backstory and the blah blah blah and the link credits and the source website with the popups, go see the story on Boing Boing.

See also: Britney Spears Pregnant: The Rear View

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Sex In The Tent

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006 -- by Bacchus

So, there was this girlfriend once. I took her tent camping to a spectacular place in a fairly cool climate, and I made sure we had two new sleeping bags that zipped together into one big one. My first hint that the relationship was in trouble was when she refused to let me zip them together. It was all downhill from there.

Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be cool (metaphorically or otherwise) in this tent tonight:

nude campers in a tent

Picture is from Usenet.

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Your Work Is Not Safe For Sex Or Boobies

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 -- by Bacchus

A long time ago I ranted against the blog tradition of labeling adult links as “not safe for work”:

I hate the way people refer to ErosBlog as not work safe. It’s a pet peeve. See, the deal is, ErosBlog is safe for work, although perhaps not conducive to getting any done. If it’s not safe for you to view ErosBlog where you work, it’s your work that’s not safe for ErosBlog. Just because some of my readers live in the United States and choose to work in environments where they are treated like horny fifth-graders and assumed to be unable to make responsible choices about viewing and displaying sexual material, there’s no reason to call the blog unsafe, especially when other readers and potential readers live or work in less repressive societies (or environments, such as their own office or home) where the blog is perfectly safe. Folks, if your work isn’t safe for ErosBlog, consider getting some different work! And if you can’t do that (and I know a lot of folks feel stuck in their lives) at least don’t assume that everyone else in the world is in the same boat.

Fast forward to today, when security expert Bruce Schneier posted a blog entry about the novelty nude Euro bills being passed as real money:

nude novelty euro bill

The very first comment in response to his post was a stiff complaint about the link he posted:

Bruce, next time, it would be an idea to indicate the link might not be safe for work. Some of us might have some explaining to do if looking at those images.

I really liked Bruce’s incredulous response:

You have got to be kidding. Where in the world do you work?

The sentiments from my long-ago rant were echoed by a different commenter:

I think if you could get into trouble by just reading the article linked by Bruce, then you really have a harsh working environment. What about a change of work?

Sadly, several other folks chimed in to support the complainer. It’s not just one person who wants their links pre-vetted to include warnings against newsworthy boobie artwork, it’s lots of people. The job culture, I swear it’s a menace.

 

Naked Hippies In Love

Thursday, March 16th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Judging by the hair and the beads and the vintage tones of the color photography, this happy scene from Usenet might date all the way back to the original Summer Of Love. No matter, it’s clearly a summer of love:

Nude hippies in love and frolicking at the beach

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Nude Women Wrestling

Monday, March 6th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

More naked women, wrestling. How does this ever get old?

nude girls wrestling

From Ultimate Surrender. Isis Love and Tory Lane.

 

Toasted Buns

Friday, March 3rd, 2006 -- by Bacchus

With a title like “Toasted Buns” on a sex blog, you’d expect a spanking picture. But you’d be wrong:

woman warms her bare bottom by a crackling fire

There’s the sort of woman who’s no fun to go camping with (“Honeeee, I need to wash my hair…”) and then then there’s the sort who is.

 

Heidi Klum In An Ounce Of Paint

Tuesday, February 21st, 2006 -- by Bacchus

You know that springtime is coming when you see Heidi Klum in Sports Illustrated wearing nothing but an ounce of body paint:

Heidi Klum nude in body paint

Yum yum.

 

Vintage Japanese Magazine Covers

Friday, February 10th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a great page of scanned covers from vintage Japanese nudie magazines. Nothing explicit, but it’s still fun to see:

nude japanese woman with a gun

 

Nude CSI

Friday, February 10th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

I’ve been fond of the actress Emily Proctor ever since her Ainsley Hayes character waltzed through Capitol Hill on The West Wing, stealing muffins everywhere she went while destroying blonde stereotypes with strong, intelligent dialogue. Now, of course, she’s a fixture on CSI. I was accordingly pleased to discover that she bared her breasts in the 1990s in a movie called “Breast Men”:

Emily Proctor nude

Found on alt. binaries. nude. celebrities.

 

Sexy Ladies Across The Decades

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 -- by Aphrodite

There’s something about vintage sexy pictures that I really like. Part of it is that being in the smut business was, well, smuttier back then. People’s expressions are different too. Some look bored, others look kind of embarrassed or high, and sometimes they look like they’re really enjoying themselves, not in today’s fake-smile way. You also learn alot, like that all kinds of kink happened way back when. Here are some pictures that show what I mean.

Vintage Switching from Retro Raunch

She looks like she’s sizing her victim up! Will he get the switch or not? (And what is up with that goofy hat on the chair?)

The next lady is one of the ones that look like they’re really enjoying themselves and will rip anybody that criticizes her a new one.

Happy Nude from Retro Raunch

When I saw this picture the song “Afternoon Delight” popped into my head, and now it’s stuck there, ugh.

Sexy Nude Floating Girl

But she is lovely and it would be delightful to splash with her. Thanks to for all these pictures, and lots more! Their pictures are better than these, because I shrank these some. Also a big thank you kiss to Wombat at Kiss & Blog for telling us chicks that confidence is sexy, even when our body isn’t perfect. That’s true for you guys, too.

 

Playing Pinball In The Nude

Saturday, January 14th, 2006 -- by Bacchus

To wash the taste of spam out of my mouth, how about some nice vintage nude women playing pinball?

female nudists playing pinball

 

Well, I Never! (Saw A Studly Naked Snow Angel)

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006 -- by Bacchus

Friends, I grew up in the frozen north country, and I’ve seen some queer sites under the northern lights. But I never in all my days saw a naked snow angel before:

snow angel made by a nude man

 

Did Santa Bring You A Video iPod?

Monday, December 26th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Perhaps if you were very good (or very naughty, but in a good way) you found a video iPod in your stocking yesterday morning. Lucky you! It’s a nifty toy.

However, in that case you’ll looking for “stuff” to watch on it, so I wanted to remind you of some of the porn resources for the video iPod that I’ve stumbled over in recent weeks. I did a long post about using GUBA to find iPod porn, plus I’ve mentioned (here and here) that two of the kinky sites I sometimes promote have started putting iPod-ready video content in their members areas.

A few more sites where iPod porn is now available to members:

Sex And Submission: (Real bondage sex)

Whipped Ass: (Female/female spanking and domination)

Fucking Machines: (Heavily modified power “tools”)

Men In Pain: (Female domination of men)

Water Bondage: (Just what it sounds like)

Ultimate Surrender: (Nude girls wrestle; winner dominates loser)

Fair warning: Most of these sites have just begun offering their movie clips in iPod format, and they haven’t (yet) converted their archives. So you won’t find hundreds of iPod-ready movies, just the ones from recent updates.

Enjoy!

Update from the future: Hi, this is the future. We have smartphones now. Video iPods? What the hell were those? The good news is, Kink.com now has everything in .mp4 format, in five different sizes. If you’ve got a screen the size of your thumbnail on your watch, or or a TV the size of your living room wall, they’ve got you covered. Ain’t progress grand?

 

Crapping All Over Beauty

Thursday, December 15th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

No, not literally crapping; this isn’t that sort of website.

Over on Figleaf’s Real Adult Sex, Figleaf posted a long entry about folks who come to blogs where there are nekkid pictures, only to leave strongly derisive comments about the nekkid pictures in question. He likened such folks to trolls, and suggested deleting the body-critical comments plus the standard troll cure: ignoring them.

