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The Sex Blog Of Record
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014 -- by Bacchus
People can develop a fetish for just about anything. And making an unpleasant experience into a pleasant one by fetishising some aspect of it is hardly unheard of. It’s one of many theories behind why some people enjoy getting spanked or caned, for example. And I personally know a urine fetishist who spent a rough year in a hospital during his adolescence, recovering from a traumatic injury that left him unable to handle his bodily functions without a lot of hands-on nursing care. (He’s also fond of nurse outfits and rubbery medical stuff of all kinds. Correlation does not indicate causation, but sometimes it’s a clue, right?)
Something I have not encountered (which is not to say she isn’t out there somewhere) is a woman who professes any sexual fondness for medical speculums. Most women report finding them unpleasant, for reasons that seem obvious enough. But in this long article on the history and design of the speculum, I noticed with interest the following account:
In 1850, the Royal Medicine and Chirurgical Society of London held a standing-room-only meeting in which the community heard arguments for and against the speculum. These doctors worried that women would mistake the exam for a sexual experience. The British physician Robert Brudenell Carter reinforced this fear in his 1853 book, On the Pathology and Treatment of Hysteria, writing that he had “seen young unmarried women, of the middle class of society, reduced by constant use of the speculum to the mental and moral condition of prostitutes; seeking to give themselves the same indulgence by the practice of solitary vice; and asking every medical practitioner … to institute an examination of the sexual organs.”
You can parse that as the empty blatherings of a moral panic about female sexuality, but what if we parse it instead as an honest report of observations of fetish behavior, a report that is almost buried in and obscured by the moral panic of the nonetheless attempting-to-report-his-observations doctor? To put it in modern terms, is Dr. Carter telling us that in his practice he encountered young single women who had fetishised their encounters with speculums, who were now sexually excited by speculums, who masturbated to memories of their experiences of being examined with a speculum, and who sought to recreate that fetishised experience at their next medical visit?
It ought not be a surprise, if that’s indeed what Dr. Carter encountered. And if it happened in the early 1800s, surely it still happens today?
Being a typical male-type pig-dog, I have always thoughtlessly assumed that the specula sold as sex toys were mostly about the pleasures of doing: looking, poking, prodding, playing doctor, inflicting (with sadistic intent, of whatever perhaps-mild degree). A woman’s pleasure in these scenarios I might have imagined to be reciprocal: pleasure at being the object of voyeurism, the enjoyment of any good roleplay that excites and inflames your partner, the masochistic pleasures (in whatever degree) of having been inflicted upon. I had never considered the possibility that the speculum itself — or the act of being examined by a speculum-wielder — might have fetishistic power in its own right.
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Thursday, January 23rd, 2014 -- by Bacchus
As y’all know, I’m a big fan of seasonal sex toy sales, because it gives me an excuse to look for attractive items that couples can use to have fun together. Let’s get started, shall we?
First of all, what is the greatest romantic holiday of the year without roses? But real roses are expensive and (if you source them the traditional flower-shop way) something of an environmental nightmare. And then, a few days later, they’re trash (or at best, compost). Feather roses are more fun (tickle party time!) and last much longer:
Another great couples gift is a sexy craft project that you can make together and use together. The Clone-A-Willy kit for making a dildo in his precise likeness has gotten a lot of press for this reason; you can have fun making it together and then play with it together or separately. Is she the type to steal your old sports shirts to sleep in when you’re not there? Perhaps she’ll enjoy a more personal memento!
For many of us, though, this is a holiday about chocolate. Don’t worry, we’ve got that covered! Indeed, why not get the make-it-out-of-chocolate version of the Clone-A-Willy kit?
But this is 2014, and what used to be sauce exclusively for the gander is now also available as sauce for the goose. Get those replica willies out of your mind for a moment. Did you know there was a Clone-A-Pussy Molding kit now available? (Sadly, apparently not in chocolate.)
This could be fun to use, but you’ll need to take care that you don’t give off any sort of creepy trophy-hunter vibe when it’s time to persuade the proprietor of your favorite pussy to participate in your proposed craft project. I can’t say I’m sanguine that the sales copy totally avoids that pitfall:
This fun and easy do-it-yourself kit includes everything you’ll need to make an incredibly detailed, life-size rubber copy of the outer portion of any vagina from your own home. Use the mold over and over again and create your own treasured collection of life-like vaginas. Please note: Your new pussy replica is a shallow likeness, without a hole, and not designed for …ahem…. insertion. Think of it as a naughty homage, as opposed to a working masturbation device.
