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The Sex Blog Of Record
Friday, June 10th, 2022 -- by Bacchus
It’s a simple dildo, perhaps with a bit more texture than most, but Nicole is a woman of discernment, and she likes the feel of the rings and ridges:
Photos are from a set that was widely marketed as “amateur” many years ago. Too many websites have splashed a watermark on these pics over the years for us to have much of a prayer of figuring out where they first appeared.
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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Just a handsome young man sitting on the edge of his bed, completely lost in his anal sex fantasy and the intense sensations of his jelly cock-stroker toy:
The uncropped art (by Foudreika) at Kinky Delight additionally shows a closeup of the cock/toy sensation-interface.
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Friday, May 20th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
When you buy your sex toys from the flea market down by the spaceport, there’s no telling exactly what you’ll get:
From Manga Erotique No. 1 — Extreme Orient.
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Thursday, April 16th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
According to this story, the Regional Office for the Protection of Monuments in Gdansk, Poland is in possession of a finely-made leather-and-wood sex toy that was discovered while digging out a latrine that dates from the second half of the 1700s.
The dildo is large, thick, made of leather filled with bristles, and has a wooden tip. An archaeologist said
“It was certainly expensive. Cleaning revealed it was made of high quality leather.”
Speculation is that the toy came to be in the latrine after being dropped by the person who was using it.
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Saturday, September 14th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
This is for sale on the shelves of my local Walmart.
It is not a sex toy, despite the name. It is bait, for woodland critters.
You can tell, because it says “buck bomb” (not “fuck bomb”) on the package:
For the record: no. No, I do not think the design and packaging were chosen innocently.
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013 -- by Bacchus
Have you ever wondered about the legally-ridiculous disclaimers that you see on the packaging of most sex toys? You know the ones: “sold as an adult novelty”, “not a medical device”, “for external use only”, and so on. Why are they there? What good are they?
Well, Dangerous Lilly has expended an astonishing amount of investigative effort in putting together a pair of blog posts in which she attempted to answer that question by contacting numerous sex toy companies and asking them (along with anybody else in industry) what they were hoping to accomplish. She got a lot of silence and inadequate answers, a lot of hand-waving about old habits and “everybody’s always done this” thinking, and a few solid speculations relating to the avoidance of regulations and tariffs that might apply to a thing that that was labeled as a toy or misidentified by some bureaucrat as a medical device. It’s interesting reading if you’re interested in sex and business:
“For Novelty Use Only” Part 1
“For Novelty Use Only” Part 2
The anecdote that most engaged my dark sense of humor, though, involved a catastrophic sex toy injury from early in the industry’s history, involving a brand name (Doc Johnson) that’s always been synonymous (at least in my mind) with shoddy materials, pedestrian designs, and garish packaging. Lilly got this anecdote from Metis Black of Tantus:
When the industry was a baby Ted Marche made toys in his garage and he sold them very prolifically. This was the first US large manufacturer. He made a toy that had a wire inside the soft latex which rotated, much like the modern rabbits do. On one toy the interior wire was not capped, the edge of the wire as it was being used inside a man’s rectum chewed through the toy and did severe internal damage to his body. I think this was the mid 70’s. He (Marche) was sued and lost. The judge gave the victim a $14 mil settlement- which of course Mr. Marche couldn’t pay. That is how Ruben Sturman, and later Ron Braverman, got Doc Johnson. He took it off Mr. Marche’s hands.
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Sunday, June 9th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
One of the funnest things about looking at sex toy advertising is that it’s a literature full of joyful absurdity. Case in point: A sex ball called the Rough Rider. Remember those bouncing ball toys with handles that are for riding?
They are not unheard of for use in porn as well:
(Yes, folks, that’s the infamous Bat Pussy!)
Back to the Rough Rider. You just know you’ll look like a rough rider indeed when you’re bouncing on one of these:
Yes, my friends, if personal dignity is not on your agenda (and anyway, who really has dignity while they have a dildo up their ass?) you can use one of these to fuck yourself in the butt with extra bouncy-bouncy action!
Frankly I’m surprised that the world is not full of femdom porn where men are humiliated by being forced to bounce around the dungeon on one of these while being whipped by dominatrices. Yes, I looked (cursorily). No, I did not find any. Perhaps you’ll do better.