I posted a long comment over there, which this post mostly duplicates, not because I disagree with the prescription (I don’t) but because I don’t think the nasty body-critical comments are really deliberate trolling behavior. A true troll knows he’s a troll; these guys (and they are always guys) are just bringing to the internet their “normal” obnoxious behavior from daily life.

Here at ErosBlog, I’ve always been ruthless about deleting anything that attempts to drag down my attempt at maintaining a body-positive, sex-positive, kink-friendly editorial tone. For example, awhile back I posted some public nude shots of Kirsten Dunst, and attracted a whole host of folks commenting on how ugly her breasts supposedly are. She’s pretty by any reasonable measure, so what’s up with that? I dunno, but the ugly comments I had to delete far outnumbered the ones that remain.

What I’ve learned running a sex blog is that there are a whole host of guys whose only mode of discourse about bodily appearance is to make a negative comment. I think perhaps it originates in adolescent one-upsmanship; one guy says “Sally’s hot, I’d like to do her” and the other guys all say “No, man, she’s a pig, she’s got a huge ass” as a way of belittling the first guy. However it started, the result is a fairly large class of guys whose reflex response whenever they see an erotic picture is to say something mean and ugly about the body depicted.

It’s clearly an act of emotional aggression, some sort of attempt to establish superiority by expressing contempt for that which other people consider beautiful. An extreme form of this (which I’ve seen in various places on the internet) is the “It’s a tranny” game. The way the “game” is played is to post a picture of an unknown but pretty woman, and then wait until other men admit that the woman shown is lustworthy. Then the trap springs, as the original poster (or others) assert “It’s a tranny!” It doesn’t have to be true; the point is merely to score points by belittling another man’s opinions about sexual attractiveness.

I guess the point of all this is to suggest to other bloggers that they not take it quite so personally. If you post your boobs or butt on your blog and some nasty guy makes a rude comment, it’s possible that he doesn’t hate you specifically and didn’t stop by your blog to cause trouble specifically for you. More likely, he’s just a boorish lout who says “fat ass!” by reflex whenever he sees a pretty butt. It’s not aimed at you at all; it’s male posturing aimed at the other men who are admiring your ass.

Sure, delete his comment, just the way you’d evict a stinky drunk who stumbled into your living room from the street. But don’t take the comments so much to heart, any more than you’d worry about the good opinion of the drunk.

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Blowjob On Candid Camera

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

It seems to me that we’ve seen a lot more candid sex pictures since the invention of digital flash photography. Whatever festival parking lot these folks were caught in, I’ll bet it was dark and seemed private enough, until that brilliant flash went off:

nude blowjob in a car door

From alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. voyeurism.

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Women-In-Prison Movies

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Via Bondage Blog, we find an astounding collection of vital data compiled in the Encyclopedia of Women In Prison Films. Including lots of yummy screen shots, like these from Sadomania in 1981:

nude female prisoner in a cage

caged naked woman prisoner being molested with a whip

Obsessive treasures like this are part of what makes the internet so great.

 

Porn For Your Video iPod

Saturday, November 26th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Wow. I just got the new video iPod. Of course I didn’t get it just for viewing porn, but I’ve got a sex blog thing going on here, so I had to try that out.

Unfortunately, the iTunes store doesn’t sell any worthy porn. No worries; like lots of folks, I’ve got a ton of accumulated little porn clips on my hard drive that I’ve downloaded over the years. Lots of it is 320×240 (the dreaded “postage stamp” size) and doesn’t look like much on a computer screen viewed from twenty-four inches away, but on the stunningly vivid iPod screen held a comfortable distance in front of your face, it ought to look real good. So I’ll just bung my video clips into my iTunes library and get busy viewing, right?

Alas, no. There’s a slight flaw in that plan — video formats. The iPod accepts only two formats; video on the PC comes in many different flavors, virtually none of which match what the iPod wants. You want a good explanation for that, talk to a video geek; I don’t pretend to understand it. There are ways to convert, but they don’t sound easy. I Googled the problem and the “best” solution seemed to be to buy expensive conversion software and then expect to wait a long time as each bit of video gets converted properly. Sorry, but I don’t want it that bad.

So how am I gonna get porn for my iPod?

Fortunately, inspiration struck. You’ll have noticed I’m always posting pictures here that I downloaded from the alt.binaries erotica newsgroups on Usenet; the service I use for that is GUBA, a cheap and friendly sort of search appliance for the Usenet visual content that’s otherwise very difficult to find and download. (If you know how to download dirty movies from Usenet without GUBA, you probably already know how to convert all your files into iPod-friendly formats too, while baking a savory peach pie with your other hand.) Maybe GUBA (I thought hopefully) would have some iPod-friendly dirty movies?

Ding ding ding ding ding! Jackpot. It turns out that GUBA is riding the crest of the iPod porn wave; they have recently added a filter that converts almost all of the video on Usenet into iPod-friendly format, so if it’s been posted to Usenet in the last couple of weeks, you can download it iPod-ready. That’s a LOT of porn, folks; the bigger groups (like alt.binaries.multimedia.erotica) can have 2,500 or more video clips (or even whole movies) at any one time. And there are a metric buttload of different porn groups — one for every imaginable fetish.

When it comes to finding and downloading, nothing could be easier. Just pick your flavor (say, nude celebrities from alt.binaries.multimedia.nude.celebrities) and browse the videos — they make it easy with full-screen “contact sheet” style previews, or you can watch online with a nifty streaming Flash application. Here’s a clip of Halle Berry getting naked and nasty (in a good way) in Monster’s Ball (members-only link, will expire in a couple of weeks):

halle berry having sex on screen

All you have to do is hit the “iPod Download” button. Once the file’s on your hard drive, import it into iTunes and it will be added to your iPod the next time you synch up. Easy as pie!

Better still, every newsgroup on GUBA has a nifty “subscribe to Feed in iTunes” button at the top of the page: When I clicked that, I downloaded a .pcast file that loads into iTunes and sets it up to download new movies from the selected group as fast as they appear (bandwidth permitting, and you can eat a lot of it this way). An endless gusher of porn, shooting from the hose faster than you could ever hope to consume it. (I could dirty up that metaphor if you liked.)

None of which would matter much, except for the fact that (just like everyone says) watching video on the iPod is an unexpectedly pleasurable experience. The screen is bright and vivid, the details are sharp, and when the iPod’s in your hand, it naturally gravitates to your most comfortable viewing distance. In many cases, it’s actually quite a lot better than watching the same movies on your computer screen. Plus, you can take the iPod somewhere more comfortable (or more private) than your computer desk, if you are so inclined….

I bought my video iPod to have an iPod, thinking the video would be a mostly-worthless gimmick. Boy, was I wrong. The Nymph (who loves music videos) took one look over my shoulder and began pleading with me to let her play with it — the video is that pretty. At this rate, I may have to buy her a second one!

Update from the future: Apple invented smartphones, killing video iPods deader than the Dodo bird. Meanwhile GUBA pulled a #pornocalypse and got rid of all its porn, trying to compete with YouTube; it was dead and gone in eighteen months. Now this post is nothing but a quaint historical artifact. But The Nymph enjoyed that video iPod for many years, in truth.

