This morning at ErosBlog Central I was pouring my second cup of coffee when The Nymph began to wake up.

So I wandered over to the bed to kiss her. After that essential business was taken care of, I was standing by the bed, sipping my coffee, and watching her wake up as we made desultory conversation. (Also, I was amusing myself by tugging at the sheet she was attempting, fruitlessly, to cover herself with.)

I ask her: “So what do you want to do today?”

A: “I need to go to the store.”

Q: “Oh yeah? What for?” (Translation for aliens: “What items do you need to go to the store to get?”)

A: “I need a couple of items.”

Whereupon your researcher abandoned all further attempts to communicate with this alien via ordered sound waves. Instead, I rousted her from her nest by vigorous application of this essential tool to the bottoms of her feet.

She had it coming. No male jury would convict me.