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Don’t Forget To Peecycle

Monday, January 23rd, 2017 -- by Bacchus

When I woke up this morning, my subconscious mind was already wrangling with the poetical details of a series of limericks. It seems grandiose to call this short sequence of lowbrow verses a cycle, but that’s truly what it is: three of the limericks (so far) focus on the comic tale of a certain prominent man in a fancy hotel room in Moscow, alone but for Putin’s cameras and some well-hydrated women “of a low level of social responsibility.”

woman pissing into a chamberpot

For a variety of reasons, I’m uncertain whether I should actually post the resulting pee-cycle. I am therefore imposing upon myself (and upon my own questionable judgment) a very low challenge barrier. Here it is: if I get three more pledges (at any level) in support of the ErosBlog Patreon campaign before Tuesday, January 31, 2017, I’ll post the limericks on that day. If I don’t? Then I won’t.

Are there least three people, each having a dollar or more to spare, who would like to see a few verses of lowbrow liquid lampoonery?

If not, that’s a good reason to keep this pissy doggerel to myself.

Meanwhile, here is a tangentially related limerick that spun out of my fingertips while I was writing down the pee ones (which are much funnier, I promise.) This one got rejected from the cycle due to humorlessness and a technical lack of subject-matter relevance:

An old billionaire dickhead named Don
Likes to grab women’s cunts — and hang on.
“They don’t stop me, the bitches!
Because I have riches…”
Says the rapist who thinks he’s Don Juan.

If you want more and better, you know what to do

February 1 update: The people have (not) spoken. The Pee Cycle will not be published. However, I can refuse my existing patrons nothing. If you are a Patreon supporter of ErosBlog who wants to see these limericks, please email me (bacchus@erosblog.com) and ask. I’ll fix you right up!

February 2018 update: Still not a peep from the people. Wow, I seriously misunderestimated the revulsion of the populace at the mere prospect of this fine literachure. I may go to my grave with this little .txt file still on my hard drives. Let it be a problem for my literary executor. Um… On second thought, maybe I will publish it in celebration if the Russkis ever release the video. We’ll see.

2021 update: Since the old mope can’t stop denial-confessing to this kink, I should remind everybody that it’s never too late to support me on Patreon and then email me for your copy of the Pee Cycle.

 

Showers Of Gold

Wednesday, January 11th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Danae golden showers

Today seems like a fine day to examine the rich artistic tradition surrounding the conception of Perseus. Are your umbrellas ready? Good!

It’s a long story, but the short version is: Danaë was locked in a basement by her father (for reasons) but got impregnated anyhow by Zeus, who appeared to her as a shower of gold coins. (Apparently the almighty Zeus had somehow internalized a “chicks dig gold, right?” philosophy of seduction.) The resulting scene has proved to be very popular with artists from every age.

The painting at the top of the post is by Léon François Comerre. This next one is by Alexander Sigov, and the one after that is by Gustav Klimt. At the bottom of the post is artwork from a Greek vase circa 450 BC that’s now in the Louvre.

golden shower for Danae

golden shower for Danae

golden shower greek

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Is The Internet Over For Me?

Saturday, October 10th, 2009 -- by Bacchus

I’ve seen a lot of stuff on the internet. But now I’ve seen … everything?

Probably not. No. There’s probably no end to the creative genius of crowdsourced perversion. But if there were, this might be it. Behold:

A woman. Dismounted from her bicycle. Squatting. Panties around her ankles. Peeing, with an expression of great joy, on a turtle.

I dunno. I may have finally reached the end of the internets.

Via It’s Good If You Like it, a tumblr suggested in my What Should ErosBlog Be Linking To? comment thread.

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