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The Sex Blog Of Record
Wednesday, August 28th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Bored with my actual paying work, I asked Gemini:
Gemini, please compose a love sonnet as if Han Solo saw Princess Leia Organa taking a shower.
For my trouble, I got scolded by Gemini’s pornocalypse filters:
Disclaimer: While I can create a fictional love sonnet based on the characters, it’s important to remember that voyeurism is a serious offense. This poem is purely fictional and should not be taken as a suggestion or endorsement of such behavior.
Well, that’s me told, eh?
Back to Gemini:
Sonnet: A Rogue’s Reverie
Her form, a goddess bathed in steam’s embrace,
A vision pure, yet wild as any storm.
Her hair, a cascade down her alabaster face,
Her eyes, like stars, a cosmic, starry form.
A rogue like me, unworthy of such sight,
A smuggler’s heart, a scoundrel’s soul,
Yet in this moment, filled with pure delight,
I’m lost to reason, captivated whole.
Her laughter, music sweeter than a song,
Her touch, a warmth that seeps into my core.
Though fate may twist, our paths forever long,
In this stolen glance, my love forevermore.
And now, a Rule 34 challenge for my readers: can you find any existing images of Princess Leia at her private toilette, from the POV of a voyeur? Yes, yes, he said impatiently, I understand that it’s child’s play to ask a generative art machine to create such an image. But today’s challenge is to find out whether there is already porn of it. I did a few quick searches without result, but I don’t have time to do a full search. So do please have fun with it! Responsive links are welcome in the comments, although they’ll hang in moderation until I see them.
Update: I shared Gemini’s effort via email with a learned human friend, who responded less than an hour later with this immensely-superior human-written sonnet. My friend’s only price for his effort’s anonymous republication here: he would like us all (but especially Gemini!) to be reminded that a true sonnet has 14 lines.
Breathe, breathe! I’ve made the Kessel run so fast
My warp-lagged brain has blurred parsecs and hours;
I’ve calmly dodged a star-destroyer’s blasts,
My heart should not be racing at a shower,
A common shower, its door not closed, not quite.
My hands, which can draw first when life’s at stake.
Should not be trembling now at such a sight,
I am no innocent to freeze and shake.
The path of every trickling droplet burns
Like comets curving over Paradise
And each path sweeter as she turns,
Dazzling eyes that ‘ve gazed on galaxies.
Princess! No fantasy compares to this,
A stolen moment of such stellar bliss!
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Friday, May 31st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
This salacious bit of “Peeping Tom” artwork comes to us from the cover of the 1966 pulp novel Lust Versus Sanity, by Jimmy Ringo:
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Saturday, June 24th, 2023 -- by Bacchus
Peeking through the fence really paid off today; the neighbor lady was spending some quality time poolside with her suction-cup cock-and-balls dildo.
Artwork is by Sincopation.
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Monday, June 12th, 2023 -- by Bacchus
The symbolic keyhole as a frame around an erotic art image, used to identify the viewer as a voyeur, is an ancient and oft-used artistic device. And there’s a reason: it totally works! Now, tell me why this woman has a koi fish in her bathtub?
Artwork is by the 20th-century French pinup artist Jacques le Tord.
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Monday, August 22nd, 2022 -- by Bacchus
I wonder how many of my younger readers may need some explanation of the cultural context behind this mid-20th-century comic postcard?
Back in the day when most women wore dresses and skirts in public, there was always the risk of a wayward wind catching and lifting her garments, giving a sharp-eyed man a quick glimpse of her in-most-cases-quite-unrevealing underclothes. The blast of air thrust by a moving train from a subway ventilation grate was especially notorious for doing this, but the unpredictable gusty winds along the boardwalk at a seaside resort were a common culprit too. A subway grate air blast provided the context of the famous 1954 movie scene where Marilyn Monroe’s skirts fly up.
Moreover, the “fun house” at a traveling carnival or circus was often rigged with surprise air jets to create this effect for the risque amusement of the attendees. It was a known gimmick, and townie women often played along, wearing sexy underwear and pretending to embarrassment, but in reality posing themselves quite deliberately to tease and amuse their dates. It was good clean fun, but a fellow hanging around too long to perv on the scene might become an object of derision himself, just as we sneer at somebody who lurks in public stairwells trying to get upskirt glimpses or photos.
The funhouse air jets were enough of a cultural icon that they’ve appeared on ErosBlog previously. In this circus cartoon, a horny elephant uses a blast of air from his trunk to flip up a skirt, while an appreciative ringmaster tells a clown that “Bombo got the idea at the Fun House.”