Pro-Tip: If your local sex ball seller is out of stock, you could always get you a robust suction-cup-attached sex toy to improve the bouncy ball you can buy at a regular toy store.
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Tuesday, February 5th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
This is web journalism headlining at its worst: the breathless headline trumpeting link-bait-y news that is, it turns out when you read the article, 100% not true:
Cheap 3D printers fuel home-printed sex toy “phenomenon”
Yeah. Only, not. It turns out that home-grade 3D printers don’t fuel anything of the kind — not yet — because none of the materials available for home 3D printing are sex-toy safe. From the article:
Nardone…says the rapidly falling cost of 3D printers is driving fetishists to experiment with the technology. “When printers dropped to $2,000, I bought one,” he says, although he adds that “surface finish and materials” are the major drawbacks of current technology.
“The issue is that consumer grade 3D printers can’t print in body-safe materials yet,” agrees Chelsea Downs of New York Toy Collective. “People can design their own toys and share the digital files online, but you still need someone to be able to take the printed prototype and turn it into a toy in a body-safe texture and material.”
Even Dongiverse warns on its blog that home-printed items are not safe to use in the bedroom. “The prints are not water-tight,” it advises, adding: “it’s damn near impossible to clean them.” Instead, it recommends that printouts are used as moulds to cast toys in appropriate materials.
So. Home-printed sex toys are not (yet) a phenomenon. But it seems self-evident they will be, one day, and the article offers a nice roundup of some entrepreneurs who are trying to get situated in the space so that they’ll be there when it becomes a thing.
So, why am I blogging about this? Because, buried in the story I found the unsurprising (but disappointing) news that the 800-lb-gorilla of online sites for sharing 3D design files is hostile to the sharing of sex toy designs. If it’s true — and it’s possible to imagine reasons why an account by someone with business ambition in this space might not turn out to be — it’s rather a disappointment, like the Steve Jobs Memorial Walled Garden Of Pleasurelessness:
Nardone set up [his] site after his attempts to upload his designs to popular 3D filesharing site Thingiverse were rebuffed. “I had a conversation with their attorney,” Nardone says. “He said ‘we want to be open-source but we have to draw the line. You can’t post that stuff here’.”
Thingiverse, remember, purports to be
a community of people who create and share designs freely, so that all can benefit from them.
There’s nothing in their TOS specifically against sex toys, but they don’t allow the posting of anything “pornographic” or “obscene”, nor do they allow uploading of user content that is “vulgar”, “pornographic”, “sexually explicit”, “obscene”, or “harmful to minors”. I suspect many of my readers would agree with me that a CAD file for a dildo is none of those things, yet that constellation of adjectives makes it pretty clear, I think, that such a file would indeed probably be unwelcome. I always hate it when entrepreneurs in a cool and economically-important space turn out to be sex-negative or sex-cowardly, but surprised? Never.
If you’ve read this far, you probably don’t need an explanation of precisely why home 3D printing is going to be important with respect to sex toys. Indeed, you may already have an idea for a sex toy that you’d like to print yourself, because nobody else in the world makes just what you want in the precise dimensions that you want. For me, it all became clear when I saw online a toy for men called the Trailer Hitch:
It’s a butt plug hooked to a cock ring, and it’s clear at a glance that, at least in theory, it’s more than the sum of its parts. If you’re a man and you put something up your butt, you’ve got to hold onto it if you want to move it, and you’ll want to move it if you’re after prostate stimulation. If you’re a man and you wear a cock ring (which can just feel good, or it can help maintain an unreliable erection) it can slide off your cock (if you wear it in front of the balls) or it can shove your balls forward with painful results (if you wear it behind the balls). So the concept of this toy is doubly brilliant; the anal plug hooks to the cock ring and holds it back against your body, while your normal fucking or wanking motion gives you a little bit of prostate stimulation.
But for it to work… just look at all the things that have to be sized properly! The ring has to be absolutely as small as it can be while still allowing you to put it on, the curved arm that attaches to the ring has to curve correctly and be the right length for your body size, the straight probe that goes into your butt has to be the proper length to reach your prostate, and then the ball on the end has to be a size large enough to do the stimulation job yet small enough you’re comfortable inserting it.
If you order one of these off the internet, you’ve got to pick (intelligently — but none of the things you need to measure are easy to measure with precision) from quite a lot of different options representing different combinations of these variables. You might get it wrong. Your expensive sex toy is non-returnable (for obvious reasons). If you’re rich and/or highly motivated, you might try again. How many people who get it wrong a second time are ever going to try a third time?
