December 5th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
It feels like a very long time ago indeed that I wrote about discreet porn for women who have “bejazzled leatherette Hello Kitty e-reader covers”. In that same post I also wrote:
“Oh my god you filthy wonderful dirty wenches. Men, you have NO idea what is on the Kindles around you. NONE. You are clueless. That is all.”
The march of time since I wrote those words may have raised our awareness levels about smutty ebooks and the women who love them, but apparently the correlation between ebook porn and cutely-decorated Kindle covers still obtains. Mia recounts her observations while shoulder-surfing her friend’s reading material on a metropolitan subway:
The bitches with cute Kindle cases got to be the horniest motherfuckers I’ve ever seen! Oh my fucking god!
I’m sitting next to my bitch on the Metro, she’s like my fucking best friend. She’s got this cute little bunny rabbit cover, like whatever the fuck. I look down and it’s like “He fucks me raw from every angle, every hole was filled, he made a fourth hole by pressing my tits together…”
I’m like “Bro, this cannot be legal!”
No change in her facial expression…
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December 3rd, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Did you think that merely stepping on a LEG0 brick was painful? The LEG0 Buttplug may safely be presumed to take that experience to a whole other level:
As the saying goes, prepare your anus!
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December 1st, 2024 -- by Bacchus
Maybe a few of you are old enough to remember the old telephone gag where some wag would call up a tobacco shop and ask “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” (Prince Albert was a popular brand of pipe tobacco; my father smoked it.) Upon an affirmative answer, the caller would shout “Well, let him out, he’s suffocating!” and hang up. Hardy har har.
Well, this is the 21st century. Forget Prince Albert, the new question is “Do you have beaver in a can?”
I don’t have an actual joke for this. But, think of the convenience!
Image is from an actual advertisement for an actual product.
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November 30th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
I like the conceit of a pictorial brothel lineup — it’s efficient! But I think the lady in charge of presenting the “menu” is cheating:
From the 1960 Adam Annual magazine. There’s an artist signature lower left, but I can’t make sense of it.
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November 28th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
In all my decades of porn appreciation, I have seen many different blowjob faces. In 20th-century porn especially, it wasn’t too hard to find a model who was doing it for the money and failing to conceal distaste. But, then as now, there was considerable overlap between porn performers and other kinds of sex workers. Keeping a professional face on was more or less the norm, although feigning genuine appreciation was done to a lower standard than today.
I also fancy that the world has relaxed and a lot more people make a regular diet of dick now. Whatever they may think of the taste, it’s not an unwelcome novelty.
But you know what? From the first porn I ever saw until now, this is the most disgusted blowjob face I’ve ever seen:
I found it in Volume #1, Issue #1 of an undated $10 magazine called Stroke that’s perhaps from the 1970s.
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November 26th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
“Hey, babe, do you want to run away with me? Dump your terrible husband and we’ll go live in a cosycore gypsy caravan with lots of candles and beads and filmy clothes in pretty colors. We can spin and sew and craft and make braided rugs and pretty quilts and brush the horses and never worry about pleasing some silly man, ever again. How about it?
Photos are from the April 1974 issue of Italian Playman magazine.
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November 24th, 2024 -- by Bacchus
According to the September 17, 1926 issue of Arts and Vanities magazine, this impressive movie kiss features actor Stuart Holmes and an actress not identified in the caption.
The film was Broken Hearts Of Hollywood (1926).
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