 

The Public Breasts Of Kirsten Dunst

Monday, November 21st, 2005 -- by Bacchus

I don’t usually post pictures of nude celebrities that I stumble across, because (to be blunt about it) most celebrities are no more attractive (when they aren’t planning to be photographed) than is the common run of humanity. Plus, candid photos (of anybody) are rarely sexy.

But of course for every rule there is an exception or six, and in the case of naked celebs, there are a few actresses who would be sexy and beautiful if you pulled them out of a stock pond after a stampede. And Kirsten Dunst, I’d say, is one:

Oopsie:

kirsten dunst clutching and trying to hide her bare boobies

 

Wild Naked Dinner Party

Friday, November 18th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

This looks like an artifact from that notorious decade before my time, when folks got naked a lot, smoked whatever they could find, drank hard, ate hard, laughed hard, and grasped life by the short and curlies without fearing the consequences. I’ve never been to a dinner party like the one shown in this vintage photograph, but it sure looks like fun!

nude hippie girls partying hard

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What Is It With Nude Women And Livestock?

Saturday, October 29th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

I’m going to be on the road a lot for the next couple of weeks, so blogging may be light. Since I’ll be driving some through farming country, I suppose it’s appropriate to leave you with more vintage photographs of nude women and livestock.

First, of course, we have the ever popular nude woman and her horse:

nude blonde woman smiling up at her horse

Nothing suprising there. But what the heck is going on in this next picture?

two nude women and a sheep on a chain

Lady, that’s a sheep on a chain, not a lingerie rack!

 

Lame Reasons For Wearing Clothes In Bed

Friday, October 28th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

It’s been a long time since I teased Halley, but I have to tease her now about her Ten Reasons Women Aren’t Sleeping In The Nude. I know she’s trying to explain rather than excuse, but still. I once had a girlfriend who (as things began to sour) started coming to bed wearing a huge full-body “sleeper” (like the ones little kids get zipped into, only without the feet) made out of thick flannel. Then, once she’d settled on the new man, but before she’d bothered to tell me about him, she bought a special blanket made out of rough waffle weave fabric (like thermal underwear only scratchier) and she’d wrap herself up in a cocoon in the scratchy blanket.

It didn’t help when I started to tease her about “setting the anti-submarine nets” while she was wrapping herself in the blanket.

Halley’s reasons for not being nude in bed, summarized and assesed by me:

1) Body self-consciousness. Assessment: Lame. We’ve invited you into our bed, we like your body well enough.

2) Wearing fancy undies. Assessment: Acceptable. We’ll be happy to help you take them off, though.

3) Risk of kids jumping into bed. Assessment: Acceptable. But not strictly necessary. Lots of kids have no problem with the idea that Mommy and Daddy don’t wear clothes in their bedrooom.

4) Don’t want to be nude in case of disaster. Assessment: Lame. Odds are too low.

5) Too many random folks in sleeping environment. Assessment: Acceptable. But fix it already! Or move. Or go naked anyway; it’s possible they will move if it bothers them.

6) Clothes required to be cozy in bed. Assessment: Ultra-lame. Get better bedding.

7) Too much touching when sleeping naked. Assessment: Now the truth comes out. That’s not a bug, it’s a feature. That’s why you should sleep naked. And that’s why your man may object if you won’t. Why are you sleeping with someone you don’t want touching you, anyway?

8) “It’s hard to keep your own hands off yourself sometimes.” LOL — welcome to our world. See above for assessment.

9) Arms get cold. Assessment: Lame. Again, get better bedding. Or snuggle.

10) Feels too libertine for our Puritan heritage. Assessment: Hah, you know that’s lame. Dare!

See, wearing clothes in bed is almost as crazy as wearing clothes to go swimming. No, wait, everybody does that… I’m so confused now.

 

Vintage Nude Postcard

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

This is a pretty picture postcard from the “French Postcard” era, in the category postcard collectors call “Arab Nudes”:

nude arab woman on a French postcard

There’s a whole page of them here; thanks to Good Shit for the link.

 

California Dream Girls

Thursday, October 20th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Where I live, autumn is well advanced, winter is coming, snow is creeping down the mountains, and it’s increasingly grey and dreary out. So finding this sunny vintage picture postcard of nude sunbathing lovelies high above the California coast brightened my day considerably, as I hope it will brighten yours:

Girls nude in California

Of course, I have no proof that scene’s in California; I’m working from clues in the visible architecture and vegetation, but there are many other sunny possibilities.

 

You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours

Tuesday, August 30th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Fellows, can you belive it? There was once a time so backwards, so primitive, that not only did they have to shoot pinup models with black-and-white film, but a pretty girl like this couldn’t find a gentleman to scratch her back, and so she had to make use of primitive wooden tools to get the job done. Shocking!

nude scratching her back

Yet another gem from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

 

Little Reindeer Games

Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

One of the neat things about downloading dirty pictures from Usenet is the way you can stumble across images that are deliciously bizarre. Like this one from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage:

sucking the antlers of a blowup reindeer

As the kids these days like to say: WTF? Is there actually a vinyl-reindeer-antler-sucking fetish out there, or was this model merely bored that day?

 

Summer Fun, Plus Another Hippie Goddess

Sunday, July 31st, 2005 -- by Bacchus

I apologize for the lack of detailed text-heavy posts lately; I’ve been out and about and doing summery stuff instead of sitting pasty-faced behind drawn curtains at my computer. And that’s not going to change any time soon; I plan to spend a good bit of August chasing The Nymph around in actual forests. You know, the kind with trees and bugs and stuff. Once or twice, there may even be cheese-filled hotdogs roasted over campfires on sticks. It should be a good time. But posting will continue to be light.

Meanwhile, here’s a picture that reflects well on where my head is at. It makes me want to feel cold slippery rocks between my toes. I’m nostalgic, if you will, for that special squint you have to do when you’re wading in bright sunshine and half-blind from all the reflections off every ripple. Fishing pole optional. Naked women, a substantial bonus:

naked woman wading in the river

Ah, the joys of summer. (Picture courtesy of Hippie Goddess.)

 

The Romantic Dinner

Wednesday, July 13th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

This came to me in a circulating email entitled “The Perfect Romantic Dinner”:

eating nude from a dog dish under the table

I don’t know about “perfect”, but it looks like it would be fun at least once.

And you just know she’s having a cannoli for desert….

 

The Human Body As Canvas

Tuesday, July 5th, 2005 -- by Aphrodite

I’m fascinated by the beauty of human bodies, and especially by artists who can emphasize it, or add to it in unique ways. Here’s a couple of examples that caught my eye.

Beautiful warm nude embrace

This simple pose is enhanced by the use of light that adds to the warmth of his embrace.

Play of light on nude

This photo is more typical of what I’ve seen in my browsing so far…..a very interesting play of light on a lovely nude body. If you like these, much more awaits your discovery at The Living Canvas, by Pete Guither. If you’re in the Chicago area, you might want to check out a live show.

 

Hippie Goddesses

Tuesday, June 14th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

I love the juxtaposition in this photo between the classic sultry-librarian glasses (straight out of the pages of Playboy circa 1973) and the alterna-chick cute nose ring and tats:

hippy goddess nude

From Hippie Goddess (a pay site, but one with an unusually large gallery of free samples).

