No More Cum Buckets, Please
Over on Donny’s Ramblings, softcore porn producer Donovan Phillips makes some suggestions for hard-core porn producers about things to include in hard-core porn. This one set me to to musing:
Kissing – doesn’t have to be lovey, dovey kissing. Some firm, “Oh my God I want to fuck you!” type kissing helps get the women I know going. The male shows some aggression but in an “I really fucking want you!” way instead of a “You’re my cum bucket” type way. Know what I mean?
I think that distinction between aggression and contempt is important. What’s with all the contempt for the talent in American porn, anyway? It’s possible, perhaps even normal, for people to enjoy depictions of sexual aggression, but I don’t really know all that many men who buy into the “cum bucket” contemptuousness and distaste. In my life to date, I’ve heard only one man actually utter that phrase in all seriousness, and he’s widely known to be an exceptional asshole. When I see pornography that buys into the whole adolescent large-talking locker room “bitch/whore/cunt/slut” foulness, I’m always tempted to assume that the pornographers in question are letting their own personal issues cloud their understanding of their market. Most men (all real men) can readily distinguish between sexual aggressiveness and sexual contempt. The former is good dirty fun in appropriate contexts, and often quite well appreciated by the women in question. The latter just leaves us thinking “What the fuck?!”
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=1050
In-fucking-deed! Get to whoever’s at the top and tell them about this quick, it’s destroying porn as we know it!
Completely agree! It’s like those cargo cults of the Pacific (look them up); these porn producers don’t understand the distinction between enthusiastic and abusive. Blowjob/cumshot porn, and gonzo in general, arose to fill the need for “authentic” seeming porn with willing, energetic, fun-loving participants in a time when most porn was contract girls wearing watches and showing no enthusiasm.
Now, they’ve completely mistaken that us guys who like that genre of porn like it because the women seem energized and happy. Taking it way beyond that to the point of slapping the women around, writing graffiti on them, outright humiliating them, like [deleted] has done for years, and this other guy does in several video/web sets (can’t recall his name)…. this goes beyond porn into something bordering on the psychopathic dehumanization of all involved.
I sometimes think American porn-makers are more and more inhabiting their own little world, and they’re getting more and more out of touch.
Maybe they’ve become so jaded they can’t make porn for themselves anymore, they have to see what everyone else is doing and do *that*, only more so.
Hi, folks. I’ve had to edit several comments, because this thread was turning into a hatefest over a particular porn publisher, and ErosBlog is so *NOT* about wishing people fiery deaths. Besides, that porn publisher has many fans, and going too far condemning his product amounts to condemning the sexual tastes of people who may be ErosBlog readers. Polite expressions of distaste are fine, but the edited comments went too far.
Gromm, you’re absolutely right that lots of people enjoy participating in and/or watching sexual situations that seem degrading to outsiders. I was never questioning that, and I don’t have a problem with it. Indeed, much BDSM porn is boring because it’s *too* safe, sane, consensual and respectful to sustain the heat that fuels rough sex fantasies.
So yes, there’s porn that caters to the seemingly-abusive-and-degrading crowd. Unlike some commenters here, I don’t condemn that. However, the point I’m making is that even in porn that’s not strictly targeted to that market, there’s often a great deal of sexual contempt. I’m speculating (talking out my butt, if you prefer) that many pornographers have gotten ahead of their markets in that respect. I’m speculating that gratuitous sexual contempt (in videos that aren’t specifically designed to show same) is a bigger turnoff for many viewers than most pornographers imagine.
I guess what I’m saying is that I agree with Donny: It’s possible for a man to be rough and sexually demanding while still appearing to value the woman in question. But lots of pornographers don’t seem to be able to manage such depictions.
Well, there’s an interesting distinction there, but the line is blurrier than you think.
First, to an outsider, the humiliation and degradation aspects of BDSM are shocking. People often say “she (or he, for that matter, but noone has sympathy for men) can’t possibly be enjoying that!” Rest assured though, that plenty of women love getting slapped around and called nasty names before getting face-fucked until they gag. I personally know at least a dozen women who do, and a couple of men like myself who do too.
Personally, the appeal to me in particular is that I identify with the girl in such porn.
There is a point though. Even I think that [deleted] is disgustingly psychopathic. I’m not even sure where the line is drawn, but it’s there somewhere, and he crosses it. Maybe it’s because he shows absolutely no interest in whether or not she likes what he’s doing.
If [deleted] died a horrible death in a fiery plane crash, I would throw a party. People like him give porn a bad name and I firmly believe he hates women and plays to others who do.
Here Here!
Well I guess I won’t mention the “forbidden one” by name again, but I would just like to expound a bit on what I said before. I am all for consenting adults doing what they want. Period. I am personally a BDSM “practitioner.” I think because of that, I have MORE contempt for people like the “forbidden one.” There are plenty of accounts of his abuses and excesses and many porn actresses refuse to work with him. I think that says a lot about him as a person. It’s your blog and your prerogative to delete things, edit things, or whatever else you want to do, but to completely remove the “forbidden one’s” name, even in the previous post which was not wishing him a fiery death, strikes me as a bit…odd. This was a post about a certain kind of porn being produced, and the “forbidden one” does indeed produce this kind of porn… I think his name was bound to come up in the discussion.
:) I have seen my fair share of porn and I continue to go back to my old stand by’s of the 70’s and 80’a why? for the following: high production values, somewhat beliveable plot,actors who kiss and make us think that they are both in love and in lust,women who could be the girl we grew up next door to.ladys and gentelmen sex is mostly in the brain,when will porn producers get it.
Ayla, how long have you been an ErosBlog reader? Because if you’d been here long, you would recognize that there’s nothing at all odd about me enforcing the ErosBlog policy requiring civility. Letting people wish fiery death upon named persons would be odd — prohibiting it is not. (Nor, per your point about the other two comments, is it odd for me to prohibit accusations of psycopathy against named individuals.)
Another thing I’ve never allowed here is the expression of condemnation (or, in your parlance, “contempt” ) for the sexual preferences and practices of *anybody*. Your personal attacks against a controversial figure in the porn industry are quite unwelcome here, although I’m willing to tolerate them in their current non-specific form.
You won’t find a lot of contempt on ErosBlog, and I don’t welcome it from my commenters either. End of story.
If folks want to discuss specific gonzo porn poducers by name, even criticize them, that’s fine. But it must be done *civilly*, or be done elsewhere.
It’s so nice to see men stand up and say they’re sick of the humiliation and disrespect in porn. I know a lot of women are tired of it, but I’ve often found myself wondering about what sort of guys get off on that kind of nasty porn. Good to know there are men out there who want to see respect for women, regardless of the sexual activity performed.
But I don’t think the major porn producers will be changing their habits any time soon. They are, as someone has already said, stuck in their own world, repeating their own cliches.
Porn needs better audience research, I think.
Another man here who is really frustrated by the prevalence of disrespectful pornography. Like most guys, I really *like* women and it seems to me a lot of the makers of modern porn don’t.
This is why I agree with some of what anti-porn people say, not because I want porn banned (I love porn!), but because I think some of their critiques of the modern porn world are valid. Just as it’s possible to disagree with your gocernment without being unpatriotic, it’s also possible to despise certain trends in porn without being an abolitionist.
(I’ve just discovered Abby Winters which, while not my ideal porn, is certainly a wonderful antidote to ContemptPorn.)
Good Afternoon World:
For Bacchus: Without sounding like we want to start a flame war, what are you smoking??????
What is the primary reason,(or sencondary) reason for adult videos? AMBUANICE?????????
:) :P