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Saturday, November 21st, 2020 -- by Bacchus
I don’t want to valorize nonconsensual voyeurs, but I think PyperHalie may have that covered by naming this artwork Creeper:
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Monday, September 2nd, 2019 -- by Bacchus
This actress looks as if she’d be a lot happier if the neighbors wouldn’t stick their heads into her bathroom window to supervise when she’s powdering her pits:
Image is a lobby card from an early 1980s Euro softporn movie Coup De Torchon.
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Saturday, February 9th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
Obviously she’s not aware that this neighborhood has a telephoto voyeur problem. She doesn’t even seem to know that the Peeping Tom across the alley has a camera lens so long, he could probably put a towel on the end of it and help dry off her tits after she’s done washing them. If she knew, she’d pull the shade, surely?
Art credit: the cover of Super Duro #10.
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Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019 -- by Bacchus
My only question: what kind of pervert architect designs a voyeur paradise shower room with a damned window? And then, doesn’t even equip said window with provisions for a feckin’ curtain?
Style points for putting the soap shelf down at knee height…
Art credit goes to the cover of Corna Vissute #15.
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Saturday, September 15th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
Precisely what kind of private show is the topless carny girl giving the snoopy dude (and the bemused silverback gorilla) behind the monkey cages?
Well, let’s just say it’s the sort of thing the current president of the United States is also reputed to enjoy watching.
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Wednesday, July 25th, 2018 -- by Bacchus
In this shunga dating to 1800 by Kitagawa Utamaro, a masturbating voyeur is peering through a fence at a squatting woman who has exposed herself, perhaps to pee:
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Friday, June 30th, 2017 -- by Bacchus
It is a truth universally acknowledged that any ambitious and aspiring amateur photographer hoping to catch a skinny-dipper before she can get back to her clothes must employ a well-trained ram to deal with the inevitable comic-book barrel with which his unwilling photographic subject would otherwise thwart the shot:
These gags were old even in 1934, I’m thinking. The artist is Bruce Patterson, and the cartoon is from 10 Story Book, which was a long-running risque magazine of the time. (Found via Spanking Blog.)
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Tuesday, September 27th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
When I saw a reference to the 1938 film How To Undress In Front Of Your Husband, I was hoping for some sort of vintage-porn-loop version of those “Learn To Strip For Your Husband” books that were such a thing in the 1970s. And I got it, more or less — but it came with a hot-mess bowlful of misogynistic “wives are whores” nonsense, body-shaming drivel, and slapstick peeping-tom consent-violations comedy. Sample narration: “You know, the average woman will use every bit of feminine trickery at her command to sell herself to the man she loves…until she lands him. And after that, she just sends him monthly invoices.”
Honestly, my favorite part of the film is the campy scroll at the beginning, which uses preposterous claims about marriage to frame and justify the subsequent G-rated clips of Elaine Barrie Barrymore undressing in her boudoir, supposedly all unknowing that she’s being filmed by a Peeping Tom:
So, yeah, here’s the movie, warts and all. I find this sort of thing fascinating (artifacts of culture and all that) even when all the toxic messages are so loud they threaten to drown out the sexy bits:
Friday, December 18th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
These panels showing a no-longer-secret (can you spot the voyeur?) anal sex encounter are from issue 118 of a sex comic called Sabor A Mi.
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Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Here’s a fascinating article on an eccentric Czech creeper and voyeur who took beautiful candid photos with deliberately-bad home-made cameras:
Charming eccentric or tolerated local boogyman? The townspeople of Kyjov in Czech Republic could never quite decide. Miroslav Tichý took nearly a hundred photographs a day with his homemade camera, wandering around the streets of his hometown, often spotted at bus stops, the main square, the park and the swimming pool, although he was frequently arrested for lingering around the local pool taking pictures of unsuspecting women.
The arrests prompted him to start fashioning makeshift telephoto lenses:
When he was banned from the local pool, he made telephoto lenses with cardboard tubes to snap his clandestine photographs from a distance, which is why a wire fence can sometimes be seen in his pictures… He ground lenses out of plastic with toothpaste and ash, putting them together with cardboard toilet paper tubes, dressmaker’s elastic and old camera parts he found.
I will confess, I am at something of a loss in knowing what to think about these photos. They are unquestionably gorgeous works of art. And yet the process of their production has a substantial creep factor. Should that matter? Is it possible to simultaneously condemn the artistic method and celebrate the resulting art?
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Sunday, June 16th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Via Bawdy Blog:
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