 

Naked Rugby

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005 -- by Bacchus

When I was in college, I saw a lot of “coed naked rugby” shirts, but so far as I know, that’s not how the rugby club actually played their games. However, this picture from Usenet shows that in New Zealand, things are different. According to the accompanying scanned newspaper clip, the game took place on Middle Beach somewhere in NZ and included at least one woman. New Zealand trounced England 15-0 in front of more than 200 spectators:

nude rugby players

 

The Losing Contestant…On A Leash

Sunday, May 8th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

The nude girl-wrestling at Ultimate Surrender is always entertaining, but when you look at one of their galleries, you’ve especially got to look at the last couple of photos, in order to see how their “to the victor go the spoils” philosphy will play out. It’s rarely the same twice (although the winners usually aren’t far from their large strap-ons) but it’s always something. This time, the winner is leading the loser away on a leash:

to the victor goes the spoils

 

Naked Blonde With Strategic Hair

Sunday, May 1st, 2005 -- by Bacchus

I’ve always enjoyed those old pulp covers showing nude ladies whose modesty is protected by strategically-placed strands of hair. This one comes from a wonderful pulp covers blog called The Planet of Sardines:

nude blonde with long hair pulp cover

Perhaps in some far future, there will be nanobot-laden hair products that can achieve this effect deliberately? Don’t tell me women (and a great many men, for that matter) wouldn’t pay handsomely for nanotech that keeps each and every hair on their heads exactly where it’s programmed to be.

Thanks to Bondage Blog for the link.

 

Not Quite Back to Full Stride

Thursday, April 28th, 2005 -- by Aphrodite

I’m still not fully functional on my new computer, but that’s not why I’m not posting here more regularly. Monday afternoon I got a call from R (remember R and me?) that’s knocked me sideways. So instead of visiting fun sites I’m hanging around Love is a Cunt. Even this gorgeous photo, sent to me by a wonderful friend, makes me think more of sadness and pain than beauty and wonder:

Nude Man in Nature

This compressed, smaller version doesn’t do justice to the unmanipulated image that was a Photo.Net Photograph of the Week.

I’ll be back when I have something more fitting to offer.

 

Tony Danza, Nude And Uncut

Thursday, April 14th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

I don’t usually post nude celebrity pictures on ErosBlog, because there are so many photoshops and fakes, and because I don’t have a good eye for celebrities anyway. I don’t usually recognize even my favorite actors in a new show until I hear their voices. On top of that, I’ve got a readership that would argue at length whether the person in a random tourist snapshot is a man or a woman, based on no better evidence than the shape of a jawline. I can only imagine how many comments this post will accumulate from folks eager to share their opinion on the is-it-or-isn’t-it question. (Hint: Zero would be just fine. Nobody is conducting an opinion poll here.)

Anyway, The Nymph says it looks like Tony to her. And that’s good enough for me:

[This photo was removed in response to a request from Mr. Danza’s attorneys. The salient points in their letter are 1) that the photo is fake, and 2) that it “has caused and continues to cause him distress.” For which, my apologies.]

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A Grand Day Out

Saturday, March 12th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

So when the man said “I like to take my girl out for walks in the woods” I guess I didn’t really have the right mental picture:

nude woman crawls in woods

But seriously, I don’t know who the photographer is. I found this one on Usenet.

 

Back From Mardi Gras!

Friday, February 11th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

We’re back! Thanks ever so much, Aphrodite, for keeping things hot here while we were in New Orleans.

Long trip, and we’re utterly worn out from all the walking and standing at the parades. Had an absolutely excellent time. There is a photo or two to share (nothing very nude, I fear) and I have some nifty “Bacchus” swag thrown at the parade of my spiritual brothers in the Krewe of Bacchus. (I’m considering holding a “show us your tits” contest to give some of the swag away — or would that fall short of the already-low ErosBlog standard of taste?)

But first, I’m afraid, I have about four thousand emails to sort through. One of the sex spams made me wonder. Subject line: “Mature fillies are awaiting you!” My brain’s first reaction: Isn’t a “mature filly” a, er, mare? Say it with me, please: EEEEWWWW!

 

Please Stuff It Up My RSS, Again And Again!

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005 -- by Aphrodite

This is the best link advertising an RSS feed I’ve ever seen:

“Click here to have my big hard blog stuffed lovingly up your RSS”

Who can resist that? So get yourself over to Rentboy Diaries and assume the proper position already! :D

[And, Bacchus, the photo wasn’t found on a gay porn site, despite my terminology suggesting otherwise. Would you consider a nude shot of yourself (your smile can match his any day, you know) “gay porn?”]

 

Prettier Than Mel Gibson

Tuesday, February 1st, 2005 -- by Bacchus

If you thought Mel Gibson looked good all painted with woad and shouting “FREEDOM!”, you might approve of this picture just as much:

nude girl for freedom

Personally, I think she’s a lot cuter than Mel Gibson.

From Naked Protesters.

 

Nude, With Spider

Wednesday, January 26th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Say what you will, but this has got to tickle:

nude with spider

I’ve heard people say “Tarantulas make really good pets, you would be suprised.” Yes, I would — to put it mildly. May I persist in clinging to the hope that we are looking at a really good fake spider here?

Picture via alt. binaries. pictures. nude.

 

Salad Oil Porn Versus Salad Oil Art

Thursday, January 13th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

OK, since we are still in a compare-and-contrast mode from the last post, can anyone explain to me why it’s art when this woman “dances and acts” while 22 bottles of olive oil are poured over her naked body on a public stage, but it’s porn when these young ladies get into an inflatable swimming pool and pour a similar quantity of canola oil over each other?

 

Beautiful Nude Art Photography from Valery Bareta

Wednesday, January 12th, 2005 -- by Aphrodite

No time for storytelling today. But I do have good news: while looking back over what I’d said about R in November, I clicked through to Valery Bareta, to see if his site is back. It is, and it’s stunning.

He’s an “art photographer”, so if you’re looking for raw sexy stuff, best look elsewhere. Valery’s got an impressive variety of nudes in many galleries; if you like beautiful bodies, I’m sure you’ll find something to enjoy. To whet your appetite:

Sexy with Sunflower

I’ve always loved sunflowers. This photo is the feature for this week–a great antidote to the dreary weather in my part of the world.

And, found in the “classic” subgallery of the Art Nude gallery:

Blue-green nude

Many treasures await your discovery!

Edited after the embarrassing discovery, prompted by a visitor’s comment, that Valery is a man. My apologies, Mr. Bareta! This leads me to announce a New Year’s Resolution: to read the “about me” page on a site before talking about its creator. :blush:

 

Happy Sexy New Year

Saturday, January 1st, 2005 -- by Bacchus

It’s January 1, my head hurts just a smidge, but life is stunningly good. The Nymph and I spent last night drinking bad champagne and marvelling at how great a year 2004 was for us, and marvelling again at just how bright 2005 is looking. Today we’re going to nap and eat — there’s a big turkey in the house, and somebody else is cooking it. So not much blog for you today!

Still, I couldn’t leave you entirely in the lurch. Will some naked girl/girl wrestling see you through the weekend? Here’s hoping!

nude girl/girl wrestling

Thanks to Ultimate Surrender for the picture.

 

Merry Christmas From Jordan Capri

Saturday, December 25th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

This was the second-nicest Christmas card I got this year, from Jordan Capri:

jordan capri nude xmas greeting

You can see the full sized version here.

(The first-nicest card, of course, was from The Nymph.)

