Sedona Violet is talking from a lesbian perspective here, but I don’t find a word to disagree with. Her flabbers are ghasted at the notion that pussy, or coochie as she calls it, must be shower-fresh to be palatable. She says “unflavored cat is diabolical” and I am inclined to agree:

Here’s what she has to say about it:

Someone made a video talking about how people have a problem eating “walked-in coochie”… you know, coochie that’s had time to marinate in its own juices. And all I have to say to that is: do you bitches not season your food?

Because what do you mean, you only eat freshly washed cat? Sans salt? Sans flavor? Sans taste?

The fuck?

It’s not even just that it doesn’t taste like anything. It tastes like soap! Is that really what you wanna be eating? You want soapy cooter-cat in your mouth?

When it’s that fresh, it takes at least a round or two to get a little bit of flavor going in that bitch. And what do you do then? Stop and clean it up? Do you make her take another shower? Because, ooh, I can taste you now?

I don’t think y’all are gay enough for me!

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A few weeks back I heard this joke circulating that I meant to share on here, but I kept forgetting. The joke contains a reference to an actual naval action that happened on the 4th of March:

A US submarine sank an Iranian warship in the middle of the Indian Ocean, by firing a torpedo. That hadn’t happened since 1945.

Apparently a torpedo is the only kind of pedo the US will fire…

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Yesterday’s ass-eating video clip led naturally, as these things do, to back-channel conversations about the nomenclature around what the dictionary people delicately call “erotic stimulation achieved by contact between mouth and anus.”

The Wikipedia article on this sexual practice is under anilingus, where it is explained to be a sort of portmanteau of the Latin anus and -lingus, from lingere (to lick). However in English the spelling has morphed until it is more often seen as analingus than anilingus. Thus the Wikipedia editors, though not yet Miriam Webster, accept both spellings.

If dog Latin wasn’t fun, schoolboys and cunning armchair linguists wouldn’t have done so much of it since the empire fell. But what does all of this have to do with rimming and salad tossing? Here I shall let The Contemporary Dictionary of Sexual Euphemisms by Jordan Tate take up the taxonomical tale, even if (having been published in 2007) it no longer feels so very contemporary:

A derivation of eating out, tossing salad is a derogatory term aimed at emasculating homosexual men, by implying that because of their sexual orientation, they are inherently less masculine. When this euphemism was popularized, it only described the act of a man performing analingus on another man. The propagation of the term stemmed from the results of mixing various greens and dressing to achieve an even coating on each leaf. It was assumed that this type of care and precision was taken to coat the anus in saliva and prepare the anus for anal intercourse. It is this logical leap that hindered the initial popularity of tossing salad and why its origin still remains a mystery to so many. Tossing salad soon came to describe any sessions of analingus where the tongue penetrates the sphincter (thereby differentiating it from a “rim job”) regardless of intentions of anal intercourse.

And that, I think, is as much as most of us will ever need to know about the various terms for eating ass.

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This little clip from Murad Shawki’s standup comedy routine describes the first time he got his ass eaten, and the involuntary Mickey Mouse noises he ended up making:

At least he’s a good sport!

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Did he meet up by random chance with a familiar suck-buddy while separated from his girlfriend during their regular Saturday morning run? Or is this the kind of man who had the audacity to arrange a quickie under the bridge, knowing his girlfriend would be nearby but gambling on not getting caught?

Cartoon is by Adler.

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Sometimes when you see your doom, you just know there’s no point at all in resisting it. Hell, sometimes you don’t even want to:

Thus it was, for Nibbles and the pretty warlock in leather with the fire whips. Doom at first sight!

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It’s not that a woman fingering herself is precisely unseen in modern pornography, but magazine porn in the 1970s was different. This sequence in a 1975 issue of Pleasure magazine featured a woman who poured herself a cocktail and settled into the serious business of giving herself a solo orgasm:

Mission accomplished!

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