Some stunningly sane writing from Jane Duvall about a difficult thing to do, sharing fantasies:

The other night, I went out on a limb the likes of which I never thought I’d do and shared one of my most extreme fantasies with Jim. I did it the way I was supposed to, because I was ready to own it and be okay even if it was something he thought was yucky (he didn’t, but hey.. we’re closer in a lot of ways than we ever realized) and I did it at the most risky time for me to do it ever, when we were that far apart. And it felt really great, to realize that I can start owning my feelings, desires and wants. I don’t have to let things happen to me, I can ask for what I want and I may or may not get it, but I can survive it if I don’t and make my choices accordingly. This may sound like a no-brainer, but it’s not a place I’ve been before given my history.

The “ready to own it” line is really quite useful. The terrifying part of sharing a fantasy is the risk that the other person will say “Yuck” and think more poorly of you. Being able to respond with “It’s mine and that’s me and I’m good with that” is tremendously liberating. Which is not to say it’s easy.