Pens, For Her

There’s a real product (made by a real company) currently available on Amazon in a pack of 12. It’s the “BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen” and how do we know it’s “for her?” Why, it’s “designed to fit comfortably in a womans hand” (sic) and it’s got an “attractive barrel design available in pink and purple.”

Needless to say, the reviews are positive (and hilarious). Like this one:

This product cured my girly dyslexia.

Before I bought this product I couldn’t write but now I’m an engineer. Mind you, I only design pink, flowery bridges, motorways and sewers. Blue ones would be wrong wouldn’t they.

Or this one:

Sent from Heaven by the Angels

I could never write until now because I’m such a thick little Princess that I refused to. I just drew pictures of my pink little bike, with the lilac streamers. I thought I’d just grow up and let a big manly man come and marry/save me.

Now I’ve found this pen, I’ve learned to write. It’s so pretty, with its comfortable grip, not like the razor like surface on ordinary mens pens. It will help me list all my household chores and record my calorie consumption in my diary. Who knows? Maybe it will give me the confidence to take the stabilisers off my bike.

Or even this one, which makes the pen sound like something you’d find at Figging.com:

Such a useful little tool (and that’s not just a description of the man in charge of the marketing campaign)

How could I have missed my own deep inner need for such a product? It’s just perfect for ramming straight up the hogs’ eye of any sexist man I happen to be oppressed by – no more Tabasco-dipped nasty old medical catheters for the misogynists in my life!

There are many, many more. (Ain’t no fleshpile in the world like the piling-on a determinedly stupid product can get in the Amazon reviews.)