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Christmas Has Been Cancelled For Lack Of Interest

Sunday, December 19th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

There’s a rumor floating around via email, to the effect that Christmas has been cancelled for lack of interest. What’s more, this time there’s photographic proof:

Santa Clause kicking  back for some nude sunbathing

 

Sexy Saturday Sports Special

Saturday, December 11th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

I’ve never been much of a sports fan, but if this Ultimate Surrender nude wrestling business catches on, I’d be willing to reconsider:

ultimate surrender

 

But It’s True!

Wednesday, November 10th, 2004 -- by Aphrodite

One of my previous lovers seemed to be uncomfortable with me caressing his body…as long as I was working on the usual hot spots, he was happy. But if I caressed his sexy-curvy torso, or his muscular biker legs, he got skittish. It was okay for him to appreciate my female form, but not for me to appreciate his male form. I’ve since known a few other guys like that, and it’s sad, sad, sad.

Male bods can be curvy-beautiful too. I present as Exhibit A:

Curvy Male Backside

I know I’d like to “touch him, all over his body”…

Courtesy of Eros Gallery. Beautiful male nude art.

 

Can’t Spell Nude Teen

Sunday, August 29th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

This next link is, I suppose, worthy on its own merits, especially if you like to see semi-naked young ladies slathering each other in salad oil. Thusly:

nude teens

A half-bottle of vinegar and we’d have, what, undressed salad?

But seriously, folks, I was more entertained by the domain name. Nudeteem.com: what’s that supposed to be? Nude team? Nude teen, more likely.

It reminds me of Tom Lehrer’s immortal advice: “Don’t write naughty words on walls if you can’t spell.”

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Another Naked Sushi Platter

Saturday, August 21st, 2004 -- by Bacchus

In case you are hungry, here’s a fetching photograph of the nude-woman-as-sushi-plate practice previously discussed here and here:

nude woman sushi platter

Picture via Usenet.

 

Skinny Dip With Extreme Caution

Sunday, August 1st, 2004 -- by Bacchus

So I was reading National Geographic when I found this unlikely statement:

Some states, like Montana, are bringing down the hammer on their clothing-optional residents. A first offense for skinny-dipping means six months in jail; a second offense garners one year; a third offense, a hundred years. “It causes you to sit up and say, My gosh, who thinks these kinds of prison sentences make sense?” Morton said.

A hundred freakin’ years? For skinny dipping? I’ve been to Montana, they can be conservative but they aren’t stupid. I’ve shaken the hands of several people I suspect of having skinny-dipped in Montana, and hugged at least one more. I had to check this out.

Turns out Montana law isn’t quite that crazy. Under Section 45-5-504 of the Montana Code, that draconian 100 year penalty is for a third conviction for “indecent exposure”:

(1) A person commits the offense of indecent exposure if the person knowingly or purposely exposes the person’s genitals under circumstances in which the person knows the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm in order to:
   (a) abuse, humiliate, harass, or degrade another; or
   (b) arouse or gratify the person’s own sexual response or desire or the sexual response or desire of any person.

I’m thinking it would be tough to convict the average skinny dipper under that statute. “Hey, it was dark! How was I supposed to know that Granny Grundy was watching the river through night vision goggles?”

 

Nudie Pics For Canadian Bureaucrats

Wednesday, July 28th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

The government porn trend continues. Now, according to the Toronto Sun, Canada is getting into the act, demanding the submission of naked pictures as part of immigration applications. It’s not quite as crazy as that summary makes it sound, but still:

Foreign strippers must supply nude photos to officials

TORONTO – Immigration officers are having to pore through naked pictures of hundreds of exotic dancers to keep imposters out of Canada, the Toronto Sun reported Tuesday.

Foreign strippers planning to table dance in clubs must now provide photos of themselves with no clothes on to qualify for a visa for Canada, said immigration officials.

“Stage photos during performances are required,” said Sergio Mercado, of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico.

The potential dancers have to prove they can dance in the nude, immigration lawyer Mendel Green said Monday.

“They can’t be partially nude,” he said. “If they don’t have pictures in the nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada.”

My question is, does Canada have a public information law similar to the Freedom Of Information Act? And if so, are these immigration applications public documents available to the public? Just think, free dirty pictures from the government, for the cost of a stamp!

Thanks to Boing Boing for the link.

 

I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fish Eggs

Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Looks like the PETA slogan needs updating. Seriously:

nude woman covered in caviar

 

An Uncut Penis

Friday, June 25th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Although uncut penises are just about as rare as real breasts in American porn, you have clamored and I have found one — by going overseas, of course. Coincidentally, several of you have reminded me of the National Penis Day recently celebrated in New Zealand. Naked Protesters has the pictures:

alex behan's penis

That’s a fellow named Alex Behan.

 

Eager To Get Married

Thursday, June 3rd, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a young lady so eager to catch the bouquet, she jumped right up out of her dress for it. If it’s a husband she was after, I’m guessing this was a pretty good advertising strategy:

jumping for a husband

Of course, there’s always a risk this pic is a Photoshop job. You pays your money (no, wait, you didn’t) and you takes your chances.

 

Fake Celebrity Nude Photos

Thursday, May 6th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a link and photo for you. Allegedly, Chelsea Clinton Topless:

not chelsea clinton nude

Although I must say, it doesn’t look too much like Chelsea to me.

Update: Because, of course, it isn’t. Instead, courtesy Jonno at Fleshbot, we know it’s Abby Winters.

Update To the Update: Courtesy of Abby Winters’s comment, we now know it’s a model of Abby’s named Samantha.

2013 Update to the Update to the Update: It turns out that comment was not actually made by Abby Winters, a person who may or may not even exist.

 

Time For Some Beauty

Sunday, May 2nd, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Ok, enough grotesqueries for one weekend. Time for some beauty:

nude beauty

Oh, yeah, and don’t forget: SLUG-BUG!

 

Nude Women, Gold Paint

Sunday, April 25th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

I’m sure there is an entirely proper religious explanation for this sort of thing:

nude women in gold paint

But I’m not sure I want to know what it is. Some things are more fun when you can just shake your head and ogle.

Thanks to Naked Protesters for the picture.

 

Pretty Nude With Roses

Wednesday, April 21st, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Hey, isn’t it getting along toward springtime? With, like, flowers and stuff?

vintage nude with roses

Yeah, I thought so.

 

Sexy Leprechaun Girl

Wednesday, March 17th, 2004 -- by Bacchus

Courtesy again of Raul Fernandez, we have a sexy leprechaun to wish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day:

nude leprechaun girl

First leprechaun I ever heard of who’s got two pots of gold!

 

Springtime Frolic

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003 -- by Bacchus

OK, in case any of you failed to notice, this is the second day in a row that’s longer than the one before it. The winter solstice is behind us, the sun has been freed from its cave, and we now have this to look forward to:

nude frolicking in spring foilage

 

Nude Protester Wearing a Veil

Sunday, December 14th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a pretty image from a Brazilian protest against police brutality:

pretty nude woman at a protest in Brazil

Something about the head scarf and veil makes this image more interesting than pure nudity would be.

Thanks to Naked Protesters for the picture.

