The Blowjob Curse
Woe be unto him, who would be deserving of this curse:
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic hair, may you be forced to lick sweat from the balls of every water buffalo in Asia, and may you forever share your house and bed with a woman like this one:
I get pretty lazy about sex acts that require alot of work, like blow jobs: I can live the rest of my life without doing it, honestly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike them but I wouldn’t miss them either. Let’s just say that I give enough to shut the guy up but I need to be motivated, like if he decides to cook me a great dinner, or takes me out someplace fun. I know, I’m supposed to just love doing it without thinking about what I may get in return but blow jobs are not a labor of love to me….I’m not saying cutting corners on giving blow jobs is admirable, it isn’t, but I’ve done my share and if I have to use a little teeth to discourage some guys from ever asking again, I’ll do it. That way, it’s got to be so bad, they’d have to be masochists to ask me again. (I only did it lightly, as the last thing I wanted was for the guys to get hurt. I just wanted it to be bad enough that they wouldn’t want me to blow them again.)
Attributed to one “Laura the Tooth” (well, actually just Laura) over on Yellow Curious, the curiously racialized blog where every person mentioned gets identified by race before the author says whatever it is he has to say about them.
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=905
At times, I can also get pretty lazy about sex acts that require a lot of work, like blowjobs. However, I figure “one standard will do nicely, thank you” and so I simply request positions where I don’t actively have to DO a lot of work. We can both lie on our sides, with a little pillow under my head (so I don’t have to do anything but lie there & concentrate on what wicked sensations my mouth is creating, instead of straining my neck or back). Or I can lie on my back, propped up against the headboard, & he can straddle my chest. The trick is to be so “lazy” that you can devote your attention to what actually matters. And positioning myself for his comfort when he performs oral sex is only the pleasantly reciprocal thing to do!
Oh come come now…it’s a friggin’ blog ABOUT race and sex so it’s not like I’m identifying people by race just for the hell of it. (and I don’t do it with EVERY post).
That said, thanks for the pub! This is the best Sunday I’ve had in terms of visits.
I didn’t say it was just for the hell of it, Asian Guy (see, you even do it in your name). I do, however, find it curious. Even the idea of a blog about “race and sex” strikes me as bizarre; it’s like writing a blog about “color and beer” and then saying “a clear pale yellow Coors” every time you want to mention that you and a friend went down to the pub for a beer. It’s not that color is irrelevant to the discussion of beer, or even unimportant; it obviously affects every beer drinking transaction. But to be so focused on the color of your beer that you can’t talk about beer without mentioning it? That, my friend, is curious. And saying “the whole point is to write a blog about beer and color” doesn’t make it any less curious.
But curious is not bad. Just…curious.
Very curious indeed. Some people, of the more offensensitive type, who wish to live in a colorblind world, might even be offended.
Bacchus,
With all due respect, race and sex make a lot more sense together than color and beer. No one passes legislation barring certain colors from certain beers but in America alone (let alone the rest of the world), we’ve had hundreds of years of laws and vigilante justice that has existed with the primary goal of making sure certain people (b/c of their race) don’t get to have sex with other people (namely white). This has been reinforced in everything from anti-miscgenation laws (which only got taken off the books by the 1960s), anti-immigration laws, to the Hollywood Code to the lynching of Emmit Till and countless Black men in the South. None of this is ancient history and all the repercussions reverberate today.
I’m certainly not suggesting that you can’t write aobut sex by itself and a lot of my posts about sex (the act of) don’t have anything to do with race. But the pairing, to me, hardly seems unusual.
“But the pairing, to me, hardly seems unusual.”
That’s exactly the point I find curious. Your racialized viewpoint is not unusual, but it is (from my perspective) part of the problem, not part of the solution.
The history points you mention are ancient history. Yes, they reverberate. But adding to those reverberations is hardly the way to bring them to a swift end.
Until you can talk about human beings without feeling the compulsion to flag them with racial identity tags, race is a problem in your world. When you can learn to do that, it will be not so big a problem.
I don’t want to live in a world where people need to be slotted into neat little racial boxes. And I don’t think I live in such a world. Every time I meet someone who does think so, I find it…curious.
Bacchus,
My recent postings on the site try to make this point clear: there comes a time when one can get TOO caught up in race when it comes to sex. Whiny, bitter Asian men who seem to think all the chips are stacked against them might be right in principle (the chips are stacked against them) but complaining loudly about the problem doesn’t actually solve the problem. That said though, my postings aren’t complaints about race and sex insofar as they’re observations and ideas.
But, we’ll have to disagree about this all being ancient history. I think many white men in America would seem to think it is but for men and women of color, we have to deal with the legacies of racism as it pertains to sex. Please don’t take offense at what I’m about to say but I don’t have the time or interest to try to explain that all to you but it is VERY real.
Your attitude is very reminiscent of someone like California’s Ward Connerly whose approach to dealing with racism is: don’t talk about it and it will go away. Forgive me if I call that a rather naive attitude. Maybe you don’t want to live in a world of racial categories but Bacchus, most of us who aren’t white don’t get to live in your world. I wish we could, really, I do. But we don’t.
Look, we could go 12 rounds on this and never agree and I’m not trying to disrespect you or your site. Heck, my site visits are quintuple what they usually are, thanks to you.
Some interesting racial assumptions in that last post.
Nope, we’ll never agree. I intend no disrespect, but I still think viewing the world through a racial lense (complete with little racial ID tags over everyone’s head) perpetuates racism. Which is why I find it curious when folks who profess concern about racism do it.
How can anyone ever get lazy about blowjobs? They are truly the most control a girl is ever going to have! Personally I adore them because no matter how non-verbal, no matter how shy or inhibited, no matter how stalwart the man… a good 10 minutes of effort on your part tells you everything you will ever really need to know about him. And of course, coincidentally, it feels good!
;-)
rg
Everyone is missing the point…that most women feel this way about giving bjs. That’s the true issue here!
There’s a difference between viewing the world through a racial lens all the time and viewing the world through a racial lens while writing a blog.
Not every blog is a complete and representative sample of the blogger’s identity, after all. A blog about race and sex doesn’t necessarily mean the blogger’s obsessed with race and sex, a blog about video games doesn’t necessarily mean the blogger plays video games 24/7, a blog about Julius Caesar doesn’t necessarily mean the blogger views everything IRL through an ancient Roman lens.
The idea is to provide and receive sexual pleasure – I mean responsibly – but it is not up to a blog to determine who and who doesnt fuck or suck or with who making love or having gratuitous mutually enjoyable sex is up to the two er or three well four or five well up to the partners involved.