And yet, the idea seems good. We’re probably a long way from home printers that print in lovely solid stainless steel, but the Trailer Hitch would be fine in any sufficiently strong, smooth, non-porous plastic. With cheap enough feedstock, you could vary the design millimeter by millimeter, making iterative attempts until you had the perfect hitch for your trailer.
That’s the promise of home 3D sex toy printing. Infinite customization and personalization in perfect privacy. It’s not here yet. But it’s coming.
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Thursday, January 17th, 2013 -- by Bacchus
It turns out that Annie is a produce enthusiast:
From ALS Angels.
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Saturday, December 8th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
So I saw something this Christmas season that totally made me go “Ho ho ho!” The Glass Candy Cane is a gorgeous stocking stuffer that could totally stuff other stuff too if you get my drift and I know you do:
Even thought it’s a large (12 inches overall length) Pyrex-glass insertable sex toy, it still manages to look (almost) totally innocent — and very festive! — sitting right there in the Christmas stocking for the world to see. That’s a bonus and a half. The sales copy reads:
The slippery smooth, long end of the shaft provides 6.5 inches of delicious Pyrex pleasure, while the curved end can be used to target more hard-to-reach places. Made of waterproof, hypoallergenic, odor and phthalate-free Pyrex glass that wonderfully retains and transmits heat and cold, this firm, hefty stick is sure to bring gasps of delight — on Christmas morning or any morning.
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Friday, October 24th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
If you’re a regular sex blog reader or writer, you’re probably aware of EdenFantasys.com (Eden Fantasys). They’re one of the many companies competing for your internet sex toy dollar, and they are more prominent than many because they spread a fair amount of money (and sex toys) around the blogging community in exchange for reviews and attention. They never impressed me much — despite advertising briefly on ErosBlog — because their store front and inventory always seemed hopelessly “more of the same” to me, with nothing to distinguish the brand. But, probably, that’s just me.
One of the smart things they did was to hire AAG (formerly “Always Aroused Girl”), whose sex blogger credentials and contacts were (and are) very good, to do PR and outreach for them. And she did it well.
The not smart thing? When their business relationship with her went sour, they refused, she says, to pay her for work performed. Apparently they forgot the first rule of business, which is that your PR professional remains a PR professional even after she stops being your PR professional.
My own many years of doing business over the internet have taught me something that serious businessmen already knew — namely, that business is all about trust, and especially about character. I’ve quoted J.P. Morgan before: “A man I do not trust could not get money from me on all the bonds in Christendom.” Thus, in my opinion, a person, or a company, that fails to resolve its business disputes on the labor side, is also the sort of outfit that can’t be trusted to fairly resolve its disputes on the customer side. Whatever the details of AAG’s dispute with EdenFantasys.com, I know her well enough to know that she’s not unreasonable. If they failed to resolve their dispute with her, I personally don’t trust them to resolve their dispute with you, if you should be unhappy with your results after playing the big internet gambling game that is forking over your credit card and ordering merchandise from Hera-only-knows-where.
Hence, this warning.
There are plenty of sex toy stores on the internet. You don’t need to take a risk on an outfit that treats its contract employees unfairly.
One final note: Eden Fantasys is currently sending out spammy form letters to sex bloggers, seeking to arrange link exchanges, toy reviews, and the like. If you get (or have gotten) any of these, you might consider responding with a suggestion that they resolve their dispute with AAG. I’m sure she would appreciate the support.
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007 -- by Bacchus
Will someone please stop me from browsing through sex toy websites? Just when I think I’ve seen it all, they come up with something like the Anal Ring Toss game:
The Anal Ring Toss game is a new twist on a traditional ring toss game.
The designated “goalie” inserts the anal plug with the attached scoring pole into the butt. The players then attempt to throw one of the 3 plastic rings onto the pole. You score when your yellow ring successfully lands around the scoring pole in the goalie’s bum.
There are no set rules to this game. A fun set of instructions is included, but players are encouraged to make their own rules. Should the goalie move and shake the ass, or stay perfectly still? It is entirely up to the ring toss players.
What does the winner get? The goalie? It is entirely up to the players.
Please toss anal rings responsibly and have fun!
That’s right, please toss anal rings responsibly!
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