 

Paris Hilton Is A Good Sport

Friday, December 12th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

I’ve stayed away from the Paris Hilton sex tape story simply because (a) the tape’s not very good, from a purely technical perspective and (b) I’m uncomfortable with making a public spectacle of people’s private fun. However, I’m delighted to discover that Ms. Hilton appeared on Saturday Night Live and turned out to be an even better sport than the Dixie Chicks:

FALLON: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?
PARIS: Actually, it’s a very exclusive hotel, no matter what you’ve heard.
FALLON: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.
PARIS: I’m glad you’ve heard that.
FALLON: Do they allow double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?
PARIS: No.
FALLON: Is the Paris Hilton roomy?
PARIS: It might be for you, but most people find it very comfortable.
FALLON: I’m a VIP. I may need to go in the back entrance.
PARIS: It doesn’t matter who you are. It’s not gonna happen.

 

Missing Cowgirl: Found

Monday, December 8th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

It seems she got a bodypaint job and went back down onto the farm for some bucolic grazing action:

naked cowgirl nude in body paint

 

A Treasure Trove Hareem

Sunday, November 30th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Thanks to the ever-watchful Daze, we are blessed with the link to this pasha’s ransom of belly dancers, slavegirls, and harem beauties: Bellydancers and Harem Girls — A Historical/Cheesecake Gallery. An astounding collection of lovelies like this:

gorgeous nude bellydancer

Opa!

 

‘Tis The Gift To Be Simple…”

Thursday, November 27th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Pretty nudes for a simple life


‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d
To bow and to bend we shan’t be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be out delight
‘Till by turning, turning we come round right.

 

Elves In Bondage

Tuesday, November 25th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Slash fiction isn’t usually much on the menu around here. But in keeping with the theme from Sunday, I can’t resist posting this little gem involving the practical jokes of elves. Herewith: What to Do with a Tied Up Marchwarden by Khylaren and Larien Elengasse:

The proud marchwarden of Lothl?rien was nude and trussed neatly like a wild turkey, left for the seneschal of Rivendell to find.

“Well,” he drawled softly, crouching down next to Haldir. “Someone left me a wee gift.” He grinned inwardly as he saw the Marchwarden stiffen at the insult. There was nothing small about the L?rien Elf, and Glorfindel knew it. Broad shouldered and slim hipped; the other warrior was easily as tall as the Vanya.

Haldir’s eyes narrowed above the gag that prevented him from speaking, but his expression was plainly read; this was not his idea.

His perfect lips pursed slightly as he considered his options. Ravishment? No, he did not think that would do at all, for Haldir did not seem to be the type to be ravished. Seduction? Ah, yes, that was the answer. It was the key to unlocking the chains of composure that bound Haldir so tightly. The question was, how to seduce such a creature, and make him give into the need he so obviously suffered from? And to make him delight in giving in to it.

Haldir turned his head to the side, studying the shadowed profile of the Elf lying next to him, wondering if Glorfindel had fallen into reverie. He was embarrassed, humiliated, and angry at the seneschal’s treatment of him; swatting his behind like a naughty Elfling! And then leaving him this way, trussed up with nowhere to go, and nothing to do but feel the delicious ache of desire that had build steadily within him. He closed his eyes in frustration, and felt the mattress dip slightly as Glorfindel rolled to face him.

Similar Sex Blogging:

 

Animalistic Nudes

Monday, November 24th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

If you’re bored and have mad photoshop skillz and you just don’t find your normal woman animalistic enough, you can always morph her into a critter. I hear you asking “why?” but I can’t possibly help you there.

Me, I wonder how many of the gallery examples have the faces of the artists’ ex-girlfriends.

 

Naked Sushi Preparation

Thursday, November 13th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Daze linked to a now-removed Seattle Times story about the new naked sushi restaurant in Seattle that has all the anti-pleasure crew working their knickers into a frothy twist.

But I’ve got a scoop nobody else has got. The Seattle Times has a picture of the nude sushi serving lady all laid out in her plastic wrap and covered with delicious tidbits. But it’s not so pretty back in the food prep area, boys and girls. I know, I know, sushi gets made where the customers can watch. But the big seafood chunks have to get made into little seafood chunks somewhere, right? They don’t hack open sixty pounds of cephalopod in front of the customers. And here’s what it looks like in that back room:

nude girl with octopus

 

Butterfly Twins

Monday, November 10th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Isn’t this a pretty pair?

nude mother-daughter pair painted like a butterfly

And look closely at the features of the women. Mother and daughter?

 

Nice Body Paint

Friday, November 7th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

I don’tknow what event this lovely body paint is in honor of, but isn’t it pretty?

pretty painted nude

Of course, looking at that photograph you pretty much have to wonder what kind of paint job the girl on the right has under her toga.

 

More Naked Twister

Tuesday, November 4th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

The site where I found this picture of nude young lovelies playing twister has already gone to the great happy bandwidth hunting ground in the sky. However, by a strange twist of internet serendipity, I’ve discovered the cheerleader porn gallery the pictures came from. And by gosh if it doesn’t turn out that naked twister is hard work! Here the poor girls are shown all tuckered out and resting:

naked twister girls resting after a hard game

Resting up, as it happens, before getting into the hot tub.

Thanks to LightSpeed Sorority for the photos and galleries.

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Innocent Pleasures: Nude Twister

Thursday, October 30th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Anybody up for a game of naked twister?

nude twister

Update: The link went dead, but I found a better one.

 

Read My Lips

Sunday, October 26th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

A pretty picture:

nude anti-drug-war activist

Thanks to Naked Protesters for the picture.

 

The Grey Lady This Isn’t

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003 -- by Bacchus

I’m sorry about the unrelieved text the last few days. We’re sorely in need of a dirty picture to lighten things up. How about a random anime girl in chains?

nude bondage anime girl

Aaah. That’s just the thing.

 

The Terror And The Beauty

Thursday, October 16th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

This postcard amuses me. Yes, these spectral beauties could be a little terrifying, but they’ve got friendly and playful looks on their faces. So why is our hapless hero looking so frightened?

man tied to tree and surrounded by beautiful nude blonde ghosts

 

Water Bondage: “Splish, Splash I Was Taking a Bath….”

Saturday, August 16th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Much as I hate to link to pure porn sites, every now and then I find one that strikes my jaded eyes as being new and different. Here’s a bondage site with a twist: At Water Bondage, the moistly restrained models are ducked, dunked, squirted, splashed, hosed down, and generally subjected to large volumes of water in addition to their strict bondage. Lots of steel cages, shackles, and what look disturbingly like electrical play toys can be seen in the promo thumbnails:


turning the water hose on the bondage girl in her cage

nude girl shackled to stone wall and showered with cold water

This sure looks like your one-stop for all you firehose interrogation fetishists, dunking fans, and aficionados of really damp dungeons. And the marvel of it is, outside of a few bathtub bondage pics, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it!

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Chocolate And Strawberries

Friday, August 15th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Do you like strawberries and chocolate? Then you will lap this right up:

naked woman covered in chocolate syrup and holding a strawberry

What a deliciously messy girl. Is it time for dessert yet?

 

Schwarzenekkid

Tuesday, August 12th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Radosh has the infamous nude photo of the next governor of California. Alas he’s not really my cuppa tea:

the naked governor

 

Playing With Your Food

Sunday, August 10th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a unique Japanese toy: a pudding mold and special serving dish. Make a nude pudding girl, display her in her bondage packing crate cum serving dish, and then eat her with the attached hand-shaped plastic spoon.

pudding girl

 

Nymphs of the Forest

Friday, August 8th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

One of the best things that comes with the job of being Bacchus is the close association with a fine assortment of woodland nymphs. What’s not to like about lovely women whose favorite pastime is frolicking nude in the forest, and who are (by virtue of their assigned role in the extremely traditional mythos) properly observant of the prerogatives of the god of wine and wild partying?

three nude nymphs

Ok, daydream over, everybody get back on your heads.

