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Rule 34: It Binds Us Together

Saturday, June 4th, 2016 -- by Bacchus

Dr. Marty Klein has been thinking hard about Rule 34 and what it tells us about human sexuality:

Rule 34: If it exists, or you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

Rule 34 summarizes everything about sexuality.

It says that human sexual fantasy is limitless. It says that anything can be eroticized, can be arousing, can be life-affirming. It reminds us that any ideas we have about what’s normal sex are about us, not about sex. I’m always telling patients “don’t blame sex for your ideas about sex.”

Rule 34 reminds us exactly what pornography is: a library of human eroticism. Pornography is a celebration of how humans can stretch their erotic imagination–sometimes in ways that disturb you or me. Nevertheless, pornography celebrates the erotic imagination BEYOND specific content. Like the ability to imagine the future, and the knowledge that we’re going to die, the enormous range of pornography is uniquely human.

Rule 34 also reminds us that people don’t necessarily want to do what they fantasize about. Sex with Kramer, George, & Jerry at the same time? Sex with a dolphin? Sex with someone about to be guillotined for stealing a loaf of bread? Sex with your grandmother at high noon on Times Square? A threesome with Batman & Robin?

Rule 34 also reminds us of the coin’s other side–that none of us can imagine the entire range of human eroticism. That should keep us humble. It’s somewhat like a gourmet travelling to a far-off, isolated country and discovering they eat something there he never considered food–say, fried worms. The issue isn’t so much does the gourmet want to eat fried worms; rather, it’s the idea that there’s “food” that he never considered food. And if that’s true about fried worms, about how many other “foods” might that also be true?

Rule 34 shows us all knit together in an erotic brotherhood (or sisterhood, if you will). If the human project of eroticism is bigger than both you and me, your turn-on and my turn-on that appear so different from each other are really small parts of a much bigger whole. And there are others who are into your turn-on (which I find so exotic), and there are others–perhaps many others–who think my turn-on is so very exotic.

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Milk Some Hershey’s Tits (Wait, What?)

Monday, May 2nd, 2016 -- by Bacchus

Apparently they do things differently in Hong Kong:

Rule 34: It is real. And I can prove it!

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Update On $5 Porn Research Gigs

Thursday, November 14th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

Hey, everybody. It’s been a while since anybody ordered any of my $5 porn research gigs on Fiverr, which I realize is probably because the posts where I announced them have scrolled away into the deep archives. But I found doing them a lot of fun. My customers, too, seemed to enjoy the results, and why not? Where else in this world can you get your own $5.00 porn concierge doing deep web searches on your erotic behalf?

So I’ve thrown up some more visible links in the left sidebar. Just to refresh your memory, I’ve got two deals going. In the porn attribution research gig, I make best efforts to identify the source of any erotic image you nominate. (There is no guarantee of success but my success rate at finding at least some provenance is quite high.) In the Rule 34 research gig, the game is that I prove that there “is porn of it” (“it” being whatever you like) and if I can’t find an example, I create one — typically in the form of a dirty limerick. (I haven’t had to write a limerick yet.)

It’s cheap and it’s fun. What’s not to like?

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Rule 34 Porn Search Service

Wednesday, June 12th, 2013 -- by Bacchus

[Update: I no longer use Fiverr due to their bad habit of suspending gigs that aren’t frequently active, and because I’ve gotten more expensive, but I remain available for such research on terms I’d be happy to negotiate by email!]

A while back I got the wild notion to offer a porn research and attribution service. So far I’ve had a double handful of satisfied customers for that “gig” (as these little jobs are called on Fiverr, the micro-services site where I am making it available) and so I’ve decided to add a new offering.

I Will Prove Rule 34 For You With Example URLS For $5

rule 34 porn search

You all know about Rule 34: “If it exists, there is porn of it.” It’s not always literally true, but it’s true more often than you’d think! And I’m just the man to prove it.

Five bucks gets you a small number of URLS (up to five) pointing at porn of whatever you specify. You can try to skunk me, but you’ll fail; and here’s why. This gig is guaranteed! Adele Haze pointed out to me the other day that there’s a moral-imperative corollary to Rule 34: “If you’ve identified an exception, you must redress the lack.” So, if you buy this gig and I can’t find any porn of whatever you specify, I will write you a dirty limerick about it and either send it to you or post it here on ErosBlog and send you the URL (depending on how proud of it I am). But either way, there will be “porn of it” before I’m done!

I should be honest, though. The $5 offering only gets you a few URLs or my dirty limerick. It’s a fun challenge and a way for you to astonish your friends by finding a small number of samples to prove the rule. But if you’ve actually got some incredibly-obscure fetish or fetish interest and genuinely want all of my best efforts to help you ferret out the best internet sources of porn that might satisfy it, I’m offering an “extra” on this gig where, if you check the box and pay another twenty bucks, I’ll write you a comprehensive Rule 34 search report. For this report, I’ll keep searching until I’m morally certain I’ve found everything that my highly-tuned porn search skills can turn up about your porn subject of interest, and then I’ll write you a comprehensive report with all the best URLs I could find, and a sentence or two about each one explaining what’s there. We’re not talking a long document; a couple of pages max, maybe, if you printed it out. But the report will cover all the best sources in whatever media (fanfic, art, movies, manga, YouTube videos, image boards, story sites, comics, torrents, whatever!) that I could find, with any suggestions I might have for further searching. In short, you’ll get my concentrated effort to help you find all the best porn on your subject of interest.

I don’t know whether anybody will take me up on this “comprehensive” extra. I do know from my experience with the porn research gig that if you do, you’ll get a lot of effort for your money. Once I get my teeth into a porn hunt it becomes a challenge that’s hard for me to let go of. And I’m pretty good at this porn searching stuff, if I do say so myself. Of course your outcomes will depend on what’s out there to be found; I can’t (except for the guarantee-limerick of course) make porn appear on the internet that doesn’t already exist. For this reason I do advise against ordering the “comprehensive” report unless you’re already fairly sure that at least some stuff exists out there to be found.

Here’s that link again:

I Will Prove Rule 34 For You With Example URLS For $5

2016 update: Because of some deficiencies with Fiverr I am no longer using their platform to do this work. But if you want to email me (baccchus@erosblog.com) we can make a private arrangement. However, these days I’m more likely to charge $10 than $5, just so you know.

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