Moving rapidly onward, as perhaps we ought, there’s a very real chance that a person might much prefer to explore his or her favorite pussy in the most exquisite detail, rather than making a non-functional partial copy out of rubber. If you suspect your lover of feeling that way about your own pussy, perhaps you might surprise them with a handy inspection tool in festive holiday pink?
For the more timorous among you, it’s worth pointing out that sexual how-to books and DVDs are among the safest, most non-threatening sexy gifts you can give. Your partner can process the gift on his or her own time, a sex book or video can be the topic of later open-ended discussion, and in the end, it can be a great way to bring new sexual material into your relationship. There are several awesome titles in this year’s sale that you may want to consider:
Enjoy!
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Sunday, December 30th, 2012 -- by Bacchus
I’m pretty sure this object was not designed for use as an anal speculum for humans:
But we are the inventive monkeys, right?
From Electrosluts.
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Wednesday, January 26th, 2011 -- by Bacchus
So, it’s the time of year when the sex toy stores are having their annual Valentine’s Day sale, and I’m browsing for my own shopping as well as to see if there’s anything new and entertaining that needs to be mentioned here.
And then I see the pink speculum:
I feel like I almost don’t dare comment. On the one hand, we’ve all seen contexts in which manufacturers have laughably abused the color pink in an attempt to sell stuff to women. Was it a hammer manufacturer who so notoriously put a pink carpenter’s hammer on the market under the “Lady” rubrick?
On the other hand, most of us men have learned that when it comes to sex stuff, toys with stainless steel gleams and clanks are trickier to pull out of the toy bag than toys in more pleasing colors. And while I don’t think I’ve ever known a lady whose “eyes light up because she sees something pink” reaction was stronger than her “you just reminded her of her last gyno exam” reaction, she might be out there, and for the man whose fetish moves him to try for a real close inspection, this might just be the tool to reel her in with.
Meanwhile the people who sell these would prefer to distract potential customers with bad punnery:
Put your medical play back in the pink with our newest speculum. Daintily designed to explore and examine, this tantalizing tool adds a touch of whimsy and a splash of color to any scene or scenario. Don’t let the pretty color fool you — this is a fully-functional gynecological instrument perfect for exams, so hop up on the table, stick your feet in the stirrups, and get ready to shout “Giddyup!”
I think that effort deserves a heartfelt “Yeehaw!”, don’t you?
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Saturday, November 27th, 2010 -- by Bacchus
You’ve been there. In the examining room. Cute nurse. You wanted to take away her stethoscope, remove her scrubs, and give her an extremely thorough and personal examination.
Of course it didn’t happen. You didn’t let on; she’s a professional who doesn’t need your lust complicating her day. Anyway, that’s what fantasy, and internet porn, are for. For instance, they let you get much better acquainted with Nurse Kira here, from Exposed Nurses:
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Friday, September 25th, 2009 -- by Bacchus
Sometime in the mid-to-late 1980s, Annie Sprinkle became somewhat famous (or notorious, depending on who you talk to) for her performance art show Porn Post Modernist, which included a bit she called A Public Cervix Announcement:
Personally, I’ve always thought she should have called it “Through Darkest Ignorance With Flashlight And Speculum”:
Well, it’s now twenty(ish) years later, in the age of the internet and digital cameras. Which means Annie’s groundbreaking work has been re-imagined, in the spirit of “citizen science”, as the Beautiful Cervix Project, with high-resolution color photographs taken daily over time, complete with a tip-o-the-hat to the “very talented boyfriend with a headlamp.” The only thing that feels 1980s about this project is the understandable but blogger-unfriendly advance-permission-required photo reproduction policy; in every other respect, it’s very much in the style we’ve come to think of as “Wikipedia Modern”:
Comic credit: xkcd.
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Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 -- by Bacchus
I’m not entirely sure what the underlying reason is for this instructional illustration, but hey, here it it anyway:
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