2012 Update: I now have tools for sourcing images that weren’t available back in 2003. It turns out this one comes from Met Art, so I’ve linked the old 320-pixel thumb to a larger view. And here are some more of these nymphs:

frolicking nymphs

 

Yes, Someone Did Mention Leashes

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003 -- by Bacchus

In for a penny, in for a pound. I’m going to chalk this up to the strange Japanese fetish for puppy dog girls, and move on:

Japanese puppy girl on a leash

Do you think she might want an, er, treat?

 

Hunting For Bambi

Monday, July 14th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Wow. It’s amazing what horny monkeys can get up to.

Here’s a new commercial sport for you: Hunting for Bambi. For a large sum of money, you can go out into the Nevada desert and hunt naked women with paint ball guns. (You get the guns; they get a pair of sneakers and a powerful financial incentive to try to avoid getting shot. They do not get protective gear.)

hunting for bambi promo images

As expected, the chattering classes are not happy about this. Here’s some typical news coverage, complete with dire warnings from mental health professionals that this sort of silliness could turn someone into a serial killer. Yeah, right.

The players, meanwhile, appear to be having good old fashioned dirty American fun. Heck, the ladies who get paid to be naked prey even come back and do it again:

“I’ve done this three times,” says Nicole, one of the three women allowing themselves to be shot at. Two other women, Gidget and Skyler, claim they have done this seven times.

The woman begin stripping down to their tennis shoes and start running to dodge the paint balls that go buzzing by.

“We got a hit,” said George Evanthes, who just shot and hit one of the women in the behind. “It was sexy. Let’s put it that way,” said Evanthes.

Gidget is the one who took the paint ball shot to the rear. She says, “It hurt. It really hurt. I didn’t think it was going to be that bad.” When asked if she cried she says,”yeah, a little bit.”

So why do women agree to strip down and run around the desert dodging paint balls? Nicole says it’s good money. “I mean it’s $2,500 if you don’t get hit. You try desperately not to and it’s $1000 if you do,” said Nicole.

If you follow the link to the news story, they have video footage of the game, complete with very realistic squeals of pain when the paintballs hit tender areas. Of course all the nude scenes are pixellated, but one girl does reveal a buttock to show off her vivid bruise.

Update: There is increasing evidence that the events described were staged to sell videos, and that no paying hunts ever actually took place. I’m not sure that makes this a hoax for ErosBlog purposes, given that the naked women filmed running around in the desert were actually running around in the desert, but it does put the story in a different light.

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Cads With Cameras

Sunday, July 13th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

There is a certain type of loutish cad who delights in degrading women by playing a specific game with his buddies. They will rate various women they see as “no-baggers,” “one-baggers,” “two-baggers” and so forth. The idea is a rating system based on “How many brown bags you’d have to put over her head before you could stand to sleep with her.” Crass to be sure, and the guys who play this game a lot seem to enjoy putting ladies down more than anything else.

Anyway, it now appears that at least one such cad has both a camera and bad judgment. Because these ladies (judging by the bits we can see) are lovely:

three lovely nudes on a sheepskin with brown bags over their faces

I suppose there’s a simpler explanation for this shot. Perhaps these ladies lost a bet, or chose poorly in a game of truth-or-dare?

 

Have That One Bathed And Sent To My Tent

Friday, July 11th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

From this Ebay auction you can get, if you are rich and lucky, your very own belly dancer exceedingly fine, fixed in two dimensions for your perpetual enjoyment:

nude belly dancer

Go thou, and bid heavily. I don’t get a cut, I just know you will want to bid.

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Whoops! Back Up That Hay Wagon, Isiah!

Wednesday, July 9th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Whilst surfing blogrolls I found the promisingly-named blog “Pussy Ranch” engaged in the ever-popular sport of berating the wierdos who generate some of the more, um, unusual search word combos in the log files. Pussy Rancher Jon had this to say:

To our friends searching “Amish Pussy” — good fucking luck. There are NO sites out there which feature nude photos of Amish girls. Quite what’s so fascinating about some woman named Jubal-Cain splaying naked in her log cabin I don’t know, but hey — neat that it gets you off. Try branching out — maybe Baptist girls? Hell, the Mennonites are even more likely to spread ’em on the internet than the Amish, they don’t have the anti-technology thing.

Er, Jon, I hate to burst your Minneapolitan bubble, but as the lieutenant said to the emperor, that turns out not to be the case. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” To wit: not just Amish pussy, but Amish bondage porn, complete with a menacingly brandished corn-cob.

Please, no quibbling about whether these models are “really” Amish. I doubt the original searcher was unduly concerned about the spiritual purity of the Amish pussy he was seeking….

 

Happy Fourth of July!

Friday, July 4th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

I’ve been saving this image since forever to post today, and then I almost forgot. What a catastrophe that would have been:

nude with fireworks

Looks like an explosively good time!

 

The Argument For High Beams

Monday, June 16th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Or how to have fun on the back roads with that spotlight your Uncle Dave picked up for spotlighting deer:

nude on the highway at night

“Beep beep!”

 

Nubile Soapy Goodness

Wednesday, May 28th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Courtesy of Porn-Stash we have [had] a gallery purporting to be the Brazilian Women’s Soccer Team. Dunno if that’s true or not, but there is one hell of a lot of deliciously callipygian beauty on display. And the shower scenes (one of which is pictured here) have enough nubile soapy goodness to power a small country, not to mention make a grown-but-dateless man weep.

brazilian women's soccer team nude and soapy in the shower

Exit weeping….

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The Erotics of Citrus

Thursday, May 8th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

What is it with oranges and sex? First this, then this, and now an alert reader has found the following picture, adorning a Japanese sex toy shop:

dripping orange, with nude

Apparently ErosBlog is now the world clearing house for erotic citrus.

 

Dixie Chicks: Nude, Proud, Defiant

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003 -- by Bacchus

The Dixie Chicks, who took a lot of heat lately for speaking their minds, have apparently decided not to stop. This surely is a case where a (nekkid) picture is worth a hundred thousand words. From Yahoo:

dixie chicks nude

As a PR move, it’s fucking brilliant. Anyone who just sees the magazine will know where they stand, without reading a word, except perhaps for the words written on their fair skins. It doesn’t matter what you think of their politics or their music; the genius on display here (along with all that yummy flesh) is pure public relations.

Brilliant. Beautiful. Proud. Naked. Bacchus is in love awe.

 

A Little EverQuest Porn

Saturday, April 19th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

EverQuest Porn? You betcha!

Setting the scene:

The morning in Kelethin was crisp as always. High in the treetops the temperature was much cooler than down on the forest floor. Sunshine speared it’s way into the lofty wooden structures in narrow rays and sharp angles. Bird chirps and wolf cries filled the air in a gentle cacophony.

And occasionally, a mysterious song could be heard.

It took skill to hear it; you could only listen for it among the other sounds of nature if you knew precisely what you were listening for. Visitors to the vast Faydark never gave a second thought to the melodic wailing which seemed to whisper through the trees on occasion, the quiet cry never lasting much more than a minute or two, and always blending as though it were nothing more than the call of an owl, or the howl of a wolf.

