So, Bacchus was awakened early on Christmas morning. This was unexpected, as Bacchus has no children. Still, there was a tugging at Bacchus’s…well, let’s just say there was a tugging.

“Bacchus! Bacchus! Wake up! It’s time to unwrap your present!”

“Present? I already unwrapped my presents last night.”

“Well, if you don’t want to….” [much pouting]

The Christmas present Bacchus did not get

And that is the tale of how Bacchus did not wake up on Christmas morning. Ah, well, so much for fantasyland.