A Tricky Question
Tara and Jeff (more horny Canadians!) at Naughty Secrets have asked an interesting question:
When you buy sex toys in a relationship and then break up, who gets the toys?
They go on to say “Obviously the woman” (which I’m not so sure about, depending on the toys) and then ask more questions:
Should she keep the toys? Should she bring them to the next relationship? Do toys have baggage?
From time to time I’ve pondered that very question. See, I happen to be possessed of a quality set of Velcro-fastened fuzzy-lined wrist and ankle cuffs with handy D-rings for attaching to things. She bought them for me as a gift – and of course the real gift was her wearing them for me. We had some fun with them, too. (It’s good that I don’t have any photos of her wearing them, or the blogging reflex to link one to “we had some fun” would be overwhelming.) And then of course we split up and I kept the cuffs — after all, they were mine.
However, every time I’ve moved them or seen them since, it’s caused me to wonder: “Why am I keeping these?” Seriously, if I met another lady who wanted to play that way, wouldn’t it freak her out to be tied up with lightly used cuffs? Lightly used, that is, by the ex girlfriend? They’re clean and they don’t smell, but still. I am not wise in the ways of women, but my spidey sense is giving me hell over the idea. Possibly not the smartest move, Lothario.
I hate to say it, because it means I should throw away that perfectly good set of cuffs: But yeah, I’d say toys have baggage.
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=539
There are a lot of questions you might need to ask yourself. Like, is it an item you bought when you were single, BEFORE you began your previous relationship?
…or is it an item you bought together while in Vegas, on your honeymoon…
If it’s an easily replaced item, like the butt plug she used on her previous boyfriend when they played dom/sub games, then I say even if she kept it, I think it’s time to replace it. Yeah, even it was always used wrapped in a condom first. Unless, of course, that turns you on…
However. If I have dungeon furniture, unless I’m as wealthy as Bill Gates, I say I’m not trashing my pillory, my spanking bench, my St. Andrew’s cross, or even my genuine police-issue handcuffs. Sorry.
And I don’t think I need to be asking questions like, “Did you wear that lace-up girdle with “HIM”…” or “How long have you had that Hitachi wand vibrator honey?”
I think every individual has to run their own “gut check”. If you’re both swingers, and you’re used to participating in orgies, then it’s probably a non-issue.
Different people may have different answers to this type of question. Some couples could probably discuss it beforehand.