But the Elves knew the sound and when one of them listened carefully, paid very close attention, they would hear the infrequent melody. A quiet, high-pitched tune, different every time, like a long feminine sigh that varied it’s pitch just enough to distinguish itself as musical. Then they would smile knowingly and go about their business.

And then getting down to business:

“Take me ” she whispered. “I will warm you both ”

With only a few languid strokes, she felt them grow hard at her touch. She briefly wondered why Barbarians never seemed to freeze in the arctic when they nothing beneath their kilts, but the thoughts were wiped from her mind as she suddenly felt their hands upon her. Big, strong hands, grasping her bare shoulders, their huge palms and fingers nearly covering her entire upper arms. She felt herself laid on her side.

“AH!” she cried out. He was so huge, his cock filling her delicate elven body completely. He was as hard as wood, and glided easily within her moistness. Tremors of pleasure rippled through her body.

At the same time, she finally felt the warm, nude body of the second Barbarian pressed up behind her. Joe’s body nestled against her own, his warm chest finally covering her back, chasing away the chilling air. His thighs rested just beneath hers, warming her even more. His arm draped over her hip, holding her steady while Gregor rhythmically slid in and out of her, his thick cock stretching her nether lips tight around it. “Yes Yes ” she grunted with each of his thrusts. Behind her, she felt Joe’s finger slide further back along her bottom, gently spreading her wetness along her tender flesh, pressing gently between her buttocks, into her tender hole.

“OH . OH TUNARE!!!” she cried out as she felt Joe slide his finger gently inside her forbidden region. She felt so very filled by the both of them, and they moved in time now, in and out, in and out. Gregor’s cock from in front, Joe’s finger from behind. It felt so perfect, her body was awash with sensations, the nipping cold still stinging her skin wherever and whenever it was uncovered, the fiery warmth of the two strong Barbarians around her, the wonderful sensations coming from her filled wetness and her behind. Her body shifted with each stroke, moving in time with each of their thrusts, over and over, the pleasure inside her building, and building…

 

Nude versus Naked

Monday, April 14th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

An interesting line from an old Larry Niven story makes this point about the difference between nudity and nakedness:

“Nude is artistic. Naked is defenseless.”

Interesting that the story, which can be read as a polemic against anarchy, is carefully and disingenuously set in an artificial environment in which everyone has been rendered defenseless….

 

Veil Dancer

Friday, April 11th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

harem dancer mostly nude doing a veil dance

“Hmm, yesss. Have that one bathed and sent to my tent.”

 

He Sent His Wife To Get Firewood…

Sunday, March 9th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

…and wound up getting some wood himself.

nude woman on snowmobile in the snow

 

Yahooligans are wimps

Tuesday, March 4th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Sharp-Eyed Shell spotted a Yahoo news story about the nude protest pictured so attractively below. However, when Shell spotted it the picture was the picture that illustrated the Yahoo story. Apparently they chickened out and decided the picture was just a little too provocative, because it’s nowhere to seen now.

six female cops carry naked woman

Fortunately, Shell saved it for everyone’s delectation, and ErosBlog passes the savings along to you.

 

Mush! Mush!

Friday, February 21st, 2003 -- by Bacchus

a hard day's nude dog sledding

This picture is in honor of the recently completed Yukon Quest sled dog race.

 

Sod ’em in Gomorrah

Sunday, February 16th, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Here’s a really odd article on Christian porn. The odd thing is that the author of the article seems to be really offended by the stuff. Debbi Does Sodom is an “appalling artifact of contemporary decadence”:

Take a peek at Debbi Does Sodom, a 35-minute VHS opus distributed by Saviour Video, complete with a rendering of the “Christian” fish on the logo.

Debbi, played by Tanya Yorke, is an American tourist in the city of Sodom who goes to a bistro, where she meets several men who invite her to a private party at their clubhouse. Debbi accepts and relocates to a seedy ballroom where techno music is throbbing relentlessly. She takes a tablet of Ecstasy and falls into a drugged trance, dancing seductively to the music, then having wild sex with four men at the same time as the copulating group undulates in rhythm with the music.

Suddenly this exceptionally erotic tableau is shattered by the appearance of a police assault team, which bursts through the doors with guns drawn. Debbi’s paramours are brutally beaten, and she is marched nude from the clubhouse into a waiting van. There she encounters two “Christian” evangelists who do their best to help Debbi regain the road to righteousness, by preaching to her and quoting Scripture as the van speeds away through the night. The film ends with Debbi, who has been saved and is now a born-again “Christian,” wearing a choir robe and plastered with lots of cosmetics, singing the glories of Jesus.

Unless Bacchus is misremembering his literary history, this is nothing more or less than a classic morality play, updated for modern viewers and recorded for broader distribution. It’s a video tract with a bit of flesh to draw and keep the eye. In poor taste, perhaps, as is much of the rest of the “body” of popular evangelical artistic and literary material throughout history. But “appalling artifact of contemporary decadence”? Someone is missing the point.

Update: Daniel Radosh kindly wrote in to point out that this article appears to be a fraud of some sort or a badly failed attempt at humor. He reports that Googling the mentioned personages is fruitless, which strongly suggests they do not exist. Thanks to Daniel for the info, and apologies all around for the gullibility that Bacchus substitutes for actual reportage.

 

By Popular Demand, More Pix

Monday, February 3rd, 2003 -- by Bacchus

Who said suburban living was bland and banal?

nude public bondage in the suburbs

 

Bring on the Geritol

Thursday, December 12th, 2002 -- by Bacchus

First of all, apologies are in order. This blog has been nearly imageless, and/or monochrome, for far too long. In the nature of restitution, please accept this nice girl working on her personal hygiene.

nude hottie showering and getting really really clean

Image “borrowed” from deep in the archives of the Sensual Liberation Army, which is herewith added to the sex blog roll. Thanks!

And now for the pathetic part. Folks, Bacchus is officially getting old. For, while gazing at this raven-haired and oh-so-damp callipygian beauty, what to his wandering mind should appear but the following unworthy thought:

“Nice shower tiles. I want a shower like that.”

Sigh.

P.S.: This photograph provides additional evidence that Anil was right.

 

Good Shit

Monday, December 2nd, 2002 -- by Bacchus

New addition to the sex blog list: Good Shit. It’s a graphics-heavy blog chock full of cheesecake, naked babes, and other sexy images like the one below.

three nudes enjoying the beach surf

 

If You’ve Got The Honey, I’ve Got The Time

Monday, November 11th, 2002 -- by Bacchus

From the all-encompassing Volokh Conspiracy comes word of a positively Bacchanalian festival: Splosh!

nude messy chocolate nymph

Splosh — is the most infamous night of squishy, sexy, safe and sticky fun with a menu of edible and slimy, tasty and grimy dishes and people.

On the messy fun menu:

Pudding, cake batter, corn syrup, liquefied bananas, oils galore, paints, gak, splosh paint, syrups, fruit loops, oats, flour, paste, fruits and veggies of all kinds and a rainbow of food coloring.

Alas, Bacchus is too many kilomiles away from San Francisco to make this party, even if he started walking now. And a good thing too, since each participant must bring a date. If Bacchus were to be attending, he would need to start taking applications for the Legion of Messy Nymphs on an accelerated schedule.

 

Is This Sex Blog Thing On?

Thursday, October 3rd, 2002 -- by Bacchus

Can’t have a sex blog without some gratuitous public nudity:

pretty british women baring breasts for fox hunting

Thanks Instapundit for the link!

 
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