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How To Advertise Your Bathhouse

Sunday, April 25th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Honestly I don’t know what part of the rich tapestry of diverse human behavior we are looking at here. I can tell you, though, what I want it to be. Imagine you’ve got a bathhouse and massage parlor in a chilly Asian city. You’ve got rooms full of steaming hot tubs and pretty girls who want to get paid. Meanwhile, your city is locked in the grip of of a winter storm. Snow is just bucketing down outside and the temperature is dropping faster than the wind is picking up. How you gonna advertise? Here’s a way you could advertise:

cutie in a swimsuit and a pool ring floatie waves and miles in the middle of a blizzard

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Annie Speirs And Friends

Friday, December 8th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Annie Speirs, the proud winner of an Olympic gold medal at the 1912 games in the 4x100m relay. At a time when women in swimming events were considered scandalous (those bodies! the suits! gasp!) she’s standing bold and proud next to her team’s grim-faced and utterly formidable chaperone, nipples fully popped through her silk competition swimsuit, giving absolutely zero fucks and daring the world to make something of it:

Annie Coupe Spears and her nippy nipples

Photo via Spanking Blog.

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Cactus Queen

Wednesday, January 28th, 2015 -- by Bacchus

I’m told that in the early days of the New Mexico Territory, they didn’t really have a complete understanding of what the “swimsuit” portion of their local beauty pageants should look like:

woman wearing a cactus bikini

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More Vintage Fetish Fuel

Sunday, December 12th, 2010 -- by Bacchus

Sure a vintage photograph like this will be fetish fuel for somebody. And if not, at least it’s proof that people have been doing, and taking pictures of, some kinky shit, for a long time. What we have here is the cropped version of a photo from the 1930s featuring a woman in a skin-tight latex outfit from which the nipple area has been removed:

1930s boobless latex outfit

If you click for the uncropped version, of course she’s wearing high heels, too.

Was it originally supposed to be art, or porn? I have no idea.

Update: Possibly a photo of Yva Richards.

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On the Art of Donald McGill

Monday, September 6th, 2010 -- by Dr. Faustus

Browsing through that extraordinary internet source of interesting stuff GoodShit I came across a post that centered on an image, a naughty postcard done by a now relatively obscure artist named Donald McGill.

tonsil hunter

And I had an immediate shock of recognition, even though as far as I can remember I had never seen the work of this artist before. How can that be?

The answer is “George Orwell.” My impression is that Orwell is probably best known in the United States as the author of a satire called Animal Farm and a dystopian novel entitled 1984. That’s a shame, it seems to me, because it means that Orwell is best remembered for what are arguably his least distinguished literary accomplishments. It is really as a memoirist and an essayist that Orwell really shines. And Orwell wrote an essay called The Art of Donald McGill (1941) in which he really showed us what he can do. Where possessors of lesser intellects would simply have turned up their noses at saucy seaside postcards, perhaps with dismissive remarks about how they were “trash,” Orwell here, as he also did with crime novels and boys’ weeklies, dove in and tried to read the social significance of naughty postcards. A sample:

…[T]he McGill post card–and this applies to all other post cards in this genre–is not intended as pornography but, a subtler thing, as a skit on pornography. The Hottentot figures of the women are caricatures of the Englishman’s secret ideal, not portraits of it. When one examines McGill’s post cards more closely, one notices that his brand of humour only has a meaning in relation to a fairly strict moral code. Whereas in papers like Esquire, for instance, or La Vie Parisienne, the imaginary background of the jokes is always promiscuity, the utter breakdown of all standards, the background of the McGill post card is marriage. The four leading jokes are nakedness, illegitimate babies, old maids and newly married couples, none of which would seem funny in a really dissolute or even ‘sophisticated’ society. The post cards dealing with honeymoon couples always have the enthusiastic indecency of those village weddings where it is still considered screamingly funny to sew bells to the bridal bed.

It is a measure of how evocatively Orwell writes that he can make a reader more than half a century later recognize a visual image just through words. I can only envy the vigor of Orwell’s prose, but I have always hoped, at least, to be able to emulate his sense that there is something important to be gained by mining what others might dismiss as culture’s “low” ephemera. (See! There is too a legitimate reason to write post after post on Roger Corman movies!)

carry a big stick

I commend the entire essay (link above) to your attention. And I am pleased to note that the Telegraph has now made a small gallery of McGill postcards available online.

 

Jessica Alba’s Ass

Monday, July 27th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

In which Jessica Alba swims with the fishes, in a very small bikini:

jessica alba\'s ass in a bathing suit

Screengrabbed from some nature show that went by on TNT.

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